Shaun-Dro Posted June 13, 2012 Posted June 13, 2012 Yea, she wants to do the ever-so-popular friends with benefits instead of the normal, committed thing I really prefer. She brought this issue to my attention late last night before I went to bed. When I asked her why, she wouldn't give me a straight answer except that being tied down has to be the worst situation to put herself in. The thing is, I never even referenced such a thing. Of course, I want her to be faithful to me since I consider us an item. We go out, hold hands in public, make-out in public, etc. Isn't this what relationships entail, casual or otherwise? Was I wrong to assume she was all mine from the start? I'm not up for sharing this babe. Seeing guys check her out, already irritates me to no avail, but allowing a friends with benefits affair will force me out of the game. I see women will never stop changing their minds.
Seneca Posted June 13, 2012 Posted June 13, 2012 The thing is, I never even referenced such a thing. Of course, I want her to be faithful to me since I consider us an item. We go out, hold hands in public, make-out in public, etc. Isn't this what relationships entail, casual or otherwise? Was I wrong to assume she was all mine from the start? I'm not up for sharing this babe.. Wow, I just threw up in my mouth... She's not a piece of property to own or control. Let her do her own thing. Otherwise, you will both be miserable.
serial muse Posted June 13, 2012 Posted June 13, 2012 Didn't you have a thread just a week or so ago about this girl, saying that you wanted it to be a casual, physical relationship with no expectations? Honestly, this makes it seem as though you've changed your mind about what you want...maybe she's not ready for the commitment you're ready for, and never was? 2
Eddie Edirol Posted June 13, 2012 Posted June 13, 2012 Dude I've NEVER seen this before. Well you already know what the possible real reason is here. Either she wants you to fight for her and she doesnt know how to comunicate a real problem, or she has someone new in mind that she wants to start seeing, and the FWB she's talking about is a slow breakup with you. First its FWB, then she starts blowing that off, then she needs space. My vote, since she isnt creative enough to come up with a real reason, then she wants to start seeing someone else, and this is a slow breakup. So RIP that safety net out from under her and leave her dangling, and cut her off, theres no way back to this one.
d'Arthez Posted June 13, 2012 Posted June 13, 2012 Since OP wants a casual committed relationship, and his "girlfriend" (it was casual right?) may want to screw someone who is not old enough to be her daddy, I don't see how he can wriggle himself out of it. Unless of course he was a real catch for an 18-year old, but somehow I doubt that. 3
manup Posted June 13, 2012 Posted June 13, 2012 Yea, she wants to do the ever-so-popular friends with benefits instead of the normal, committed thing I really prefer. She brought this issue to my attention late last night before I went to bed. When I asked her why, she wouldn't give me a straight answer except that being tied down has to be the worst situation to put herself in. The thing is, I never even referenced such a thing. Of course, I want her to be faithful to me since I consider us an item. We go out, hold hands in public, make-out in public, etc. Isn't this what relationships entail, casual or otherwise? Was I wrong to assume she was all mine from the start? I'm not up for sharing this babe. Seeing guys check her out, already irritates me to no avail, but allowing a friends with benefits affair will force me out of the game. I see women will never stop changing their minds. Either she's already banging another guy, she banged another guy and feel guilty, or she wants to bang other guys. Basically it comes down to her wanting to bang other guys, dump her or enjoy some unattached sex. You can always find another girl and dump this one once you find a better model. Peace and good luck.
InJest Posted June 13, 2012 Posted June 13, 2012 I agree with manup here. Tying her down isn't an option. If you still want her around, and want her to want you, just treat her like a sex object and nothing else. Only call her when you want sex, and don't answer any texts or anything that aren't about meeting up. Only short responses. Start looking for other girls to date immediately. Or just dump her altogether.
carhill Posted June 13, 2012 Posted June 13, 2012 She's 18 and you've known her for all of a month, according to a prior thread. This stuff goes with the territory. It's the rollercoaster of youth. What goes up, comes down. This is how you and she find out what kind of relationships you want in life. Go with the flow. If she wants FWB, date other women, openly. She'll want something else next week. SNAFU.
zengirl Posted June 13, 2012 Posted June 13, 2012 Previously you said: She's 18 and so what? We're just casually messing around. and It's not like we're getting married. It's just a casual, physical relationship and it's fun; no nonsense from her and no expectations; sure beats the typical head games us men have to normally deal with. I'm not sure what happened in between to make this a surprise, but it sounds like she never considered you a serious prospect either and is now expressing it so as not to hurt you later. 1
Eddie Edirol Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 Give her brownie points for telling you instead of sneaking around behind your back! No brownie points, she's probably sneaking around already.
veggirl Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 LOL yeah an 18 yr old girl wanting to play the field and expand her wings. Shocking! :rolleyes: Oh well at least you never have to worry about her turning 25 now.
