Necromancer Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 A guy who did horrible with women(getting rejected over and over), turning into a ladies man? Is that even possible? lets get realistic folks. Just curious if anybody has seen a guy like that
pteromom Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 Yes! My first husband. He was awkward and shy and clumsy, and had bad luck with dating. We became friends, then more, then got married. We spent a year together, and during that time, I helped him gain confidence in himself. He opened up and started showing everyone else how funny and cute he was, including all the ladies. Then he cheated on me with one of them. Then I dumped him. Then he went through a period where he dated woman after woman after woman... the last I heard, he was engaged again.
Author Necromancer Posted June 15, 2012 Author Posted June 15, 2012 Yes! My first husband. He was awkward and shy and clumsy, and had bad luck with dating. We became friends, then more, then got married. We spent a year together, and during that time, I helped him gain confidence in himself. He opened up and started showing everyone else how funny and cute he was, including all the ladies. Then he cheated on me with one of them. Then I dumped him. Then he went through a period where he dated woman after woman after woman... the last I heard, he was engaged again. What do you call bad luck in dating. This is like a fantasy story, because I have never seen a guy going from a loser to a ladies man.
USMCHokie Posted June 15, 2012 Posted June 15, 2012 What do you call bad luck in dating. This is like a fantasy story, because I have never seen a guy going from a loser to a ladies man. Like Steve Carrell's character in Crazy Stupid Love...?
Cracker Jack Posted June 15, 2012 Posted June 15, 2012 Seen a guy like that? I've known plenty of guys who've made the change. Yeah, it's very realistic. Nothing like that is impossible. The problem is most guys would rather look at it as some unattainable goal rather than work on making it a reality in their lives. Less theory fighting is always key. 1
Eddie Edirol Posted June 15, 2012 Posted June 15, 2012 (edited) What do you call bad luck in dating. This is like a fantasy story, because I have never seen a guy going from a loser to a ladies man. I dont think theres any such thing as bad luck with women. When you do the research to find out what women want, and how to navigate dating dynamics, thats how you become a ladies man. It can always be learned. You have to find out the right times and places to look for women. And even then, depending on the type of women you get, you dont have bad luck if you just keep picking the wrong women. Edited June 15, 2012 by Eddie Edirol 2
Seductive Posted June 15, 2012 Posted June 15, 2012 I dont think theres any such thing as bad luck with women. When you do the research to find out what women want, and how to navigate dating dynamics, thats how you become a ladies man. It can always be learned. You have to find out the right times and places to look for women. And even then, depending on the type of women you get, you dont have bad luck if you just keep picking the wrong women. The kind of posts that you typed up months ago sure don't make you look like a ladies man. I wonder if someone called you out on your insensitivity and social awkwardness. It's true that your previous personality on loveshack would have a been a turn-off to most women.
Author Necromancer Posted June 15, 2012 Author Posted June 15, 2012 Like Steve Carrell's character in Crazy Stupid Love...? You know a guy who is not socially awkward, but does poorly attracting women and then in 1\2\3 years he will transform into a ladies man who has easy time attracting women.
Author Necromancer Posted June 15, 2012 Author Posted June 15, 2012 it hapens a lot I can only image it happen if the guy gets much better looking in a short time. Because to have alot of girls after you, you must be good looking.
fortyninethousand322 Posted June 15, 2012 Posted June 15, 2012 A guy who did horrible with women(getting rejected over and over), turning into a ladies man? Is that even possible? lets get realistic folks. Just curious if anybody has seen a guy like that Completely horrible, into a ladies man? Nope. Never. I have seen guys do horribly and then rebound and do decently though.
