luvinthesun Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 My boyfriend and I have pretty much a great relationship. The only issue is his 4 cats. 3 outside 1 inside One that recently died. Following the (outside) cat's death- bf now brings all cats inside after work ... and to sleep with us. The cats do not have their shots, one has a serious eye issue ... and I don't know when the last time they were at the vet was? It turns into WW3 all night long. I can't sleep. If I get up - bf gets mad. He also lets em in when we have sex/get naked. I have tried to address this- and he has put em out the door once. BF will not stay over at my place- as I have room-mates. It is a battle to even get here when I have place to myself/others on a vacation. He has stayed at my place once this year. I have stayed there prob 70 times. A few weeks ago- bf agreed that after a certain time at night- cats were going back outside. But he doesn't do it and turns into a three year old with excuses when I mention- hey it is midnight ... cats ... He has even brought the cats in after the time we agreed on. Since that happened ... I told bf I wasn't coming over anymore to stay over unless he addressed the situation. He says fine. I can stay home. Obviously he would rather sleep with his cats than me- right?
RedFemale Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 Well, you know what they say, 4 p*ssy cats are better than one..... I have a cat and they are like kids to people who have them, so of course he will put kids before you, a plane old GF. Cats live with us for 15-18 years...GFs come and go.... 1
TigerCub Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 The thing that bugs me about your bf is that he has all these cats and he can't even bother to take care of them right and take them to the vet - that pisses me off. Now as far as the letting the cats in thing - I agree with him. As another poster said, pets are like kids to people and they came before you, so he's not going to shun them for you. I wouldn't choose a bf over my cat, she came first, she's my kid and we're a package deal, take it or leave it. Also, in your bf's case, he just had one of his cats die - he's feeling really protective of the rest and is completely aware of how limited their time on earth is. He's trying to overcompensate or at least heal by having the other cats around. How long have you been with your bf? 2
Emilia Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 The thing that bugs me about your bf is that he has all these cats and he can't even bother to take care of them right and take them to the vet - that pisses me off. Now as far as the letting the cats in thing - I agree with him. As another poster said, pets are like kids to people and they came before you, so he's not going to shun them for you. I wouldn't choose a bf over my cat, she came first, she's my kid and we're a package deal, take it or leave it. Also, in your bf's case, he just had one of his cats die - he's feeling really protective of the rest and is completely aware of how limited their time on earth is. He's trying to overcompensate or at least heal by having the other cats around. How long have you been with your bf? f*** me OP, this is why a lot of people won't date anyone who has more than one cat. It tends to be the indication of someone's mental health. I'd say run for the hills.
irin Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 what do you mean inside and outside, inside the house or his bedroom?
RedFemale Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 Having more than one cat does not mean you are mental. I bet you got your PHD is medicin from a jack in a box, Ms expert.
Emilia Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 Having more than one cat does not mean you are mental. I bet you got your PHD is medicin from a jack in a box, Ms expert. I think it does and I hate to break it to you but a lot of people share this view, including a vast majority of men 1
TigerCub Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 f*** me OP, this is why a lot of people won't date anyone who has more than one cat. It tends to be the indication of someone's mental health. I'd say run for the hills. why did you have to quote my post to say that? I never said that hording cats was healthy, but in general, imo, if someone has a pet, why should they shun that pet for a person they are dating. I'm assuming the pet came before that person, and that person knew about the pet, so why have to choose between the pet and the gf/bf?
RedFemale Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 (edited) I think it does and I hate to break it to you but a lot of people share this view, including a vast majority of men Most people are sheep and idiots and most earth population can't even read. So yes, you took a servery of all 7.5 billion people and most of them think having more than one cat is mental.....and they them selves base that on what...hear say? "crazy cat lady" was created as a stereotype of sort, also notice LADY not crazy cat Gentleman or guy.... Also, people who don't like cats are controlling, so as you, no wonder single life is so vast... Edited June 14, 2012 by RedFemale
serial muse Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 Does your BF live in one room? Why can't he let them in the house/apartment but not the bedroom? And - geez, people, this is not about the multiple cats, it's about the fact that she can't sleep with them all in the bedroom, and that her BF is apparently very controlling, because he gets mad when she gets up. Blech. Um. Also. Is this username70? http://www.loveshack.org/forums/#post4052030 Because if so, I know we were all hoping you'd already broken it off with this guy.
AlexDP Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 Having more than one cat does not mean you are mental. I bet you got your PHD is medicin from a jack in a box, Ms expert. But your chances rise exponentially. I know more than one crazy cat lady.
TigerCub Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 Does your BF live in one room? Why can't he let them in the house/apartment but not the bedroom? And - geez, people, this is not about the multiple cats, it's about the fact that she can't sleep with them all in the bedroom, and that her BF is apparently very controlling, because he gets mad when she gets up. Blech. Um. Also. Is this username70? http://www.loveshack.org/forums/#post4052030 Because if so, I know we were all hoping you'd already broken it off with this guy. I actually forgot about that part - yes, the controlling bit and getting upset if OP gets up is complete bull****.
RedFemale Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 he may be a controlling ass, but the point is, cats are awesome! 1
Els Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 Urghhh. I don't understand treating animals as humans, to be honest. Not only does it do all your interpersonal relationships a disfavor, it does the animals a disfavor by coddling them like babies. Animals should be allowed to be animals. They shouldn't be kept inside the house all day, they shouldn't be protected from any possibility of having their own adventures outside because you don't want them to come to any harm, and they don't HAVE to sleep in the same room as their owners! I know people who keep lovely, healthy cats (that they actually bring to the vet regularly for checkups, unlike your bf), and they have a cat-door in the main door so the cats can come in and out of the house as they please, but the bedroom is off-limits for them. Why can't he just get them a nice kitty chamber in the living room to sleep in instead? 1
RedFemale Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 People treated other humans like animals for centuries and even today we have slaves, so why can't we treat animals like humans?
