Am I still caught up with her because she was my first girlfriend?

[GreenSeed334]

Simple question. I only had one real girlfriend ever, lost my virginity to her also. I kissed other girls before but she was the first one I really made out with and ect. We were together for 1 1/2 years. I ended up breaking up with her because I was not happy and I did not feel like I was truly in love or ever really will be. She did love me but was unhappy because I was unhappy.

 

When I left, she ended up going back to her ex. Which made me jealous, and for those few months we did not talk, I never bothered to find someone else. Or even try. Girls randomly talked to me but I always shrug them off because I felt I was not over my first or that they would ever come close to her.

 

My ex eventually ended it with her ex and I am talking to her again. Even though I somehow still know she is not really what I want I still somehow want to be with her. I guess it might be because I never cared about any other girl or think anyone else will love me as much as she did. I mean its not that I don't think I can get another girlfriend, its that I think none of them will give me the feeling she did and I will always somehow want her even if I really don't. And that she will be the only one that will ever give me those high "butterfly" feelings, and every other girl is just someone I will only like and thats it.

 

Is this normal to feel like this? I am still in my early 20's and have not much experience with other relationships lol..sorry if I sounded stupid.

Edited June 13, 2012 by GreenSeed334

[shammysheldon]

You dont sound stupid at all, it took me months of contacting and then ignoring my ex before I realised other guys can give me butterflt feelings, not just him

 

He was also my first kiss/boyfriend ect and we endd up getting engaged. I broke it off due to all the lies and deciet yet still wanted him back.

 

I am now finally over him and can happily date others knowing that soon I will get those exciting feelings again