Insanityshorse Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 So, just a minor update for anyone that cares, or read the original posts. Break up happened about a month and a half ago? 2 months maybe? Great relationship, timing was just off with me being unemployed and her so busy. Lotta love still between us. Anyway, since the break up I have gotten ALL my bills caught up, got 2 jobs (one is really good) am very busy, and have gotten some savings going. Really I haven't felt this good in a long time, even when I was with the Ex. Anyhow, things are great for me (and no matter what will be even after hanging out with the ex). So I decided after 3+ weeks of not talking, or seeing each other to give her a call. She picked up RIGHT away and was with a friend of hers. My ex NEVER answers the phone while with other people... she thinks it's really rude. She says how glad she is I called and that she had been thinking about calling me a lot over the last while (she was respecting that I told her we would NOT be just friends). She then immedietely without any prompting from me asks if we can get together and catch up. Today is my only day off for the next 2 weeks so we are getting together this afternoon. I am not expecting ANYTHING from hanging out today. I think it's going to be fun though at any rate, the sun is out and shining and I've got so much going on I can't stop smiling all day. What a turn around from a month ago. no matter what happens though my mental and personal turn around over the last month will not be shaken. In any case I will update this thread with what happens!
Boulware58 Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 Wish you the best of luck and hope you can come out a winner, as so many of us see the ex, and are still willing to give it all back and revert back to that cycle that got us to that point. I look forward to hearing how things go, and how you feel afterwards. Keep your head held high my friend.
Author Insanityshorse Posted June 15, 2012 Author Posted June 15, 2012 It all went perfect. We hung out for about 10 hours. Had some drinks, dinner, went to a show (impromptu, she wanted to hang out more). Then I took her home and dropped her off. She said it felt weird that I wasn't coming in and staying the night with her. I probably could have if I wanted to, but I think we had enough for one night. One thing at a time I think. She text me on my way home thanking me for a wonderful night and to have sweet dreams. None of this in itself means anything about getting back together. It is however, certainly moving in the right direction.
Author Insanityshorse Posted July 1, 2012 Author Posted July 1, 2012 Just a little up date. The ex and I have hung out multiple times now (we even went to a nude beach together). Lots of casual touching and general chemistry still there. We hung out yesterday though and she mentioned in passing that she had been thinking about being together again, that we had such a strong connection and that we still care for each other greatly. She also said though that she remembered that school starts again soon and that she just cannot allow herself to be distracted. We also talked about how we both really want to be together but that now just is not the time. I understand that and agree with it. So patience is the name of the game I suppose. Sounds good to me I've got some things I need to work on with myself and will take the time to do that. We are going out of town together on the 3rd and 4th and spending the night together, so we will see how that goes. Damn, being in love with someone you know that you can't have at the moment sure is tough.
GLDheart Posted July 2, 2012 Posted July 2, 2012 ...Damn, being in love with someone you know that you can't have at the moment sure is tough. ...and can breed greater desire
cheerflexie Posted July 5, 2012 Posted July 5, 2012 That is a very insightful post. My boyfriend and I just broke up. Mostly for the reasons of unfortunate situation versus bad things. He told me we will hang out as soon as he comes back from his deployment and take things slowly. I just couldn't wrap my head around it for awhile. Going back to square one with a person that I used to be serious with.
Pod81 Posted July 6, 2012 Posted July 6, 2012 For those of you meeting up with the ex for the first time, I HIGHLY HIGHLY suggest reading through this thread (yes, it's long but it contains so much insightful and inspiration advice and information)... http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/second-chances/270815-houston-we-have-contact
Author Insanityshorse Posted July 7, 2012 Author Posted July 7, 2012 (edited) Well, the trip to the lake went awry unfortunately. The drive out and first night was great. We had a blast, and at night slept in the same bed together. Right before bed she even said "we're sleeping in the same bed if that's okay, maybe cuddle a little if that's alright with you?". We did, felt good to be honest, but in the morning when we woke up I asked her to come closer so I could hug her and she said it was too hot. Boy that set the tone for the rest of the day. Totally not communicating well, had multiple discussions and an overall kind of bad day. We drove home at 5 in the morning the next day, we were both super tired and hung over. I asked if I could sleep for half the drive because I had to work 8 hours when we got home. She agreed, and then when I woke up.... oh CRAP was she mad. I understand too, she was driving back so I could go to work, not because she wanted to leave the lake. It was a dick move to make her drive with me asleep half the time.... I should have known better. So we kind of had an angry, all the feelings out talk on the way home. We are NOT getting back together. At least not for any time in the foreseeable future. My ONLY regret was not telling her my intentions and feelings when we were both calm and mentally fresh so that