ccmm9290 Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 So I met a wonderful guy Sept.2011 and we are still currently dating there has been alot of ups and downs due to his ex high school sweetheart causing drama and seeing her and lied and his family causing trouble.Then on my side I got guys texting me and emailing me flirting all the time and its always been hard for me to faithful but this time around I want to be. Well what he dont know about me is a lot he only knows lies i thought the truth would scare him off now i am so tired of trying to hide it. I am 20 years old (truth he knows) he knows my whole family. He thinks I am an RN (im a PCA) , he knows i was married and got seperated (he thinks i have gotten my divorce since then) , he knows my ex husband was in the army (he also thinks i was and i never was) . I dont want to loose him but i do dont want our relationship based on lies and i dont want him to leave me over it. Please dont bash me or say mean things I need advice this is serious
Balzac Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 A year into it if the guy cannot piece together discrepancies I say he's enabling your lies of omission. Seems to me you need to come clean. What did you gain by dishonesty?
WonderKid Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 You didn't gain anything positive by dishonesty. First and foremost, you need to be upfront and honest. Or it will become worse and you won't be living a lie but rather living apart. Second, you guys need to cut loose all those people affecting your relationship. He needs to axe out his HS sweetheart and you need to cut those guys off texting you. Until you break those negative contacts away, no matter how much you guys come to terms with being honest--those people outside your relationship with tear it right back apart.
Quiet Storm Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 I hate to say it, but I think it is a very real possibility that he will break up with you. If he does stay with you, he will likely have trust issues for a very long time. If I were you, I would get myself into therapy to try and figure out why you would do that. Small lies to avoid consequences are common. But you lied to him about things that probably wouldn't have even mattered to him (being a nurse, being in army). You also lied about huge issues (still being married). Compulsive lying can be a symptom of bigger problems and there may be medication available that could help you. Therapy could give you insight into your behavior, to help change your patterns in the future. So focus on you for awhile. It will be a much healthier relationship if you start new with someone else, without lies. The current guy, even if he forgives you, knows what you are capable of. This will be a huge roadblock to true intimacy. With a new guy, you can be honest from the beginning and have a relationship based in reality, and not on lies.
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