jobaba Posted June 15, 2012 Posted June 15, 2012 (edited) A guy who did horrible with women(getting rejected over and over), turning into a ladies man? Is that even possible? lets get realistic folks. Just curious if anybody has seen a guy like that Hmmm. Funny you ask. I have actually considered this question myself many times over the years. Funny how certain people think alike. The short answer is ... not really. I'll tell you what I have seen though. Guys who in high school were awkward and anti social, dressed horribly, or were so painfully shy, they turned red when women tried to talk to them. Once those guys started gaining more social skills, dressed better, started going out more and gained a little more confidence, they started doing better with women. My best friend is like this. He had no women in high school and like one GF in college, and in his mid 20s, he went haywire and got lots of women. Lots. But those guys are different. They had yet to establish what I call their BASELINE ATTRACTIVENESS. Remember that, it will be on the test. My friend was always attractive and women thought he was cute, he was just a little too shy and geeky. Once you are around young to mid 20s, have learned to dress and groom halfway presentable, have a modicum of social skills, and get out at least somewhat ... that is your baseline attractiveness. I established mine by the time I was 25 to 27 or so. I barely even talked to girls in high school, so I had no clue of what my potential was. But by mid 20s, I had met lots of women through college, work, and in bars and clubs. I dressed pretty well, had halfway decent social skills and went out quite a bit. Since I had no women attracted to me, it was pretty clear what my baseline was. But you can always rise higher or lower than your baseline by a certain level, but not too much. For instance, I've known a few guys who in their 20s were horrible with women, getting rejected just trying to be their geeky selves. They decided to go the whole 9 yards. Start dressing spiffy, getting into the party scene, trying to adopt a smooth attitude, and approaching women with balls of steel. They still did horrible. Some of these guys completely changed their personality, style, and aggressiveness. It's kind of sad how much looks plays a part in being able to attract someone if you really think about it. If anybody has made some decent improvement in the guys in our circle, I guess you could almost say it is me. I got no women through my mid to late 20s, and was rejected all the time. I started to concentrate my efforts a little more and play the numbers wiser and in the tail end of my 20s to early 30s I've had a few. And they have been decent looking. But I'm still nowhere near where my good looking friends were in their 20s, and my game is better now than theirs were then. Edited June 15, 2012 by jobaba
jobaba Posted June 15, 2012 Posted June 15, 2012 I can only image it happen if the guy gets much better looking in a short time. Because to have alot of girls after you, you must be good looking. The only thing that I can think of physically wise that will make you much better looking to women is if you are obese and lose a ton of weight. Other than that, whatever you do isn't going to help THAT much. If you are already in decent shape, getting a KILLER body would help some, but I'm not sure how much.
verhrzn Posted June 15, 2012 Posted June 15, 2012 Almost every single one of my ex-boyfriends. After I got a hold of them, they'd dump me for their next girlfriend... who was absolutely perfect. Hot, sweet, nerdy, always the whole package.
Woggle Posted June 15, 2012 Posted June 15, 2012 Yes and almost everytime it was because they went from nice guy to jerk who treated women like play things. My coworker who just got divorced was always the gentlemen who wanted to please women but after his ex screwed him over he is openly misogynistic and the funny thing is women seem to not be able to resist it.
jobaba Posted June 15, 2012 Posted June 15, 2012 Almost every single one of my ex-boyfriends. After I got a hold of them, they'd dump me for their next girlfriend... who was absolutely perfect. Hot, sweet, nerdy, always the whole package. What are you? Like the minor league farm system?
verhrzn Posted June 15, 2012 Posted June 15, 2012 What are you? Like the minor league farm system? I am the Good Luck Chuck of Nerd Boys. I'm thinking of advertising.
jobaba Posted June 15, 2012 Posted June 15, 2012 Yes and almost everytime it was because they went from nice guy to jerk who treated women like play things. My coworker who just got divorced was always the gentlemen who wanted to please women but after his ex screwed him over he is openly misogynistic and the funny thing is women seem to not be able to resist it. I have seen some of this too, but I would like to temper it. I know a few guys who were 'nice guys' in their early 20s and had a steady girlfriend. Then, something happened to make them go bitter, and they started wanting to be players. The jerk attitude just went along with their level of aggressiveness. I know a couple of guys like this who got a lot of women. But they were still attractive guys. I've also known less attractive guys who had the same attitudes who got none. Like honestly, these two guys who used to hang out and try and pick up girls together and say the same lines and use the same attitude. One guy did awesome and the other got literally nothing. Being a jerk in itself gets you nowhere.
