D-Lish Posted June 15, 2012 Posted June 15, 2012 Maybe you missed the part of her post that read that he completely neglects his animals, thats why the cat died, she does most of the cleanup, and he shows no love towards the cats? That he gets angry when his family tries to talk to him about his (animal hoarding?) problem? Whatever his problem is, it has nothing to do with animals. It doesnt seem like he is feeling any anxiety about the animals when he neglects them so badly. Funny she didn't say such a thing until people confronted her about her selfish disposition. I would have included that information in my initial post to support my situation. Just saying... The same guy that wants his cats sleeping in his bed and goes out of his way to ensure they are inside and safe isn't likely to allow an animal to die in its cage.
Eddie Edirol Posted June 15, 2012 Posted June 15, 2012 The same guy that wants his cats sleeping in his bed and goes out of his way to ensure they are inside and safe isn't likely to allow an animal to die in its cage. But he DID allow the animal to die, outside the apt. And the others are sick, and need to go to the vet. Its in her posts, just sayin...
Author luvinthesun Posted June 15, 2012 Author Posted June 15, 2012 But he DID allow the animal to die, outside the apt. And the others are sick, and need to go to the vet. Its in her posts, just sayin... The cats do need to go to the get. The one has an eye issue in both eyes. Bf said it was from when cat was little the forbear was scratched... but they are both red and oozing and trusty... sorry to be graphic. I don't have the money to take the cat. His family gets on him because of the.living conditions ... which they said have improved greatly since dating me. I am sure they don't know he is bringing the cats inside to sleep with us ... him. I do understand he doesn't want to change whatever sleeping habits he would have when beginning to date someone ... but this was not the case until recently ... yes... when his car died... and yes I do understand his guilty feelings. He did agree after a certain time at night. But it isn't worth the effort anymore. He can sleep with his cats and clean up after him and them. The cat died because he was really old ... bf discovered him sick in cafe and took to vet. He was terminal but bf wanted to try and keep cat alive. He even took car for second opinion. He still tried to keep cat alive. I tried to do what was needed ... that he asked. It was hard at times ... forcing pills and food into cat and watching him suffer. Bf took days off work. Bf found cat about hour after I had left ... as couldn't stay too long that day... cat had jumped off his bed and broken back. I met him at vets and he put cat to sleep. Had him cremated.He spent about 2k trying keep cat alive. His family also had words over this situation ... and tried talking with me ... which I did share their concerns. I do think bf is passive aggressive towards me about it and somewhat blames me.
simplicitydating Posted June 15, 2012 Posted June 15, 2012 I cant imagine a guy sleeping with cats than with a LADY..
Eddie Edirol Posted June 15, 2012 Posted June 15, 2012 (edited) The cat died because he was really old ... bf discovered him sick in cafe and took to vet. He was terminal but bf wanted to try and keep cat alive. He even took car for second opinion. He still tried to keep cat alive. I tried to do what was needed ... that he asked. It was hard at times ... forcing pills and food into cat and watching him suffer. Bf took days off work. Bf found cat about hour after I had left ... as couldn't stay too long that day... cat had jumped off his bed and broken back. I met him at vets and he put cat to sleep. Had him cremated.He spent about 2k trying keep cat alive. His family also had words over this situation ... and tried talking with me ... which I did share their concerns. I do think bf is passive aggressive towards me about it and somewhat blames me. Hmm, ok that paints a different picture. Did he neglect the cat up until the point where he discovered the cat was sick, and then spent the money taking it to the vet? Did your bf pay any attention to the cats while they are running around when you are trying to sleep? Did he pay attention to you at all before the cat died? WHy would he blame you for the cat dying? Did he change his behavior towards you after the cat was put down? Does he have a thing for collecting ferral cats? Was this a recent thing of his? Did he have a bad breakup before you and took in cats to cope? Edited June 15, 2012 by Eddie Edirol
Author luvinthesun Posted June 15, 2012 Author Posted June 15, 2012 Hmm, ok that paints a different picture. Did he neglect the cat up until the point where he discovered the cat was sick, and then spent the money taking it to the vet? Did your bf pay any attention to the cats while they are running around when you are trying to sleep? No. Did he pay attention to you at all before the cat died? Yes. Like normal bf. WHy would he blame you for the cat dying? I couldn't cat sit anymore and had leave before he got home work. Apparently cat tried get down from bed... had gotten up own ... but would pee it and really did not move during final days. Couldn't breath. I don't know how long cat was on floor with broken back..is what bf said. Did he change his behavior towards you after the cat was put down? Yes. He said I could have done more ... and his inside car got shut in bedroom when we went out and said I was trying to kill her...? No air conditioning on in there ... but it was 72 that day out. Does he have a thing for collecting ferral cats? Was this a recent thing of his? Apparently yes. But not while together. Did he have a bad breakup before you and took in cats to cope? I don't know? I mean he was single about 2 yrs.
