horsesrule7 Posted June 15, 2012 Posted June 15, 2012 So my ex of a year and 3 months broke up with me a month ago...We haven't really seen each other or spoken since then. I have some stuff that he gave me while we were dating, but since we're not dating anymore I don't know what to do with it. It's just been tucked away, but they makes me kinda depressed to see it because they bring back so many memories. Like he gave me a heart necklace and matching bracelet for my birthday, and I just can't wear it anymore because it makes me sad and since it's a locket, I have a tiny folded up piece of paper in it that says "I love you" with the date that we started dating on it. So yeah, it just really makes me sad to see everything now that we're over and I don't know what to do with it...Should I give it back to him? If so, should I just give it to him if by chance I see him in person at some point (which is unlikely), or should I mail it to him? Or give it to a mutual friend to deliver it back to him?
Philosoraptor Posted June 15, 2012 Posted June 15, 2012 It was a gift so I'd say no. Either ditch it, sell it, or put it away somewhere.
Stanza Posted June 15, 2012 Posted June 15, 2012 Put it in a box and give it to a good friend. When you're through with the break up pain you may want it back as souvenirs or you may decide they can take the jewellry to charity. Either way, I'd wait until later. I do think we should eventually keep some momentos sometimes - unless the other party was really bad/awful to you.
k100danny Posted June 15, 2012 Posted June 15, 2012 these items are a gift to you and something loving from the relationship. If they still hurt to look at I would put them where you can't easily see them and In the future like the poster above said you can decide what you want to do with them. I don't tend to throw things away and if i bought someone something even if we broke up I wouldn't expect them to throw it away or give it back unless i had done something nasty such as cheat or something. You will get to a point where it doesn't hurt to see those things. I have just put the things my ex bought me in a box. At the minute they are reminders that I don't want to see but i also don't want to throw away either. in the future I will find them as a nice memory or get rid of them. I think sending stuff back always seems like a way of getting contact or something. I have some of my ex's stuff here which belongs to her and she left for me when she went travelling, as it's a new break up in not quite ready to let these things go but i will send them back to her as they are HER posessions. the only thing I asked for back from my ex was a watch that was left to me in a will by a close family friends. It is very special to me and very expensive and was given for her to remind her of me while travelling and she also left me a necklace that was very special to her which belonged to her sister I will return this.
Author horsesrule7 Posted June 15, 2012 Author Posted June 15, 2012 I don't want to keep this stuff though...not only does it hurt me to look at it, but he was a jerk anyways. He did the whole "fade out" thing, blamed me for everything, and then dumped me over a text. After we dated for a whole year and 3 months...it takes a real a** to break things off the way he did, after being in a long-term relationship, and I don't want to keep any souvenirs from an a**. I just want to send them back with a note that says something like "no need for these anymore...do what you want with them." He can deal with the memories that they bring back since he was such an a** to begin with. :/
k100danny Posted June 15, 2012 Posted June 15, 2012 I think in this case it would be best to give them away as your reason for returning them seems to be to get under his skin and get a reaction. I'm sorry you were in a bad relationship with someone and the were bad to you so i would recommend trying to move on, get rid of the stuff and try no contact.
Eddie Edirol Posted June 15, 2012 Posted June 15, 2012 I suggest you put it all in a box and drop it on his doorstep. Dont do it for his reaction, matter of fact if he contacts you then ignore him. But Ive done this and it makes you feel so much better to give them back, it sort of erases some of those memories. I was lucky enough to give my ex back her stuff to her face, after she tried to tell me to keep it. The look on her face felt good, because she knew I didnt need her. I never even remembered the stuff I gave back after that. memories erased. Dont give it to friends, because if they keep it and wear it, you will be reminded of the memories if you see them. You dont want to connect your ex with your friends in your mind.
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