soonerfan77 Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 (edited) This may be long, but I will break it down into smaller paragraphs to make it easier. Background: I am a 35 year old male never married with no kids. I have only had 2 serious relationships. One when I was 20 that lasted 1.5 years and one that just ended after 1.5 years. She is a 34 year old female with 3 kids. I work with her ex husband which made things very awkward. He was cheating on her and moved on. Well two weeks later she sent me a facebook friend request and I accepted. I found it odd and suspected she wanted information. She did start to ask stuff about her husbands affair, but just small stuff as she already knew he cheated. About a week later she met another guy off facebook from high school. A week after they were friends I saw he was in a relationship on facebook. This same day I saw this I went to my gf house and overheard her say on the phone "well I hope I'm not a rebound situation for you too." She said she was talking to her sister about a scenario, but I knew who it was. She finally admitted a month later it was him. I knew she cheated on me but buried it. The next day I saw them at Wal Mart together and I broke it off. I vowed to cut contact with her, but she contacted me two days later and we began to talk again. The next 5-6 months or so were bad. This guys was over quite a bit. I was over there quite a bit as well. He lived with her for a few weeks. She said he needed a place to stay. He was staying with parents and his brother. He only stayed 3 weeks but him over off and on only lasted from December 2010 til mid March 2011. After this time I suspected nothing. Also, I had suspicions she was trying to get her ex husband of 15 years back too. He came over in front of us two and asked her if I knew they were still having sex and he wanted to know if I wanted to see the hotel receipt. Also, she would at times tell her ex husband stuff I said and that would cause drama. She only did this a few times. He told me that she cheated on him at least 3-4 times during the 15 years. I have heard this out where I work as well so it could be correct. Anyway, December 2010 to March of 2011 was rough. We have dated off & on since March of 2011 and at times things were very good. I didn't want her to meet my parents or a best friend of mine because the shame I felt that they knew she cheated on me. This always bothered her and I don't blame her. It upset her I didn't want to get more serious. I didn't have an issue with her kids. In this period of time last March 2011 til now I really cared for her. I would say horrible stuff to her at times cause I couldn't get over the cheating. She would go back and forth saying she was with him and that she wasn't with him. Not the ex husband the other guy. I got caught into the trap of having somebody to enjoy time with and do stuff with. The sex wasn't great so that isn't why I stuck arouond. I kept thinking I could forgive the past and that my strong emotions would come back from a year and a half ago before she cheated but they never did. I can say I don't think I loved her after that. I kept thinking I could get over it but never could. Things between her and I were off and on the last year and at times really good. During this time I didn't suspect any cheating etc. Back to present. I joked with her about this 50 year old guy that liked all her stuff on facebook. The day before Memorial day I took her to Wal Mart as her car was broke and later that afternoon and evening I couldn't get a hold of her. She said her phone was messed up and yes her phone was a POS. Now we weren't dating at this time, but still irritated me. Come to find out I checked her facebook and her and this guy were listed as in a relationship two days after I took her to wal mart and told me she love me, held my hand, etc. I went back a week later and they were ENGAGED. I contacted her and asked her WTF was going on and he was reading her facebook. She called and wouldn't EVER answer any of my question cause he was there. I sent her one final e-mail 5 days ago and haven't contacted her since and will not. I blocked her from facebook. She has a new phone number and is now living with this guy. I don't want her back, but why am I upset and crying at times? I was fine not talking to her before I found out she moved on, but since I found out she moved on a week ago I am a mess. I know it's because I miss having somebody to talk to and maybe I am still emotionally attached to her. I can say I DON'T want to be in a relationship with her. We just don't mesh well. She did nothing wrong by hooking up with this guy, but so soon really hurts. A week after they met she was referring to him as the kids daddy, etc. She has some major mental issues. She meets guys and withing a week are in love with them etc. Why do I miss her when I don't really want her? Guess I am just searching for answers. Sorry this is so long, but many will get a kick out of it. Why do women move in and get engaged with somebody they only met a week earlier. I am pretty sure they haven't seen each other before as I was with her all the time and they have only bene friends on facebook for about a month before they met. I assume they have been talking on facebook though. But within a week she is engaged living with this guy that is 50 and she is 35? I think she wants so hard to have somebody a daddy. She can't be alone. Any feedback is appreciated. I don't think her being 35 and him 50 is an issue, but just adds to part of the strange story. I am 35 too and if I met a 50 year old I liked it wouldn't stop me. So I am not dissing relationships with age gaps, but it does just add some strangeness to the story. Edited June 14, 2012 by soonerfan77 change
Philosoraptor Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 She is hurting horribly from the end of her marriage and jumping around and trying to stick to anything that holds her. She's been doing everything she possibly could to escape her pain. Your issue seems to be more that your pride was stung. You don't want her but I'd gamble you're a bit jealous that she picked someone over you. She likely told you a lot of things and expressed a lot of feelings towards you, sucked you in, and spit you out. Not uncommon at all for someone in her position.
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