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Posted

Been a short while since my update.

I have heard promising words from her, but when she gets downtime, she has been meeting the girls, but is inviting me to meet them.

However, we both agree we need time to sit and talk alone.

So, we had to settle for the phone (better than Text!!), and we talked for 2 hours last night.

We have had battles when we were living together about me watching her kids (when I wasn't working), and helping out.

I was OK with that if she was working or for emergency, but when it was for her to go shopping for clothes or Zumba class, I called her on it as taking me for granted.

Anyway, that topic came up and I said if I said I'd never watch them I'd be wrong, and if she cannot compromise, it's just not right.

However, it seems still an issue for her. Plus, now she tells me she is too old for more kids (40), plus I don't see that love fire in her.

We ended the call after discussing this all, but not fighting. She said we're getting nowhere with this, and I said, yeah, listen, I gotta go to sleep it's 1AM, and she said OK...and we said "Later"....

 

TO ME, this is officially DAY 1 of NO CONTACT !!!!!

  • Author
Posted

Thanks all......and I just got this from her just now:

 

"FYI.. I did what u asked me to do and took your family off my time line..(hopefully I did it right)

 

U need to make them stop thinking im a run around.. they know from what u tell them and that’s not fair.."

  • Author
Posted

HELP !!!

 

Now I'm bummed AND confused.

My current contract job I got through my girl's headhunter company she works for.

We've been NC since last Sunday night, aside from a mail she sent to me Monday which I ignored.

I know my contract is ending, but out of the blue I JUST got this text from her:

"Hey.. sorry to hear your out work again.. hope all is well with u and ryan.."

(Note - Ryan is my son).

 

How do I even answer that?????

Posted

Holy drama batman.

All that fighting, arguing, wandering what does this or that mean.

 

You might want to focus that energy at work,kid and yourself.

 

not putting down js.

Posted

So....two things:

1. Guys, was I wrong? I know FB status is BS Stuff, but in the context of how we met and how we both use it daily and EVERYONE we each know is on it (plus the odd coincidence)??, and

2. Did I TOAST this relationship by ending it for this, and will she call me ?

 

Thanks SO much !!

R

 

This is a relationship that's never going to work out. Too much drama too soon. And you are willing to compromise but she isn't. It's her way or drama until you buckle. You are doubting yourself where you shouldn't. And when you have a clearer head, you'll wonder at yourself.

 

Something to think about: your reaction is extreme--you are very hurt and upset, more so per you than any other relationship including the end of your marriage. Sometimes when you are dealing with a person who has a personality disorder, your emotions get way too twisted and engaged and extreme. People with personality disorders have a genius for hooking others into their drama.

 

Notice how her issues with her ex make her extra sensitive to being controlled, but your issues of neediness were blown off. Bad sign. Everyone's issues should get equal respect.

 

Also I didn't like how she was trying to convince you in her email that your feelings and perspective were wrong. Saying you were obsessed with facebook and that she can't control what goes on her page is rediculous. She didn't have to friend the fat bald bus driver, and if he acted in an inappropriate way (for example exhibiting extreme like out of proportion to their IRL relationship) she could have defriended him. But she didn't. She encouraged him and defended his actions.

 

She's a drama queen who can't see past her own wants, needs, comfort. You are always wrong, she is always right. Interesting that she lives in her parents basement but her parents won't watch their grandchildren when you don't want to. Interesting they want her to move out. Tired of her drama and self absorption maybe?

 

It's worrisome that you are doubting yourself when you are so clearly not wrong. Go no contact, but include in it no more texts from her. Block her. See how you feel in a month. My guess is you'll feel a lot better.

 

Yes, she will call you because she's a drama queen, and right now you are in time out and being punished. When you've been punished enough, she'll call. Also defriend her from FB. That will indicate that you are not obsessed with it--and will prevent her from using it as a passive aggressive medium to get to you. She assumes you are watching it closely, and she'll use it against you.

  • Author
Posted

Marly,

I highly respect your perspective and comments. Thank you.

I have blocked her on FB, but understand I do care for her and worry for her, but I cannot watch her life online. It's not healthy. I agree.

 

Thank you so much !

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