neghitzbrah Posted June 15, 2012 Posted June 15, 2012 So much has happened since we broke up. It has been almost 1.5 years since the breakup of our 5 year relationship. It's been so long, and yet I can't seem to shake it. I just about have done everything to get over it. Made new friends, but that didn't seem to work well. I'd be hanging with them until I realized that I don't have anything in common with them. I even reconnected with my old friends but I royally screwed that up from a bunch of bad decisions. I'll explain those in a little bit. I tried to date again, but I either run into 2 different situations.. either 1) I become disinterested at a certain point and stop caring. Then I start to fade away from her life as hers to mine. That or 2) I end up liking someone who I'm dating and then they drift away or end up feeling indifferent. This has a habit of repeating itself over and over. I can't seem to shake it. Will I ever fall in love again? On top of this, I don't feel like I am acting like myself ever. For some reason I care so much about what other people think that I have to actively tell myself not to. It makes me feel so uncomfortable with myself. It bothers me when someone doesn't text back almost immediately, or when some girl I'm liking doesn't respond to me in the way I would like her to. It's as if I'm expecting too much from people. Life is becoming one big disappointment. I can honestly admit that I have not been happy since we broke up. I don't care what it is. IF we don't get back together then so be it. Why can't I meet someone else that I am actually into? How come I have to continue to better myself to meet someone? Do people who are at their best meet someone their in love with? Are those the only people who meet and fall for others? It's holding me back all the time. Can I just go one day without thinking about a girl or my ex? Guys... please someone tell me this is normal. I feel like I'm the only one in this world and no one understands me. And the only person who understood me is out of my life.
Philosoraptor Posted June 15, 2012 Posted June 15, 2012 It certainly doesn't seem like you've healed, everyone moves at their own pace. I'd say your big issue now is that you may be going outside of your norm to try and get away from these feelings rather than living inside of your comfort zone. You're also basing a lot of your internal feelings on what the outside world thinks of you. I can tell you that more often than not you will date and things not work out. The thing to remember is that you only need it to stick once. In the end just be yourself as it's the best way to attract the right mate who likes you just the way you are. Anyone who doesn't like you just the way you come wasn't the right person for you anyways.
Author neghitzbrah Posted June 17, 2012 Author Posted June 17, 2012 Yes that is true. Living outside of my comfort zone has been a bit excessive and stressful lately. But that's the reason why I decided to be on my own because life was too much in a shell. I hate sulking is depression most of the time. After about an hour of feelin depressed usually, I get sick of it and decide to hang out with some friends. Those feelings of missin her come and go.. But they're always around still. Sometimes whenever they come around I feel to need to be affectionate toward another girl just to get it out... But the feelin is unbearable sometimes and makes me feel uncomfortable. I don't wanna be that dude that hits on a lot of girls all the time but it's just the way I act. I've learned to tone it down a little bit to keep myself in check. Though it has gotten me in trouble.
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