Woggle Posted June 15, 2012 Posted June 15, 2012 I have seen some of this too, but I would like to temper it. I know a few guys who were 'nice guys' in their early 20s and had a steady girlfriend. Then, something happened to make them go bitter, and they started wanting to be players. The jerk attitude just went along with their level of aggressiveness. I know a couple of guys like this who got a lot of women. But they were still attractive guys. I've also known less attractive guys who had the same attitudes who got none. Like honestly, these two guys who used to hang out and try and pick up girls together and say the same lines and use the same attitude. One guy did awesome and the other got literally nothing. Being a jerk in itself gets you nowhere. It has to be real. This guy simply does not give an eff after doing the right thing and having it all go wrong. He did all the things he was told a man should do and it blew up in his face so now he simply does what makes him happy and it has worked out great for him. I had a similiar attitude after my first divorce and women really do seem to be attracted to it.
jobaba Posted June 15, 2012 Posted June 15, 2012 It has to be real. This guy simply does not give an eff after doing the right thing and having it all go wrong. He did all the things he was told a man should do and it blew up in his face so now he simply does what makes him happy and it has worked out great for him. I had a similiar attitude after my first divorce and women really do seem to be attracted to it. Dude. It's crazy. My cousin was going out with this guy who was absolutely in love with her. This guy used to spend Friday nights at Barnes and Nobles. Then she cheated on him and dumped him. And he turned into this maniac who couldn't get enough tail. He chased after every girl there was (that was his type) and did really well. He's married now with a kid and still hits on women! It's an amazing transformation to witness.
Woggle Posted June 15, 2012 Posted June 15, 2012 Dude. It's crazy. My cousin was going out with this guy who was absolutely in love with her. This guy used to spend Friday nights at Barnes and Nobles. Then she cheated on him and dumped him. And he turned into this maniac who couldn't get enough tail. He chased after every girl there was (that was his type) and did really well. He's married now with a kid and still hits on women! It's an amazing transformation to witness. After a while men learn what works and what doesn't. I don't cheat on my wife and I treat her well but if she ever starts mistreating me she will be shown the door and I think she knows it.
Ninjainpajamas Posted June 15, 2012 Posted June 15, 2012 A guy who did horrible with women(getting rejected over and over), turning into a ladies man? Is that even possible? lets get realistic folks. Just curious if anybody has seen a guy like that Depends what you deem a "ladies man"... A lot of guys don't have the confidence, stunning looks, or understand women well enough to attract or at least make consistent progress with women early on... Then later on down the road they gain confidence, realize looks aren't as important as they thought they were or at least as much as a determining factor where they couldn't get laid, and learn a few useful things about women...typically from being in relationships or married to use against women. Not exactly what I would call ladies men, they're more like average men with an understanding of the weaknesses of women. Moderate success shouldn't be labeled as being a ladies man imo. However there are a lot of women out there with low self esteem, think they're unattractive or unworthy even though they are (in fact a lot of the most beautiful women i have known had the lowest self esteem of all), and can be desperate, lonely, etc...this is honestly what gives most guys their greatest opportunity...It's about how women feel about themselves, far more than the mans "skills". And naturally men can gain an upperhand simply with age as they are seen as more mature just for being old. Now If you're talking about a guy who all of a sudden understands women, knows how to intrigue, excite and tap into their primal nature and emotions, and essentially inherits all these talents to become a womanizer..then I'd say no, because you need a certain level of specific qualities and aptitude to maintain a consistent level of success with different groups of women(uneducated, educated, intelligent, successful, women with exclusive tastes and interests that don't even match your and you're not just their "type" traditionally)...a lot of guys are only succesful with women with their same interest, social circle, with help of wingman or even wingwoman that throws in the nice word to start things out...when you put them in the big world in an unfamiliar setting they become the average guy, no special exuding or captivating qualities that peak a womans interest, it's like a fish out of water....they've got no rep, popularity or in's to automatically have a few brownie points already added to their rating. Can you be much more successful with women in the future? absolutely...would I say you are a ladies man for it? no, I just think you will find our niche and figure out what kind of women you can attract and appeal to with your qualities. If you have these grandios expectations, I don't think that's a realistic expectation...like most things past a certain level, you either got it or you don't to be frank about it. But that doesn't mean you can't find a girl that you're going to be very happy with, however rounding up the ladies like cattle probably isn't in the books for you, unless you value quantity over quality and keep the standards low because great women are usually looking for great guys not to just settle or be strung along.
