goldengirl11 Posted June 13, 2012 Posted June 13, 2012 I'm not sure if I'm posting in the wrong section here, but does anyone else have a hard time with learning from their mistakes in dating? For example I regret not making more of an effort to see my ex/fwb before which feel sure contributed to things fizzling out and him meeting someone else (when he seemed to put me on the backburner). Now their relationship has stuck and find at times I still obsess about where I went wrong etc. I am trying to stay positive re meeting someone else though which is hard as as yet no-one has compared to him or the feelings have not been mutual. Thanks
mortensorchid Posted June 13, 2012 Posted June 13, 2012 I like to think that I have learned from my mistakes no matter what kind of mistake it was. I think I have made more mistakes in my professional life rather than my personal, but I have learned what to do and say. Am I now perfect? No, of course not. I think the biggest thing that we have to learn is about suppressing our egos enough to make things work with others to right way, or at least the best way possible. That's all we can hope for in the end, isn't it?
Philosoraptor Posted June 13, 2012 Posted June 13, 2012 I think the first thing we need to ask ourselves is did we make a mistake or were we just being ourselves? We can perceive the actions we take as mistakes later down the line when the result isn't what we wanted... but if we were just being ourselves it certainly wasn't a mistake we made. Chalk it up to a bad match. The reason so many people don't learn from said mistakes was because they were not mistakes at all. Just because someone doesn't like something you did or something about you doesn't make it a mistake. 1
Author goldengirl11 Posted June 14, 2012 Author Posted June 14, 2012 (edited) Thanks for responses. You could say my failure of having a healthy relationship so far has made me feel quite ill of late e.g they have usually met someone else at some point whether in the getting to know each other/early physical stage, or after a couple of months. Edited June 14, 2012 by goldengirl11
Philosoraptor Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 Thanks for responses. You could say my failure of having a healthy relationship so far has made me feel quite ill of late e.g they have usually met someone else at some point whether in the getting to know each other/early physical stage, or after a couple of months. The way you feel regarding not having someone seems like much more of an issue than not having someone. If they feel like someone else is a better match that's great, good for them. Just wish them the best and continue to patiently wait for the best possible match for yourself.
Author goldengirl11 Posted June 14, 2012 Author Posted June 14, 2012 The way you feel regarding not having someone seems like much more of an issue than not having someone. If they feel like someone else is a better match that's great, good for them. Just wish them the best and continue to patiently wait for the best possible match for yourself. I see your point, but if someone has led you on and kept you on a string suggesting to try (sexual) things on your own etc and is trying to keep you interested without coming up with a date anymore... then bang they disappear. Then pop up again a few months later to chat again giving me hope that we will meet again, then disappears again. Last contact being at new year. Can't help feeling that this other girl was on the spot at college probably and presence took over. Perhaps he fancied her more or just as much, when he didn't need me anymore when feelings were reciprocated. I've a feeling he may get in touch again if it doesn't work out. I suppose mainly what I regret is that we didn't actually have full on sex yet. When the other girl came on the scene it felt like a lost cause. As mentioned in a previous thread he was an old colleague who got in touch after a few years.
Leopard Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 I have never been in your situation. Usually the mistakes I make are minimal and my partner doesn't have a problem telling them to me, ex: you are stubborn when it comes to this, or I don't like it when you are so loud in the morning etc...
Author goldengirl11 Posted June 14, 2012 Author Posted June 14, 2012 (edited) Tried to edit my last post. We'd exchanged e-mails again not just chatted before in-between NC. I feel that I want nothing more to do with him if he gets in touch again, but would probably go weak again. Never been messed around so much! Edited June 14, 2012 by goldengirl11
luvinthesun Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 I'm not sure if I'm posting in the wrong section here, but does anyone else have a hard time with learning from their mistakes in dating? For example I regret not making more of an effort to see my ex/fwb before which feel sure contributed to things fizzling out and him meeting someone else (when he seemed to put me on the backburner). Now their relationship has stuck and find at times I still obsess about where I went wrong etc. I am trying to stay positive re meeting someone else though which is hard as as yet no-one has compared to him or the feelings have not been mutual. Thanks Al u can do is change thinsg in the future- and possibly let that person know how u feel
Author goldengirl11 Posted June 14, 2012 Author Posted June 14, 2012 Al u can do is change thinsg in the future- and possibly let that person know how u feel Yes, thanks.
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