Author tigressA Posted June 17, 2012 Author Posted June 17, 2012 My date was fabulous. We hit it off immediately, had a lovely evening out, and he ended up spending the night. It was wild, hot, and amazing!! He was wrapped and tangled around me all night like a barnacle (love). I am floating in the clouds today He is cute AND sexy AND smart AND a great communicator and so many good things. I'm preparing myself for any possible next step, but I can't deny that I like this guy a lot. I'm just enjoying the feeling Wow, sounds like a fantastic night! :bunny: Aren't you glad you cleaned your house?! I was in the clouds yesterday myself. I've come back down closer to Earth today. I had to communicate some boundaries when he was here. He started to call me babe and I reminded him what my given name is, and I refused when he wanted to take a pic of us on his phone. That's relationship stuff and I'm nowhere near that realm with him yet (I know that sounds preposterous to some since I brought him into my bed on our second date, but whatever). Even if I don't see this guy again, I'll still be happy I got some action after four months of nothing. 1
LittlePrince Posted June 17, 2012 Posted June 17, 2012 Guy #1 I've already friendzoned. We got together twice, most recently on Sunday. He's fun, very intelligent and nice, a year younger than me; we got along well, but I just wasn't feeling attracted to him. I compromised a bit on the attractiveness factor; he isn't my usual type. He's tall and kinda lanky but with hints of pudge (in the face, particularly) and I just don't go for that. I like guys who are lean all over. Have you tried speed dating in Auschwitz? 1
Ruby Slippers Posted June 17, 2012 Posted June 17, 2012 Even if I don't see this guy again, I'll still be happy I got some action after four months of nothing. I hear you. Now I'm playing the waiting game. I want him to caaaall. I'll be fine either way, but I wish he would just stop torturing me and call. I feel like SUCH a girl. But it's kinda fun 2
Author tigressA Posted June 17, 2012 Author Posted June 17, 2012 I just got off the phone with him; he called. He's coming here again tomorrow. We're going to meet up after I'm done with work and head to a takeout place a couple blocks from my apartment, and have a picnic in the park. Then it'll be back to my place. I'm going to be prepared this time (condoms)! 1
Ruby Slippers Posted June 17, 2012 Posted June 17, 2012 I just got off the phone with him; he called. He's coming here again tomorrow. We're going to meet up after I'm done with work and head to a takeout place a couple blocks from my apartment, and have a picnic in the park. Then it'll be back to my place. I'm going to be prepared this time (condoms)! Ahhh, I love your date plan! And after-date plan. My guy just texted to ask how my lunch with a friend went today - just a few hours after he left. I can finally relax! He likes me, too. I know, I know - calm down!!! I just really like this guy. :love: 2
Disenchantedly Yours Posted June 17, 2012 Posted June 17, 2012 ... and he walked me back to my building which was a couple miles away, late at night, even though he had to go all the way back downtown (he took the train in, he lives in a nearby town and rarely drives, which I also like). He seems rather quirky and spontaneous, a bit of a hipster type. He gets a thumbs up from me Tigress. That's good stuff. I'm hoping I at least get a good makeout session tomorrow night; I haven't seen any action in some time and I'm losing patience in everything because of it. With regard to what else I'm looking for...eh, I'm just seeing where things go with each person, and if/when it burns out, it's back to the drawing board. Or not. Let us know how it goes! 1
ThaWholigan Posted June 17, 2012 Posted June 17, 2012 This thread reads like a giant orgasmic sex-fest in the making . This is bad for my 21 day challenge Have a fantastic night and a good time girls 1
SmileFace Posted June 17, 2012 Posted June 17, 2012 Well I don't have any date updates -- since distance doesn't permit. However I have a weekend in the city to plan. Where I get to play sexy tour guide:bunny: 3
eleanorhurting Posted June 18, 2012 Posted June 18, 2012 The moderators banned me five months ago for "PERSONAL ATTACK ON A MOD" for no reason yet allow the piss account of TIGRESSA to stay. This place blows. i dont normally argue with trolls but you're messing with my friend so shut your ugly face 2
ThaWholigan Posted June 18, 2012 Posted June 18, 2012 i dont normally argue with trolls but you're messing with my friend so shut your ugly face just report and ignore 1