we could talk about it in a calm adult way. As it happened it got a little out of control. She dropped me off at work and one of the last things she said was, "I'm leaving the ball in your court, when you are ready to be my friend call me." Then she said she felt like I was delaying leaving the car and that if I did that I was choosing her over my work and that was not okay. I then hopped out of the car and went to work. It sounds really ****ty, and it was at the time (I just wish it didn't go down in that way). The only really good thing is that now I do indeed have closure, I love the girl, I always will.... but now I know where we stand and I can let go. I might see her today because I left my phone at the lake and since she was going back she got it for me. She text my room mates last night about bringing it over here for me. I have some stuff to go do so I might miss her which is okay, although part of me wants to call her and tell her that I could meet her somewhere to get it (and make it very fast). I don't really want her to have to go out of her way to do me a favor. Anyway, I guess that's that. Love, what an M-F'er! Edited July 7, 2012 by Insanityshorse
Alban Posted July 8, 2012 Posted July 8, 2012 Sorry bro, but do you want ? You love her so wtf are you doing ? You are weird as **** don't make it so difficult know what you want, if you don't know let her go I think she is waiting for your signal. I think you should go NC for a while and clear your minds. Have a nice time
Sebastian76 Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 TBh I found it a bit weird too... why didn't you sleep with her that first night? Makes no sense to me. She was hot for you for sure and you brushed her off by not accepting her invitation. Sounds like you tried to play to many games and ended up in a self created mess.
Author Insanityshorse Posted July 15, 2012 Author Posted July 15, 2012 Well, in retrospect I think I should have at least spent the night with her that night. I'm not so sure it was an invitation as much as a comment, but it more than likely was at least an open door. I saw her a few days after the heated car ride back into town. She was really sorry for the fight and I told her the same. I had some stuff I needed to go do so I only stayed with her for like 5 minutes. She said she would call me soon. That remains to be seen really. Here is the thing though.... I don't think I want to be friends. I mean I do, I love the girl, but I don't think there is a chance for us to be together right now, and just being friends would be too painful for me I think. She doesn't want to be with ANYONE right now, and to be perfectly honest we both have some growing that needs to be done and I don't think it's possible while being in each others lives. I really think the best chance at a friendship, or if the universe decides the timing is right again, a relationship together.... well it's to have a big long break in contact. So I think if she calls sometime soon I'm going to have to tell her that. It's the right thing to do, even though it sucks.
Author Insanityshorse Posted July 23, 2012 Author Posted July 23, 2012 (edited) So, things have gotten so weird that I'm not even sure how the heck to proceed. I had been doing the NC thing and yesterday she texts me that she wants to hang out. I told her no I had things I needed to get done which was true. She then calls like 40 minutes later basically BEGGING me to hang out. That she has some amazing stuff to talk to me about. So I go. Durring this conversation she says that she(and I'm not even joking about this) feels like she is an angel, that she will give birth to jesus christ in the next year, that I am the prophet that is supposed to guide her (my name is Isaiah) and many other very, very strange things. It also came out that she is sleeping with a 52 year old man who is her "spiritual teacher", I of course pointed out the hypocracy of transending flesh while being physical. This man is warping her mind in a way that is clearly not healthy. My best friend works with her as a bartender and tonight she walked out of work stating "I have found god in the woods and I can no longer work here". I am so worried about her because clearly that is not something a healthy person would do. This has gotten to the piont where this no longer has anything to do with being together and everything to do with concern for a friend. It seriously sounds like she is in a cult now. I have no idea how to proceed or what to say..... I care about this person so deeply that I am just trying to help her at this point. I had no idea she was this fragile...... what the hell do I do?? Edited July 23, 2012 by Insanityshorse
Frank13 Posted July 23, 2012 Posted July 23, 2012 Begging you to hang out with her so she can tell you she is sleeping with a 52 year old guy. I know it would be pretty hard to stay NC for me knowing that's why she wanted to hang out.
salmagundi Posted July 23, 2012 Posted July 23, 2012 that would make NC pretty f&?king easy for me, to be honest...
Author Insanityshorse Posted July 26, 2012 Author Posted July 26, 2012 Gets better and better. The ex called me from Montana (she was out of town this week at her parents house). She tells me that what we talked about last Friday made sense and she told the 52 year old guy that she no longer wanted anything physical with him ( I can't help but think that might be a lie); however, today my friend of like 15 years who is a girl told me that right before she called me and begged me to come talk with her on Friday.... well she said that my ex asked her to come have a threesome with the 52 year old dude. This I cannot be okay with, that is a TOTAL lack of respect for me for her own selfish wants. I am done.... it was a good year when we were together and that is it from here out. Guess I dodged a ****ing bullet on this one.
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