M30USA Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 Ever notice how, unless someone is murderer, most people take their side and show sympathy on this forum? Especially with family members. By nature, family will always take the side of their own, no matter how lopsided. This supports my belief which says that biology trumps morality (for most people). They say there are 2 sides to every story. In my case, I guarantee you that my STBXW's family thinks I'm the bad guy even though I got assaulted and she went to jail. Somehow, I'm sure, even though I never touched her or deserved it, they probably are siding with her. Why? Because family and friendship trumps morality and truth. It saddens me to accept this reality. Therefore, what is the point of advice? It's all about where the advice comes from.
Ninja'sHusband Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 I dunno, I've seen a lot of threads where a WS posts and they get hammered. I've seen a few where the OP is both a WS and a BS and they get hammered. If you said that people here tend to agree with BS OPs then I'd agree. I think my FIL definitely sees me as the bad guy (I'm a BS) and I'm starting to think my MIL and SIL do too.
worldgonewrong Posted June 15, 2012 Posted June 15, 2012 It all comes down to the fact that the kicked-to-the-curb spouse RARELY gets a chance to tell his/her side of the story. The poison has been spread, you've been painted black, etc. ~shrug~ Eff 'em.
Steen719 Posted June 15, 2012 Posted June 15, 2012 It may be the circumstances for me (taking care of their brother), but my XH's family has actually been pretty nice to me. They haven't abandoned him, which of course is their decision and a good one, I think, but they have told him that they feel he was wrong in how he treated me and that they love me and think I was good for him. Some of them supported me leaving him and some have been in touch with me, occasionally. Even his best friend understood; tried to get me to stay, but understood. My family is less apt to see the good in him, but I still think they would help him if he had to have some help. However, that is because of how they are, not him.
K Os Posted June 15, 2012 Posted June 15, 2012 Interesting one, this. In general, I agree. In my case, my wife is the WS and has few family to turn to - 3 sisters, all far away in other countries. I've only had one phone conversation with one of them since the whole s~-storm started a year ago, and she was very friendly and vague. So I don't know what they think of me, but I'm sure it's not all good. I, however, have a very large extended family, all tight-knit and many within a 1-hour drive of my home. They've had weeks and months of my emotional outpourings, they're all thoroughly sick of her and can't wait for the inevitable divorce. Similarly, she has had minimal contact with all of them since the start of the chaos. One important effect that I know this has had is that she's been isolated by the family, they all support me, and while they say they hope she changes her mind, nobody's actually spoken to her for months. So yes, biology probably wins every time. That's why things get really difficult with the kids during a split - they're biological for both parties. P.S. not a murderer.
petterr Posted June 15, 2012 Posted June 15, 2012 My ex sisters still keep in touch with me! In their case bloods thicker then water but stupidity and cruelty overrides such behaviour! They support ex by simply being sisters but not her choice when it comes to us! They see her irradical new life style and resent it. Ex doesnt talk to them about us at all. They both think thats kind of strange after so many years! Guess they are worried about her and the info from me about how she treats me and kids make them even more worried. MLC gets the beat of everybody envolved I guess! Have never said anything negative about ex to sisters. Only told her actions. Guess thats important!
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