fellowes7892000 Posted June 30, 2004 Posted June 30, 2004 Hi all, please help me: my girlfriend & I of 2 years broke up. She could say she loved me after about 6 months, but I couldn't. she waited until about 3 months ago and I finally said it, but by then she was so convinced I would never say it she had talked herself out of it. She didn't love me anymore. She ended it but after a week apart we talked about it and she agreed we should try to work on it. 2 weeks later she got drunk and kissed a guy who was moving in on her for ages. She told him straight away it was a mistake and then told me straight away. I totally forgive her but she obviously doesn't forgive herself and says that it must have meant she could never love me again. I can see in her eyes that she still likes me but she says that she can't get back together with me because it's too hard and too messy, and she doesn't think she can ever love me again. I've told her I still love her and forgive her but she can't make herself do it. She has noted all different reasons at various stages 1. It would be too hard, 2. she doesn't love me anymore, 3. She is in a messed up place, 4.she needs to know that she doesn't have to depend on me to make her feel good (she has struggled with depression).It's killing me, and I don't want her to be getting depressed again. Do I keep fighting for her or just get over it? I truly thought she was the one. She did too once and I really think she can love me again., Unfortunatley we've now been apart for about a month and every time we've talked I've totally broken down and it's ended up with me almost begging her back. I hate it. I really try to respect her decision but it's so hard because she always focusses on the negatives, and I'm worried I've forever lost the girl I am in love with. help please ???
emma123 Posted June 30, 2004 Posted June 30, 2004 I'm going through something similar my self right now and it does hurt. My advice to you would be to give her time and space. If u do talk try not to talk much about getting back(i know that is much easier said than done coz thats proberbley the only thing on your mind) I find myself talking to my ex about getting back together but it really doesn't help matters. I also think it is possible for her to love u again. I can understand her feeling how she does about that kiss. I did the same to my boyfriend. i felt confused about my feelings for him. Now i know I do love him and i regret doing what i did. I'm going 2 give him time to sort his head out. stay friends n have a laugh together even on the phone have a nice conversation. don't go on about getting back with her or she will start to dread the phone ringing. Tell her u realize she doesn't want to get back right now. but you want to be friends. Try n have fun together. Be there for her until her heads a bit clearer. I hope it works out.
jw32802 Posted July 5, 2004 Posted July 5, 2004 were you not sure about your love till u broke up? how long were you broken up before you realized it?
emma123 Posted July 5, 2004 Posted July 5, 2004 I don't think u realise what u have till u'v lost it. while u have it u take it for granted n just think they will always be there. So it doesn't mater if u dont try that hard but of course if u dont try, don't consider there feelings, they won't be there forever coz people can only take so much. I think u realise that u love the other person when you'v had some time appart n had time to think about it.
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