Author tigressA Posted June 19, 2012 Author Posted June 19, 2012 Okay, so I'm a bit of a smitten kitten. We had date #3 last night; there was a bit of a change in plan. It had been really rainy yesterday, so while we did get takeout we had it at my place instead of outdoors. He brought wine and while I don't normally like wine, what he had brought was good. I lit a little candle and we sat on my cute retro bar stools scarfing down Chinese food. There was another imposition that appeared that morning--crimson tide. :mad:So, no sex. We were still all over each other all night, though. He stayed over again and walked me to work this morning. He holds my hand and sometimes puts his arm around me when we're walking together. He's super-sweet--he was doing all these little things when he was here, like refilling the filtered water pitcher when it ran out after he poured a glass, rinsing any dishes that were out and putting them in the sink, and putting the leftover takeout in the fridge. I think he's starting to show his cards--he was asking me vaguely pointed questions about my intentions, and he started throwing 'we' around a little bit. He asked how I would feel seeing someone who doesn't live close by (he lives a couple towns away, less than 2 hours, but still a slight nuisance due to the differences in our schedules), etc. I just kept it light, answering in general terms, and said I'm having a lot of fun getting to know him. 1
mysteryscape Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 Testing to see if I can reply to the top of the thread here.
ThaWholigan Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 Okay, so I'm a bit of a smitten kitten. We had date #3 last night; there was a bit of a change in plan. It had been really rainy yesterday, so while we did get takeout we had it at my place instead of outdoors. He brought wine and while I don't normally like wine, what he had brought was good. I lit a little candle and we sat on my cute retro bar stools scarfing down Chinese food. There was another imposition that appeared that morning--crimson tide. :mad:So, no sex. We were still all over each other all night, though. He stayed over again and walked me to work this morning. He holds my hand and sometimes puts his arm around me when we're walking together. He's super-sweet--he was doing all these little things when he was here, like refilling the filtered water pitcher when it ran out after he poured a glass, rinsing any dishes that were out and putting them in the sink, and putting the leftover takeout in the fridge. I think he's starting to show his cards--he was asking me vaguely pointed questions about my intentions, and he started throwing 'we' around a little bit. He asked how I would feel seeing someone who doesn't live close by (he lives a couple towns away, less than 2 hours, but still a slight nuisance due to the differences in our schedules), etc. I just kept it light, answering in general terms, and said I'm having a lot of fun getting to know him. Sounds like it's progressing swimmingly! I think keeping it light for now is better, it's probably fortunate there hasn't been any sex yet (might make it even better when it does happen!). Whens the next date??
Author tigressA Posted June 19, 2012 Author Posted June 19, 2012 Sounds like it's progressing swimmingly! I think keeping it light for now is better, it's probably fortunate there hasn't been any sex yet (might make it even better when it does happen!). Whens the next date?? Yeah, I think you're right. I do kind of like that we haven't had sex yet. I don't know when the next date is. I may be seeing him this weekend, going to his neck of the woods. We talked about it vaguely but didn't set up any specific plan. He said we'd talk soon, so I'll wait until he gets in touch and asks what I'm up to. So far he's done all the asking out; I don't think that will be changing anytime soon. I'm enjoying letting him be the one to take the lead. 2
ThaWholigan Posted June 20, 2012 Posted June 20, 2012 Yeah, I think you're right. I do kind of like that we haven't had sex yet. I don't know when the next date is. I may be seeing him this weekend, going to his neck of the woods. We talked about it vaguely but didn't set up any specific plan. He said we'd talk soon, so I'll wait until he gets in touch and asks what I'm up to. So far he's done all the asking out; I don't think that will be changing anytime soon. I'm enjoying letting him be the one to take the lead. Sounds excellent!
Author tigressA Posted June 20, 2012 Author Posted June 20, 2012 Of course in the meantime I'm being a little girly and keeping my ears pricked for the phone vibrate :laugh: 1
Disenchantedly Yours Posted June 20, 2012 Posted June 20, 2012 I love relaxed dates like that Tigress...where it's just the two of you in your own little world. One of my favorite types of dates is cooking together. I hope it keeps progressing.