Arabella Posted June 15, 2012 Posted June 15, 2012 I love my cat to death, but I would never force a lover to put up with him when we're sleeping, unless they really just don't mind. My ex-fiance loved the cat as well and encouraged him to sleep in our bed. However, I recently had a new man in my bed and the cat jumped on it, clearly intending on settling down for the night. I didn't even ask if he was okay with it, I picked up the kitty and set him outside, then closed the door. Loving cats is one thing, but putting them above (reasonable) people is an entirely different one. There is always a compromise that can be reached, and I don't think your boyfriend is doing that. His behavior, especially considering the condition the cats (and him!) live in, is definitely NOT okay. -A
Author luvinthesun Posted June 15, 2012 Author Posted June 15, 2012 I love my cat to death, but I would never force a lover to put up with him when we're sleeping, unless they really just don't mind. My ex-fiance loved the cat as well and encouraged him to sleep in our bed. However, I recently had a new man in my bed and the cat jumped on it, clearly intending on settling down for the night. I didn't even ask if he was okay with it, I picked up the kitty and set him outside, then closed the door. Loving cats is one thing, but putting them above (reasonable) people is an entirely different one. There is always a compromise that can be reached, and I don't think your boyfriend is doing that. His behavior, especially considering the condition the cats (and him!) live in, is definitely NOT okay. -A I agree- sometimes when you have to ask ... it is too late already ... but I try to give him the fact that his one cat died 2 months ago. He was mindful in the beginning. BF was mindful and would put cat in spare bedroom so we could watch a movie- etc. And the cat did not sleep with us ... but gradually that started to change. I assumed if he saw I had to go to the couch or just get out of bed at 6 am...because of 4 cats he would do something. At least apologize. But he does get up sometimes as he fears they will kill each other - when it is really nuts and they are fighting. He got a pretty good gushing scratch.
Author luvinthesun Posted June 28, 2012 Author Posted June 28, 2012 Just wanted to update ... The inside cat...old and sickly..got a tick. More than likely from the outside cats being brought in. The cat was sick ... How Bf discovered it. Taking cat to vet. I have also had a tick on me there...so again...defobitely a health issue with the cats in the bed...not to mention the eye issue on the one. Hopefully Bf is going yo realize this on his own...
Snakechammah Posted June 28, 2012 Posted June 28, 2012 I'm a little confused. In your original post you said BF had never brought his cats to the vet. Then on another post, he's spent 2K on vets for the sick cat that had died. Which is it? Has he taken them to the vet... or not? In fact, you said you met him at the vets.... I'm so confused. It seems like he DOES care about the cats. It doesn't match up that he is neglecting them when he brings them in for the night, and seems so protective about them. Cats are adorable. I'm an advocate for animals and believe they deserve respect. Such love for our pets (even if they were treated as kids or otherwise) can only be understood by a fellow pet owner. Whatever it is, it doesn't seem like your BF is treating you with respect. I hope you can speak to him about the situation. Good luck. PS: While you're at it, please tell him the cats need proper nutrition and not table scraps. GOOD QUALITY CAT FOOD, please. And there are countless of flea shampoo in the market today. Not forgetting probiotics, vitamins, catnip toys... and the list goes on. If he loves his cats, please love them properly.
Author luvinthesun Posted June 28, 2012 Author Posted June 28, 2012 He took the dying cat to the vet...yes. the cat was 19 and had congestive heart failure...12 oz fluid in lungs and unable to eat, breath, go.in litter box. Bf took that cat to two vets who said pet to sleep...but Bf chose not too...and was looking into cleaningc poo from cat and fluid. Cat suffered parlisis forunknown reason and Bf finally put to sleep. Other cats...no vet care. One has serious pink eyes ...crusties and another feral...amother grossly overweight with sagging back. The outside cats are in a kennel...cage. poo is everywhere and it smells b ad. Also has kenneled fog. Same situation. I have bathed dog several times...
Author luvinthesun Posted June 28, 2012 Author Posted June 28, 2012 He us taking indoor cat vet tommprrow. Shakes her head and fluid coming out and white mucus eye. I think this cat is 18 years old or so. Bf thinks brain tumor from sideways head tilt. Plus cat had tick. I'm sure Bf loves his cats...he just works 13 hours ...making up for lasy vet bills...and tge cats get the better of him peekng and poo all over and such. He just can't keep up i guess. I just don't want share the bed with all that fi .ghting .ing animals without vaccinations and crust eyes. I have enough health issues.
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