edelveis Posted June 13, 2012 Posted June 13, 2012 hello everyone.Today its my birthday and tomorrow its my ex's birthday..how should i react?our break up wasnt bad but we have no contact after then..1 and a half month..should i send her wishes?i dont think she will wish me today though..
Philosoraptor Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 You need to ask yourself what your motivations would be for sending her a message and how it would hit you if you got no response... or a negative response.
flitzanu Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 i'm assuming she dumped you. so no, you don't send her any well wishes.
Author edelveis Posted June 14, 2012 Author Posted June 14, 2012 Guys she hasnt wished me for my birthday today and even if there are a few hours remaining i am sure that she wont.Its hard..i feel a huge space inside me.that girl must be hating me i guess..flitzanu yeah she dumped me but do you think i should react like i am in a higher level and wish her tomorrow or just say nothing?
Eddie Edirol Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 Guys she hasnt wished me for my birthday today and even if there are a few hours remaining i am sure that she wont.Its hard..i feel a huge space inside me.that girl must be hating me i guess..flitzanu yeah she dumped me but do you think i should react like i am in a higher level and wish her tomorrow or just say nothing? Just say nothing. She isnt wishing you happy birthday prolly because she thinks she would lead you on. You dont need to be the bigger person, you can show her you dont need her, and dont bother. Dont find reasons to break NC. Leave her be. Enjoy your birthday with friends, youre trying to forget about her.
LovelyDaze Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 How do you react? You don't. Are you hoping to get back together from it? If so, drop that birthday wish immediately. If you really don't care if she thanks you for the wish or not, then go right ahead. You only know deep down what you want and you must listen to that voice. Stay NC if you want anything more(seriously) than to say Happy Birthday and move on with your own day.
budley12 Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 Guys she hasnt wished me for my birthday today and even if there are a few hours remaining i am sure that she wont.Its hard..i feel a huge space inside me.that girl must be hating me i guess..flitzanu yeah she dumped me but do you think i should react like i am in a higher level and wish her tomorrow or just say nothing? my birthday was a few days ago and my ex didnt wish me happy birthday even though i did a few weeks ago. Just get through the day and it will be better. The anticipation of not knowing whether they will or not is brutal. But I agree, just dont react. Dont let her see how much it affects you. Thats what this Loveshack forum is for!!!
Author edelveis Posted June 14, 2012 Author Posted June 14, 2012 yeah you are all right guys.i am not going to wish her. Lovelydaze i still miss her so much and think of her at least once every single day and still feel pain and bitterness but i have decided that i am moving on with my life and dont want anything from her ever again.We are done forever as lovers.So i have to stick on that. Budley so the same happened to you..i ll try to get through the day as you say.maybe i ll feel better after.stronger.. Eddie Edirol you think she is not wishing me because she doesnt want to give me wrong signs?just to make her position clear?
Eddie Edirol Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 Eddie Edirol you think she is not wishing me because she doesnt want to give me wrong signs?just to make her position clear? Absolutely both. trust me, youre doing the right thing with NC, it will help you get over her faster. I didnt do NC with a first breakup, and my grief was dragged over 7 months.
flitzanu Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 Guys she hasnt wished me for my birthday today and even if there are a few hours remaining i am sure that she wont.Its hard..i feel a huge space inside me.that girl must be hating me i guess..flitzanu yeah she dumped me but do you think i should react like i am in a higher level and wish her tomorrow or just say nothing? you don't need to worry about a reaction. she left your life, so you need to stop worrying about her. it's not about reactions, it's about recognizing she no longer exists to you.
Author edelveis Posted June 14, 2012 Author Posted June 14, 2012 Yeah right guys..its hard to realize that she doesnt care at all but now i see things more clear.it will help me hate her and move on easier..
LovelyDaze Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 yeah you are all right guys.i am not going to wish her. Lovelydaze i still miss her so much and think of her at least once every single day and still feel pain and bitterness but i have decided that i am moving on with my life and dont want anything from her ever again.We are done forever as lovers.So i have to stick on that. Budley so the same happened to you..i ll try to get through the day as you say.maybe i ll feel better after.stronger.. Eddie Edirol you think she is not wishing me because she doesnt want to give me wrong signs?just to make her position clear? I'm glad you are working through the hurt as logically as you can. It's when you allow your heart to make the decisions for you is when you get into trouble. Your head has a little ally named "your conscience" that wants better for you. The hard stuff is usually the wiser choice like staying NC, deleting ex from FB, no birthday wishes, presents, getting stuff back, etc. Plain letting go is best.
Author edelveis Posted June 14, 2012 Author Posted June 14, 2012 Thats how someone should act.logically.but believe me i dont blame people who act by heart and cant let go of their exes and are broken into little pieces for a period of time.coz we are humans and humans have weakness.when i asked my ex before our final break up to give our relationship a second chance and try work things out i did it by heart.just coz that little voice inside me told me so. That made me feel satisfied with myself knowing that i tried everything possible to save this relationship.i did the best of me.and she left.this fact makes me be logically now and trying really hard to move on.i dont have any "what if.." and thats important for me
LovelyDaze Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 Thats how someone should act.logically.but believe me i dont blame people who act by heart and cant let go of their exes and are broken into little pieces for a period of time.coz we are humans and humans have weakness.when i asked my ex before our final break up to give our relationship a second chance and try work things out i did it by heart.just coz that little voice inside me told me so. That made me feel satisfied with myself knowing that i tried everything possible to save this relationship.i did the best of me.and she left.this fact makes me be logically now and trying really hard to move on.i dont have any "what if.." and thats important for me That is good because you got the answer you need. We surely are all human and have weaknesses. When I came on during my bad breakup, I felt lost and more than depressed. Hopefully, I have found the man who will continue to treat me right. I've learned it takes time to get though the pain, not over it. To walk through the fire, hurts like hell but you will feel victorious and receive a better reward from the challenge. It WILL get better and later you can open your heart to someone that truly deserves you.
