looking for input

[budley12]

we were together almost 3years, were each others firsts. BU was 7months ago, and stayed NC for almost 5months.

 

Does anyone have any input as to why my ex would do this? It just doesnt add up:

 

ex texted back to a text I sent and he said he wanted to talk but was busy that night (which we have yet to talk)

he sent me a friend request on facebook

but then ignored my birthday? -I know he didnt "forget"

 

**this was all during the same week as well

 

and I was also wondering if him requesting to be my facebook friend was his way of saying "I made this move, now its your turn". I never acknowledged that we are facebook friends. Do you think he is waiting for me to make the next move and possibly call? It really upset me that he couldnt even wish me happy birthday so I think I should just let it all go and see if he does eventually contact. I am just trying to figure out what he is thinking.

Edited June 14, 2012 by budley12

[AlexanderJames]

People end relationships for any number of reasons. The most important thing is not to blame yourself, and not to blame him.

You guys didn't work for whatever reason, dont focus on the why but the what. Wondering what if will keep you hanging on and unable to move past it. Instead try reminding yourself that you didnt work and that youll find the person that deserves your affenction in due time.

 

As for his actions no one can really accurately answer it. Maybe he's feeling lonely and its easy to talk to you because the intimate history is there, maybe he's in need of a booty call, maybe he misses you.

But whatever the reason you must understand that he broke up with you because he was unhappy, and if you were meant to be together you would still be together now.

Its very difficult being your first break up, Its a very daunting and dangerous experience. The important thing to remember is to spend as much time with friends and people who make you feel important and instill a sense of self worth. The big killers in a break up are Blaming yourself, Focussing on all the good memories and forgetting that there was bad, feeling like you wont be good enough for anyone else and feeling like you are destined to be alone. But remind yourself that its not the case.

 

Try writing down all the things you can think of that you didnt like about the ex. Read them when your feeling sad. Bad teeth, snored, selfish. focussing on these things will remind you that it wasnt all picture perfect, and that you are capable of finding someone better.

 

The first ones always the hardest, but it does get easier. No one likes to hear it but time heals all wounds. I really hope you start feeling better soon and start taking big steps in the right direction. Good luck.

[AlexanderJames]

That said, dont take his contacting you as a sign of wanting you back. Keep working on moving on and living for yourself.

My ex made it clear she didnt want me, yet she kept contacting me until the point that I said I cant talk to you anymore goodbye. And ive never felt stronger.

If he wants to reconcile then its vital that you wait until HE comes to you and initiates it. Dont assume its what hes doing. Wait until he's made it crystal clear, if he pours his heart out to you in apology and declares his love for you, then consider taking him back. But you might find that after a little time to yourself and after coming to terms with the situation that you dont even want to go back.

Focus on moving on, and love yourself for a while, be selfish you deserve it. Cross the I want you back bridge when and if you come to it. Thats what I'm doing right now so your definately not alone here.