Author Necromancer Posted June 15, 2012 Author Posted June 15, 2012 Hmmm. Funny you ask. I have actually considered this question myself many times over the years. Funny how certain people think alike. The short answer is ... not really. I'll tell you what I have seen though. Guys who in high school were awkward and anti social, dressed horribly, or were so painfully shy, they turned red when women tried to talk to them. Once those guys started gaining more social skills, dressed better, started going out more and gained a little more confidence, they started doing better with women. My best friend is like this. He had no women in high school and like one GF in college, and in his mid 20s, he went haywire and got lots of women. Lots. But those guys are different. They had yet to establish what I call their BASELINE ATTRACTIVENESS. Remember that, it will be on the test. My friend was always attractive and women thought he was cute, he was just a little too shy and geeky. Once you are around young to mid 20s, have learned to dress and groom halfway presentable, have a modicum of social skills, and get out at least somewhat ... that is your baseline attractiveness. I established mine by the time I was 25 to 27 or so. I barely even talked to girls in high school, so I had no clue of what my potential was. But by mid 20s, I had met lots of women through college, work, and in bars and clubs. I dressed pretty well, had halfway decent social skills and went out quite a bit. Since I had no women attracted to me, it was pretty clear what my baseline was. But you can always rise higher or lower than your baseline by a certain level, but not too much. For instance, I've known a few guys who in their 20s were horrible with women, getting rejected just trying to be their geeky selves. They decided to go the whole 9 yards. Start dressing spiffy, getting into the party scene, trying to adopt a smooth attitude, and approaching women with balls of steel. They still did horrible. Some of these guys completely changed their personality, style, and aggressiveness. It's kind of sad how much looks plays a part in being able to attract someone if you really think about it. If anybody has made some decent improvement in the guys in our circle, I guess you could almost say it is me. I got no women through my mid to late 20s, and was rejected all the time. I started to concentrate my efforts a little more and play the numbers wiser and in the tail end of my 20s to early 30s I've had a few. And they have been decent looking. But I'm still nowhere near where my good looking friends were in their 20s, and my game is better now than theirs were then. This is what i was looking for!, Looks play a HUGE part in it. I have a friend who is an "okei" personality but he gets allot of girls. I have had TONS of people complementing my personality, even a friend of mine said she always gets something in the cheeks when she´s with me....still he blows me AWAY even through i dress better than him and take MUCH more care of myself. The difference is that he has better face. Personality and outgoing style will only get you so far, without looks to back it up and that´s the truth.
jobaba Posted June 15, 2012 Posted June 15, 2012 This is what i was looking for!, Looks play a HUGE part in it. I have a friend who is an "okei" personality but he gets allot of girls. I have had TONS of people complementing my personality, even a friend of mine said she always gets something in the cheeks when she´s with me....still he blows me AWAY even through i dress better than him and take MUCH more care of myself. The difference is that he has better face. Personality and outgoing style will only get you so far, without looks to back it up and that´s the truth. Yes, that's how it is. That has been mostly my experience as well. Girls think I'm the coolest, they're just not attracted. You can always max your potential though. By going through numbers and by actively looking for women who are less shallow. You may never be a 'ladies man' but you can do fairly well if you work hard enough.
Ross MwcFan Posted June 15, 2012 Posted June 15, 2012 Me. Well, kind of. I've always been rejected and have never experienced any interest in me offline. But as soon as I go online, BAM, I'm a ladies man and they all want a piece of me. I don't get it.
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