Author edelveis Posted June 14, 2012 Author Posted June 14, 2012 I am glad to hear that you are fine now with someone that really deserves you but lovely daze you think that do we ever get over it ?or we just overpass it and move on?for example i dont know how am i gonna feel when i ll see her again in september..i want to be over it till then..
LovelyDaze Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 (edited) That's a good one! After three years, I come back every now and again to see my growth and to help others who are going through what I went through. Paying it forward, if you will. The truth is, I do think of my ex from time to time. Some of those, I laugh that I ever was with him and other times, I do recall how he hurt me and get a little puffy but it doesn't last but a nanosecond. Hindsight is 20/20. I see that my own ex was a jerk so it's easier to not feel pain, plus the young girl he ran off and married (that he cheated on me with) are now divorced. Last I heard, he(who is 34) is dating ANOTHER high school student! Tsk tsk tsk. I feel lucky to be away from him now! So, it is half-true. You do get better and through the pain but you will have moments of "Hmmm, wonder where "so and so" is and what they're up to." For me, I'm in a happier place and NEVER ever want to tread back to any person like him. That's how you will feel eventually...and mean it. Edited June 14, 2012 by LovelyDaze
Author edelveis Posted June 14, 2012 Author Posted June 14, 2012 wow what happened to you in the past is really bad..i am glad that you came out of it strong and that you are happy again.he gave you too the answer you were in need for not missing and getting over a jurk like him.i am really happy when i hear people who got over their ex and are really fine in the present.have you ever seen him again ?how did you feel? In my situation if you have a look on my few previous threads i hope you ll understand that i made mistakes but not intentionally and i really loved her,never mistreated her,was there for her whenever she needed me,cared for her soo much,made sacrifices for her ,talking sweet to her and so many other things she never valued and finally she left me..for that reason i know that she is not worthy.like your situation.what will be the point of going back to a person like that.. i am just worried if i will ever really,100% get over her and not just overpass her..i am afraid for the time i ll see her again because i am afraid that my feelings might grow again..
mblaakman Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 (edited) You should always be the better person, even if she does not wish you one! It always brightens my day when an old friend or ex wishes me a happy birthday so I do the same. You two have history, whether it ended ok or poorly, relationships are also about the memorable time you've shared together. So YES! Be the better person, that will also eat her away that she didn't Edited June 14, 2012 by mblaakman I thought it was the wrong thread but it is correct, no edit done
Eddie Edirol Posted June 15, 2012 Posted June 15, 2012 You should always be the better person, even if she does not wish you one! It always brightens my day when an old friend or ex wishes me a happy birthday so I do the same. You two have history, whether it ended ok or poorly, relationships are also about the memorable time you've shared together. So YES! Be the better person, that will also eat her away that she didn't Relationships are only about the memorable times you spent together for the person who was dumped. The dumper moved on to new memorable times with new people. Its not going to eat away at her, how many people really want to hear happy birthday from someone they just dumped, and dont want to hear from?
Seductive Posted June 15, 2012 Posted June 15, 2012 Relationships are only about the memorable times you spent together for the person who was dumped. The dumper moved on to new memorable times with new people. Its not going to eat away at her, how many people really want to hear happy birthday from someone they just dumped, and dont want to hear from? Given the things that you've said, I'm really concerned that these forums are allowing people like you to post on here and give dating advice. How old are you? Last time I saw you post on here, you sounded like some bitter 17 year old boy with asperger's syndrome and a hint of sociopathy. You had no concern for other people's feelings. Several posters have complained about you.
k100danny Posted June 15, 2012 Posted June 15, 2012 This is really quite simple as someone said and is not being negative or horrible. you can wish her a happy birthday if you do actually hope she has one. if you hope it will regain contact then it is not the way. The dumper does move on and in time if you do actually want to be friends then saying happy birthday is fine. If you are hurting because she didn't say it to you then i would say you arent over her and it may do more harm to you than good. You will hope for some response which may not come or may be awkward. when you are both past it and moved on the the friendship thing can work but only then.
Author edelveis Posted June 15, 2012 Author Posted June 15, 2012 hi guys..well the day is passing and i havent wished her yet..and i think i wont..next year that i ll be totally over her i will..but now i dont want to show to her that i still care while she doesnt..and lets dont forget that she is the one who left..i need to move on..k100danny if i had sent her a message wouldnt she think that i am trying to ragain contact ?really that wouldnt be my purpose.she didnt wish me so maybe she doesnt want to be friends in the end..and i am not going to try for it of course..i shouldnt and will not care..
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