TheSingleGuy Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 Is there ever a time that the extroverted guy, the social butterfly, who knows people all over town, who has lots of friends, who always has something going on (party invites, etc)... Is there ever a time that this characteristic (extroverted personality) is not attractive to women? My gut feeling is that all women are attracted to the extrovert but find the introvert unattractive or less attractive. True or false.
serial muse Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 Is there ever a time that the extroverted guy, the social butterfly, who knows people all over town, who has lots of friends, who always has something going on (party invites, etc)... Is there ever a time that this characteristic (extroverted personality) is not attractive to women? My gut feeling is that all women are attracted to the extrovert but find the introvert unattractive or less attractive. True or false. Extroverts in general are preferred in our society. Such is life.
Mme. Chaucer Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 There are many women who are more attracted to introverts. I'm sure you know about the allure of the "tortured soul," the "dark brooding type," the poet/ artist. You know, it's possible to admire someone and find them attractive without having any desire to be their girlfriend. A social butterfly guy would not suit me at all; never would have, even though they can be great fun at parties.
Author TheSingleGuy Posted June 14, 2012 Author Posted June 14, 2012 Mme Chaucer, Help me understand. I'm connecting dots here. You find the extrovert more attractive, but you don't want an extrovert for a boyfriend because he is less likely to remain faithful? Or, perhaps, because he has more options available to him, you'd find your "power" in the relationship reduced as opposed to dating an introvert?
TigerCub Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 Is there ever a time that the extroverted guy, the social butterfly, who knows people all over town, who has lots of friends, who always has something going on (party invites, etc)... Is there ever a time that this characteristic (extroverted personality) is not attractive to women? My gut feeling is that all women are attracted to the extrovert but find the introvert unattractive or less attractive. True or false. Well if someone is social and has stuff going on - that makes them somewhat interesting (they got lots of stories & adventures) - so yeah, that makes them more appealing than a shy person that isn't into going out and trying different things. But that makes them appealing initially! That's it. My bf is an introvert and while he's not into going out and partying, he's into going out and doing more nature oriented things like camping and hiking and kayaking, so its never boring with him. If a girl is an extravert, she's most likely to be drawn to someone like her - adjusting and finding compromises with an introverted partner does actually take work. I'm sure that the opposite would apply as well - introverted girl might actually prefer an introverted guy because they would understand how the other functions easier.
jobaba Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 (edited) Is there ever a time that the extroverted guy, the social butterfly, who knows people all over town, who has lots of friends, who always has something going on (party invites, etc)... Is there ever a time that this characteristic (extroverted personality) is not attractive to women? My gut feeling is that all women are attracted to the extrovert but find the introvert unattractive or less attractive. True or false. Introvert and extrovert are so overused. It's so relative. It's a sliding scale ... Do women like the party guy who is 'on' all the time and out 5 nights a week? Some do yes. Do women like guy who is capable of getting in a crowd and mingling and holding his own, has several friends, but at times prefers to spend some Friday night alone? Some do yes. Do women like a guy who is shy and introverted and doesn't really speak up in groups and kind of is always in the background of things? I know a good number of guys like this, and the resounding answer is NO. Unless he is really good looking, then some gals will try anyway, but may give up if he's too introverted. But for the vast majority of guys like this, it will be very tough. Just for the record, I consider myself somewhere in the middle, maybe a 6. I don't go out that often, but when I do, I'm pretty social. Edited June 14, 2012 by jobaba 3
serial muse Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 Introvert and extrovert are so overused. It's so relative. It's a sliding scale ... Do women like the party guy who is 'on' all the time and out 5 nights a week? Some do yes. Do women like guy who is capable of getting in a crowd and mingling and holding his own but prefers to spend some Friday night alone? Some do yes. Good points. And for the record, yeah, I prefer door #2, personally. Mme Chaucer, Help me understand. I'm connecting dots here. You find the extrovert more attractive, but you don't want an extrovert for a boyfriend because he is less likely to remain faithful? Or, perhaps, because he has more options available to him, you'd find your "power" in the relationship reduced as opposed to dating an introvert? Not to answer for Madame, as she is fully capable of doing so herself - but I see what you did there. You changed her statement - "it's possible to find a guy attractive without wanting to date him" into "so you find him MORE attractive but don't want him for a boyfriend?" Where did that "more" come from? Wasn't in her original post.
