Brittanypolo4 Posted June 13, 2012 Posted June 13, 2012 So I posted on here a few times, trying to get insight on my ex and I's relationship and if it was worth being saved. Since then however, He told me he used me for sex and never actually cared about me (why the hell would he stick around so long??), and has found someone else after a month. My question is, what do I do from here? What are some of the best ways to get over someone? It's weird for me because I just feel so much anger and hurt and I know I would never ever want him back.. but I still love him, even after all that. I'm stupid, I know, but I can't help how I feel. He was my first real love, even though he apparently never cared about me. I just need to know how to cope now. And how long does it usually take for this to happen? To move on? I don't mean to find someone else, because I don't think I could find someone else for a long time. Just, how long does it take to feel whole again?
Winning Posted June 13, 2012 Posted June 13, 2012 Every person is a little different and each breakup MAY bring to life old issues that you haven't dealt with before, thus prolonging the agony of the breakup. Since you still want to be with someone who callously admits using you, you really really need to work on your self-esteem. I can highly recommend Baggage Reclaim - The Dating & Relationship blog | relationship advice | emotional unavailability | commitment | self-esteem | dating advice | communication in relationships | being the other woman GREAT site with helpful insights into behavior of certain types, and ourselves. I particularly like Being Valued & Having Personal Values in Relationships: Your Value Is As Good As How You Treat You (Part 1) | Baggage Reclaim about having personal values FOR YOURSELF in relationships. It's a three part grand read of really helpful info.
Cyberpunk Posted June 13, 2012 Posted June 13, 2012 I'll let William Shakespeare handle this question: "How poor are they who have not patience! What wound did ever heal but by degrees?" Thou know'st we work by wits, not witchcraft, And wit depends on dilatory time." What that means is that there is no magic method to heal your pain. Only time will heal it. There are things you can do to expedite the process though. Completely cut all contact with him. Delete every facet of him from your life. Delete pictures, box up everything he might have ever given to you, block him from Facebook, make sure no memory of him lies in site. Then take time to occupy your mind. Hang out with friends, take up a hobby, work on your career, exercise, eat healthy, and feel better about yourself. Listen to empowering music. Read encouraging posts on this website. You'll get better at this through practice, and I hate to say it, but you get plenty of practice before you find the right one.
Author Brittanypolo4 Posted June 13, 2012 Author Posted June 13, 2012 I know I have no self esteem left.. Its hard because I knew with him I was settling.. or I didn't think that but everyone told me that. So him breaking up with me was like.. If I'm not good enough for him, then what am I good for?? I know, it's stupid, and I know, I need to work on myself. I will check out those blogs as soon as I can.
Cyberpunk Posted June 13, 2012 Posted June 13, 2012 So you settled with this guy who you thought would love you unconditionally forever because you are such a great catch, and you were only with him until someone better came along? Sounds like you do need to work on yourself before you date again and hurt somebody.
Author Brittanypolo4 Posted June 13, 2012 Author Posted June 13, 2012 What? I'm so lost.. He broke up with ME when somebody better came along.Am I missing something?
Oncehadluv Posted June 13, 2012 Posted June 13, 2012 In my experience go no contact until your head is balanced, movin on takes effort and willpower
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