NotOverYou Posted June 13, 2012 Posted June 13, 2012 This is my first time posting on LoveShack for bear with me and I apologize if my story is very long. My girlfriend and I dated for two and a half years. We met through a mutual friend in July 2009. We officially begin dating in August 2009. It started off as a three hour long distance relationship for the first two years and then she and her kids moved in with me for the last six months of our relationship. She was 29 and I was 25 when we started dating. Her kids were 7 and 8. Things were good during the first two years of our relationship. We would argue here and there. A few times we were on the verge of breaking up, but we would talk things through and made up. There were some trust issues because when I ask her if she was still talking to her ex and she told no. I later found out that she was still talking to her. I gave her a ultimatum and she choose me. There were a number of times when we would get into a big fight and she would drive up just so we can talk it through. I always forgive for any little mistakes she made. After my ex moved in with me. We started to see what we didn't like from each other. What she did annoyed me and what I did annoyed her. We lost the connection we had when we were still in a LDR. We failed to communicate with each other and that's when we would not talk for days. She would go to her friends house and drink on the weekends while I am at work. I didn't really like it and address to her many of times, but she tells me that she can't sit at home every weekend. I respected that, but still didn't like what she's doing. We stopped talking to each since the beginning of Jan 2012 until the middle of Jan. One night before bed i told her that I didn't want to be with her anymore because our relationship wasn't healthy. She took the breakup very well and three days later she found an apartment. She asked if we can still be friends, but I told her that I didn't want to be friends with my exes. The next day, I kindly told her that we can still be friends since our breakup was mutual. After she moved out, I kind of regret breaking up with her. I believe that we can both work things out and that my reason for the breakup was not good enough. I called and plead her to take me back, but it did not work. She was crying from the other end of the phone and told me that maybe it was a good idea for this breakup to work on ourselves. She said that she wanted me to miss her. I told her that I respect her decision and that I will work on myself to become a better partner. The first month was rough because I was trying to get over her. I applied the NC rule until it was the day of her birthday. I text her "Happy Birthday" and she text back "thank you. do you want to have dinner with me?", I replied with a "sure". That night we both went out to dinner. We chatted and she asked me if I missed her. I told her yes. We flirted and held hands while we were walking back to my car. I dropped her off and didn't called her. She's the one contacting me only. She has invited me over for dinner a couple of times. I went to a few of them. Nothing romantic. Just a family dinner. For the last month or so, my ex have been going out clubbing or out of town. She has been reckless and is not herself. She's gain a lot of weight. I really miss her and want her back, but I think she's over me already. All she wants to do now is party and her friend is a major influence on this. She was never like this when she was still dating me. I feel like if I don't act soon I won't get the chance to because I feel like she already moved on. Just the other night, when I took her to the store her ex was texting her again. I was pretty jealous, but played it cool. I don't know what I should I do. Should I ask her to dinner and apologize and reconcile or should I send her a email stating how I feel? She knows that I have a hard time expressing my feelings. What do you guys think I should I do?
Philosoraptor Posted June 13, 2012 Posted June 13, 2012 Were the issues that caused the breakup, after moving in together, reversible? If not it will just end again in the future. From what it sounds like you were just being yourselves and didn't quite like what you saw in one another.
Author NotOverYou Posted June 13, 2012 Author Posted June 13, 2012 After moving together, we both got comfortable with each other and stop trying. The lack of communication was another cause of our breakup. We took each other for-granted and didn't spend time to work on our relationship. We both work different schedules and was didn't get to see each other as much as we liked to. I think if my apartment would've been bigger and it wouldn't put too much stress on me. I didn't like the idea of having her moving in with me, but I was the only person she can run if she had any problems. I didn't want to disappoint her that's why I let her stay with me even I know that my apartment was very small.
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