Els Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 Nobody's saying that you 'can't'. I simply pity your animals and the people you know if you do.
RedFemale Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 No one here needs your pity, Ms precious perfect.
Author luvinthesun Posted June 14, 2012 Author Posted June 14, 2012 he may be a controlling ass, but the point is, cats are awesome! I like the cats. I just can't sleep with all of them. Three are - and have always been - outside - so they don't really don't have indoor behavure. We do not live together. BF agreed sleeping situation is horrible and agreed on time to put them back in their outside cat house. He actually never paid attention to the one that recently died. (Outside.) At night, I will (and he) awaken to biting, clawing, jumping, purring, licking (face, privates, or on my pillow/face. They also fight, hiss, yowl/growl/howl, run. The one scratches at things at night and gets into things. I did even offer to buy them pet beds or make them like the ones I made them for outside. I also clean up their vomit/pee and clean the sheets/ vacuum lots. I have tried to get bf to sleep where they are- as I get the brunt of it. The one got shut in the bedroom one day when we went out and bf accused me of trying to kill them. ??? No A/C on in 72 degree day. And BTW- I can not correct the cats. I trip over them constantly when I open the fridge (bf feeds em table scraps) and bf says I don't know how to walk with cats in the house. ??? If I had 4 kids- as others might see pets as kids I would at least: -not have them living outside like they do -get them to the doctor -discuss bringing my 4 children into my bed with my partner -be mindful of their behavure Just windering what others have done?
serial muse Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 I like the cats. I just can't sleep with all of them. Three are - and have always been - outside - so they don't really don't have indoor behavure. We do not live together. BF agreed sleeping situation is horrible and agreed on time to put them back in their outside cat house. He actually never paid attention to the one that recently died. (Outside.) At night, I will (and he) awaken to biting, clawing, jumping, purring, licking (face, privates, or on my pillow/face. They also fight, hiss, yowl/growl/howl, run. The one scratches at things at night and gets into things. I did even offer to buy them pet beds or make them like the ones I made them for outside. I also clean up their vomit/pee and clean the sheets/ vacuum lots. I have tried to get bf to sleep where they are- as I get the brunt of it. The one got shut in the bedroom one day when we went out and bf accused me of trying to kill them. ??? No A/C on in 72 degree day. And BTW- I can not correct the cats. I trip over them constantly when I open the fridge (bf feeds em table scraps) and bf says I don't know how to walk with cats in the house. ??? If I had 4 kids- as others might see pets as kids I would at least: -not have them living outside like they do -get them to the doctor -discuss bringing my 4 children into my bed with my partner -be mindful of their behavure Just windering what others have done? You didn't answer my questions: 1. Does your BF live in one room? 2. Why can't he let them in the house/apartment but not the bedroom? [snip] Um. Also. 3. Is this username70? http://www.loveshack.org/forums/#post4052030 Because if so, I know we were all hoping you'd already broken it off with this guy.
RedFemale Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 You must agree though, that your soon to be ex BF has little respect for you and is selfish on border line narcissistic. Let me ask you this. Does he make you feel good about your self and world around you? If not, he is not the right guy for you.
Author luvinthesun Posted June 14, 2012 Author Posted June 14, 2012 Originally Posted by serial muse 1. Does your BF live in one room? No. 2. Why can't he let them in the house/apartment but not the bedroom? BF has not offered. I think- because they will fight - especially with the inside (mean/territorial) cat. (3 of the cats are very old.) They will also claw at the bottom of the door/shake it. Or could vomit/spray/pee all over rather than in one room. [snip] Um. Also. 3. Is this username70? http://www.loveshack.org/forums/#post4052030 No. Because if so, I know we were all hoping you'd already broken it off with this guy.
Author luvinthesun Posted June 14, 2012 Author Posted June 14, 2012 You must agree though, that your soon to be ex BF has little respect for you and is selfish on border line narcissistic. Let me ask you this. Does he make you feel good about your self and world around you? If not, he is not the right guy for you. Sometimes. My bf just says he loves his cats. How they have been with him the longest in his life/always there for him. All I can do is not stay there.
piggyoink Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 People treated other humans like animals for centuries and even today we have slaves, so why can't we treat animals like humans? I tend to think that, if the cats are a significant problem, she's free to leave.
RedFemale Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 Now we are getting someplace. She has no right to blame everything on cats and her BF, since she is choosing to stay under these conditions. By staying, she shows to him that it's OK. So he gets angry when she starts complaining about it, understandable. By staying out of her free will, she signs a contract that says that whatever is taking place she is fine with it. By signing this contract and this signature is valid for as long as she is with him, she has no right to complain about it, at all. 1
WonderKid Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 There is no philosophy or anything behind this. The guy is crazy. You have the pussy. Ain't no way I'm gonna choose my cats over a woman willing to sleep with me. I would kick them the hell out the room. I still do it to my cat today. Just leave him alone. Think about it, what if you were allergic? Would he still even care? When you kick your cats out the room you're not shunning them or anything. They have an entire house to lay around and play about. What's wrong with you and your partner having your own space at night?
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