Author Shaun-Dro Posted June 14, 2012 Author Posted June 14, 2012 Dude I've NEVER seen this before. Well you already know what the possible real reason is here. Either she wants you to fight for her and she doesnt know how to comunicate a real problem, or she has someone new in mind that she wants to start seeing, and the FWB she's talking about is a slow breakup with you. First its FWB, then she starts blowing that off, then she needs space. My vote, since she isnt creative enough to come up with a real reason, then she wants to start seeing someone else, and this is a slow breakup. So RIP that safety net out from under her and leave her dangling, and cut her off, theres no way back to this one. The thing is I was about to do that today. I told her, "since you're pretty and all that, let these other suckers fawn over you," then I got up to get out, and that's when she stops me and apologizes through the ass about how she didn't know what she was saying and then wanted to make out with me on the spot, so I do. Afterwards, she tells me she wants to take me on a date next week, and again apologizes for acting stupid to me. My guess now is that she was in the middle of playing head games to test me, but I successfully thwarted it.
serial muse Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 The thing is I was about to do that today. I told her, "since you're pretty and all that, let these other suckers fawn over you," then I got up to get out, and that's when she stops me and apologizes through the ass about how she didn't know what she was saying and then wanted to make out with me on the spot, so I do. Afterwards, she tells me she wants to take me on a date next week, and again apologizes for acting stupid to me. My guess now is that she was in the middle of playing head games to test me, but I successfully thwarted it. Well, prepare for more of the same in a week or so. Sounds like she isn't ready for a committed relationship. Based on what you've said about her, though, I'm not convinced you are either. It sounds like you don't really know what you want.
Kamille Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 Wow. What a power struggle this relationship is. Good luck with that. Please don't reach any "all women" conclusion from your participation in a relationship where what you seem to want the most is to be top dog. 2
RedFemale Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 OP, I would advice you to get a female cat. Will solve your problem and will make you a better person.
dasein Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 Give her what she wants, start cultivating other options. Whether to continue having sex is up to you, but be aware that she likely has other options in mind that she will solidify a traditional relationship with and cut things with you sooner rather than later. In your shoes, I'd move on entirely, you don't seem to have a problem getting women, just get another one who is on the same page as you are.
Author Shaun-Dro Posted June 14, 2012 Author Posted June 14, 2012 Well, prepare for more of the same in a week or so. Sounds like she isn't ready for a committed relationship. Based on what you've said about her, though, I'm not convinced you are either. It sounds like you don't really know what you want. When I say committed, I just mean not for her to go around messing with other dudes, that's it. Other than that, I'm not taking this seriously. I do know better than that, believe me. I do expect her to try other silly stuff to see my reaction. I won't buy into it because I'm expecting it. And with that, I can better prepare. I just like fooling around with her. She has a lot of energy and could make-out for so long its unbelievable. Not many females have that kind of sex drive; better yet, not many are willing to succumb to it as openly.
sally4sara Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 Sounds to me whats going on is the more you're around the less she enjoys your company. I'm not sure why this is so confusing or surprising. In fact, I'd call it a normal healthy reaction to *******ry. But she's only 18 so she still has a hard time trusting her own instincts. She'll get better at that soon enough; you're exactly the kind of guy to help her with that. 1
luvinthesun Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 Yea, she wants to do the ever-so-popular friends with benefits instead of the normal, committed thing I really prefer. She brought this issue to my attention late last night before I went to bed. When I asked her why, she wouldn't give me a straight answer except that being tied down has to be the worst situation to put herself in. The thing is, I never even referenced such a thing. Of course, I want her to be faithful to me since I consider us an item. We go out, hold hands in public, make-out in public, etc. Isn't this what relationships entail, casual or otherwise? Was I wrong to assume she was all mine from the start? I'm not up for sharing this babe. Seeing guys check her out, already irritates me to no avail, but allowing a friends with benefits affair will force me out of the game. I see women will never stop changing their minds. ew- wow- sorry.
Author Shaun-Dro Posted June 19, 2012 Author Posted June 19, 2012 Sounds to me whats going on is the more you're around the less she enjoys your company. I'm not sure why this is so confusing or surprising. In fact, I'd call it a normal healthy reaction to *******ry. But she's only 18 so she still has a hard time trusting her own instincts. She'll get better at that soon enough; you're exactly the kind of guy to help her with that. It looks like the relationship is "reduced" because I haven't heard from her since last Thursday and we're supposed get together this Friday. I'm not going to be surprised if she decides to quietly disappear from everything. It's so typical of today's woman.
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