Ruby Slippers Posted June 20, 2012 Posted June 20, 2012 Of course in the meantime I'm being a little girly and keeping my ears pricked for the phone vibrate :laugh: And then playing oh so cool when it does, right? I'm very glad things are moving along so nicely for you! 1
Ruby Slippers Posted June 20, 2012 Posted June 20, 2012 (edited) I do kind of like that we haven't had sex yet. If I can give you a word of advice, it's to wait a while longer if you can. I was kind of kicking myself about getting naked with this guy so fast, because after the thrill of it all, I realized that I really like him and he seems to have real potential. I hate that we have to be the "gatekeepers", because I love sex more than some men - but we do. The first conversation after the date was great, but it had that slight undercurrent of "omg we both just slept with someone who is essentially a stranger". I was reading all my relationship books today (the ones I'm embarrassed to own and hide in the closet, like the Mars & Venus stuff ), and kicking myself for flying past the early stages of a relationship that progresses to lasting. But the books even acknowledge how hard it is to resist the temptation to have sex right away, and give tips for dealing with it! And not all hope was lost, because some had tips for correcting the situation of sex too soon - backtrack, basically. Then he called me this evening and asked me out for Friday night on a proper date - a restaurant that I was raving about and a jazz club. I had suggested the jazz club before, but it didn't happen that night. So I think this is his way of backtracking as well, from hooking up to dating. Our first date was basically a date-hookup hybrid! What to do about the sex from here - well, I'm still thinking about that. Whatever happens, I am so glad I met this guy, because he is a big time wake-up call to get clear about what I want, and get back to the standards and principles I used to have. Edited June 20, 2012 by Ruby Slippers 1
Author tigressA Posted June 20, 2012 Author Posted June 20, 2012 I'm so excited for you, Ruby! I kind of like that we haven't yet had sex only because it tends to ratchet up the excitement and anticipation. I like this guy but I don't know what I want. I'm 'exclusive by default' with him since we've been intimate and I don't feel comfortable getting to know anyone else while in this situation, but I haven't told him that and I'm still active on the site, if only checking messages. Mostly, I'm just letting him take the lead and deciding along the way if I feel uncomfortable at any juncture. I suppose that's as good a way as any to suss out what I do want. 1
Ruby Slippers Posted June 20, 2012 Posted June 20, 2012 OK, I think that's a different situation from mine. I'm just getting to know this guy, but so far, I've been very impressed - and that does NOT happen often for me. I can definitely see this going somewhere, so it's challenging me to bring my best. Though I started off with a more casual attitude, after spending one night with him, I realized I cannot be casual with this guy anymore. He's too smart, appealing, and awesome. I can't treat a guy like this like a takeout meal. He's a multi-course feast that needs to be savored. 1
Mme. Chaucer Posted June 20, 2012 Posted June 20, 2012 I think it's great to hold off for a while to have sex if you are really digging the person (not necessarily want to have a LTR with him, but you like spending time together). The anticipation and sexual tension that build up are really quite intoxicating and once you cross that barrier, you certainly might move onto other intoxicating things - but that time of mystery will never come back again. So savor it. 1
Author tigressA Posted June 20, 2012 Author Posted June 20, 2012 I'm not sure how much mystery is left between us at this point. There is a lot of anticipation though, and that is very exciting, of course. I do like him, and I wonder if it's such a good idea to be having sex with him when I don't even know what I want out of my interactions with him outside of that. So I'll hold off for a little while longer, spend some more time with him and figure it all out.
Onlyjonley Posted June 20, 2012 Posted June 20, 2012 Reading all of this makes me miss the exciting first stages a little bit!
SmileFace Posted June 20, 2012 Posted June 20, 2012 Every thing is peachy on my end. He is giving me no reason to doubt anything. It's progressing at a decent speed and his communication skills are great. However the fact that we are so far away and actually will have to establish a relationship with the given distance doesn't sit right with me. As usual I am doubting the chance of this, as I do with every potential relationship I have - that may explain why they don't work for me. However his persistence and how great of a person he is is making me want to try. I am scared truthfully however I won't know what may happen unless I try. For all I know I can be moving in his area in a couple months. I don't want to experience a next cold winter. 3
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