RedFemale Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 Cash money are universally attractive to all women
Mme. Chaucer Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 Mme Chaucer, Help me understand. I'm connecting dots here. You find the extrovert more attractive, but you don't want an extrovert for a boyfriend because he is less likely to remain faithful? Or, perhaps, because he has more options available to him, you'd find your "power" in the relationship reduced as opposed to dating an introvert? Very clumsy attempt at twisting what I said, SingleGuy. Not at all. First, I don't find extroverts "more" attractive. I said that I could find them attractive. But you knew this. I don't think an extrovert is less likely to remain faithful, though a person who tends towards cheating would not be a candidate for a boyfriend for any self respecting girl / woman, whether he's an extravert or not. And a person who chooses a mate because they want to have more power than the other person … has problems. You know, it's possible to admire people and their characteristics, whether that's physical beauty, social graces, accomplishments, without feeling like making them your bf / gf.
january2011 Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 I agree with Jobaba regarding the sliding scale. His rough distinctions between the major groups, pretty much align with how I feel about this issue. I'd find it difficult to be with someone whose behaviour frequently sat at either of the two extremes and I'd prefer someone in the middle, where I think I'm also located - a recent MBTI test pretty much confirmed that I only swing a few points towards introversion.
Feelsgoodman Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 I'm sure you know about the allure of the "tortured soul," the "dark brooding type," the poet/ artist. I don't believe such an allure exists anymore...though it may have existed among the past generations. The modern society values being social above anything else. The "strong silent type" is very much out of style.
Mme. Chaucer Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 I don't believe such an allure exists anymore...though it may have existed among the past generations. The modern society values being social above anything else. The "strong silent type" is very much out of style. I guess I just like that type because I'm so old, then. Really, though, my daughter likes guys like that too.
WhiteChocolate Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 I like guys who are strong and silent on the exterior but kind, open about their emotions, and fluffy within Is that out of style?
Stitch Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 I'm not interested in extroverts. As an introvert myself, I don't enjoy loud busy places, and prefer smaller social get togethers. I think I'd be pretty incompatible with an extroverted man. So no its not a universally attractive trait. I like introverted men. Sign me up for the quieter, thoughtful man camp. My boyfriend is quiet and bookish, he is sweet and the genuine good guy. We've been together for just under 4 years now. 3
Els Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 I would wager that more women prefer extroverts than introverts. There really is no single universal attractive trait though. I personally find introverts more attractive. Being introverted is NOT the same as being socially awkward or stunted. Many introverts are perfectly capable of good, fulfilling relationships with a small circle of close people whom they know well. And that's my sort of guy. Social butterfly would just not mesh with me.
verhrzn Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 I'm not interested in extroverts. As an introvert myself, I don't enjoy loud busy places, and prefer smaller social get togethers. I think I'd be pretty incompatible with an extroverted man. So no its not a universally attractive trait. I like introverted men. Sign me up for the quieter, thoughtful man camp. My boyfriend is quiet and bookish, he is sweet and the genuine good guy. We've been together for just under 4 years now. Co-signed.
Els Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 I'm not interested in extroverts. As an introvert myself, I don't enjoy loud busy places, and prefer smaller social get togethers. I think I'd be pretty incompatible with an extroverted man. So no its not a universally attractive trait. I like introverted men. Sign me up for the quieter, thoughtful man camp. My boyfriend is quiet and bookish, he is sweet and the genuine good guy. We've been together for just under 4 years now. Wow, you sound like me to a T! Quiet, bookish guys can be really amazing, yep.
stillafool Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 Mme Chaucer, Help me understand. I'm connecting dots here. You find the extrovert more attractive, but you don't want an extrovert for a boyfriend because he is less likely to remain faithful? Or, perhaps, because he has more options available to him, you'd find your "power" in the relationship reduced as opposed to dating an introvert? I think extroverted men can be fun to party with but a loud man would never turn me on sexually. I think men who are quiet and mysterious looking are sexy.
pteromom Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 Balance is really important to me. I wouldn't want someone who is all about being social. He would have to also enjoy peace and quiet. In social situations, I usually notice the quiet guys who are smiling and having a good time, but aren't the center of attention.
luvinthesun Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 Is there ever a time that the extroverted guy, the social butterfly, who knows people all over town, who has lots of friends, who always has something going on (party invites, etc)... Is there ever a time that this characteristic (extroverted personality) is not attractive to women? My gut feeling is that all women are attracted to the extrovert but find the introvert unattractive or less attractive. True or false. I dont think I am necessarily attracted to this type of guy. I mean- I dont want him to be so shy he cant speak either...
GravityMan Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 I think about 60% of women are extroverted, and most extroverts prefer to connect with other extroverts. So while it's hardly a universal sign of attraction, it's probably true that a majority of women prefer extroverted men. Extroverts of either gender tend to be better liked, respected and successful than introverts.
Bristolius Posted June 15, 2012 Posted June 15, 2012 Everyone is responding as if extrovert = gregarious and introvert = shy. Another usage of the terms is that extroverts are energized by socializing and introverts find it draining. If you see someone being outgoing and friendly they could still be introverts. 2
2sure Posted June 15, 2012 Posted June 15, 2012 I am more of an extrovert, I guess from the way OP described , in that I am socially...well, to me it's involved a bit too much. But when a guy is an extrovert in the way OP described...typically they are my gay friends. I like men to be outgoing, like I am. I also prefer , for lack of a better term, A type men which can be either extroverts or introverts I believe. Comfortable and Confident is the key. Not charm, not height, not invitations.
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