Onlyjonley Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 My friend keeps going for the same type of guy over and over: 1. Fairly attractive and outgoing. A flirt. All the girls love him. 2. In a grungy band of some sort. 3. No real plans or goals for the future. 4. She normally meets them by adding friends of friends of friends on facebook. So therefore, communication usually starts online. Her past 3 relationships have been with this type of guy, and each time the relationship has been a disaster. She was hurt badly by all 3. I tried to warn her of the red flags each time, but she wouldn't listen until it was too late. Now she is talking to a new guy with the SAME EXACT background. Why would she continue to follow this same pattern? What causes this? She is an awesome girl. Great morals and values, a good head on her shoulders, intelligent, etc. So I'm not understanding this.
WonderKid Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 Maybe she sees them as having a lot of fun? I could never really tell why either as I have a relative who does the same thing. She picks a lot of guys that have baggage. And EVERY ONE of them at least had their mom or dad die when they were younger.
Els Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 Well, to be fair to her, 3 isn't a huge number. There are all sorts of reasons relationships fail. The 4 points you mentioned may or may not have been the reasons for her previous failures. That being said, I think it's pretty common for humans to just automatically do the same thing over and over despite it not working, because that thing is what is easiest and/or most natural to them. There was a psychological term for it that I forget.
USMCHokie Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 If all the girls love him, and if she gets the guy, then in her mind, she's better than all the girls. Life's one big d*ck-measuring contest, and ego is a strong motivator. But that's just one possibility...
d'Arthez Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 That being said, I think it's pretty common for humans to just automatically do the same thing over and over despite it not working, because that thing is what is easiest and/or most natural to them. There was a psychological term for it that I forget. Insanity. 2
Stitch Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 Insanity. That's a quote isn't it? Insanity - Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. So for this situation it is pretty spot on! 1
d'Arthez Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 That's a quote isn't it? Insanity - Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. So for this situation it is pretty spot on! Yup - "Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." - Albert Einstein Love your avatar
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