barese1 Posted June 13, 2012 Posted June 13, 2012 Hi Loveshackers, If you want to ready my story (its only short) you can find it here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/329629-nc-friends-maybe Basically I am maintaining NC (2 and a half weeks) and doing all relevant things to move on, exercise, going out, focusing on work, thought stopping techniques, etc. I'm trying to tackle each area seperately. Now randomly, two weeks in I'm having jealous thoughts, and these are the most painful. The girl was extremely good looking, it got commented on all the time, and the sex was incredible, she was up for anything and just say the hottest things. Now its finally hit me that she's probably doing this with other guys. What I want to know is does anyone know or have any stories of how they let go of this jealous thoughts as they keep popping up in my head and hurt more than the pain of missing her. Thanks guys, much love
Philosoraptor Posted June 13, 2012 Posted June 13, 2012 It's normal. Your best bet is to occupy your time and try to put your focus on yourself and what you want out of life rather than what she is or could be doing.
Author barese1 Posted June 13, 2012 Author Posted June 13, 2012 Agreed and I am just trying to fill my life to capacity but every now and then I get a glimps in my mind of her doing those things then the realisation that its no longer me. I just want to know of anything people have done specifically to stop those thoughts rather than the general road to healing
Philosoraptor Posted June 13, 2012 Posted June 13, 2012 Way back when, I put together a bucket list. When I got down I would either knock something off of it or make plans to knock something off.
skyisfalling Posted June 13, 2012 Posted June 13, 2012 I too am having these jealous thoughts about my ex and its torturing me. Can u explain what a bucket list is philo? Thanks
Philosoraptor Posted June 13, 2012 Posted June 13, 2012 Pretty much just a list of things you'd like to do with your life. Places you'd like to visit, things you'd like to try, etc. The first thing I did on my list was skydiving. I also had a lot of volunteer like stuff on my list such as giving blood.
VandelayInd Posted June 13, 2012 Posted June 13, 2012 I am in the EXACT same situation. I dont know if youve ready my story or not but.. almost 3 weeks NC (she has tried to contact me 10-15 times) and now nothing from her for 5-6 days and all of a sudden Im thinking about some other guy having her, having sex with her, etc. Tough times my friend. We are all in this together. It amazes me how everyones stories are eerily similar.
skyisfalling Posted June 13, 2012 Posted June 13, 2012 some days its bearable other days its hard. today is one of those f*** days where i can't stop thinking about him...
Author barese1 Posted June 13, 2012 Author Posted June 13, 2012 Thats what's so good about this forum, everyone has been on the same journey at some point. Mate I feel ya, some days I couldn't give a f**k then other days it eats me up. I'll here my mates talk about hooking up with these girls and I immediately think about what she was like with me and now its some other guy that gets to enjoy it. I guess we just need to take each day as it comes, and honestly at one point you won't care and in my experience its when you meet someone else for a bit. Are you guys like me though and the thought of sleeping with someone else makes you feel a bit crap? Also, thats why the jealousy is kciking in for you.When she was contacting you constantly you had no reason to feel jealous as she still wanted to reach out to you, now there's no contact your mind is running wild, I'm there too. I hope this is all a phase we can just get past soon.16 days NC and the jealousy has started, lets see where I am at 30 days
skyisfalling Posted June 13, 2012 Posted June 13, 2012 good for you barese.. 16 days NC.. I am 6 days NC and just living it day to day.. at least we're all in this together so it makes me feel better.. but the pain f***ing sucks
paperboy48 Posted June 13, 2012 Posted June 13, 2012 Times your friend....in time it gets easier!! I still hate the thought and it kills me but I think about it less frequently..
Author barese1 Posted June 13, 2012 Author Posted June 13, 2012 I feel that pain, we all do. Vent here I know I will. Can't tell you how much I miss her right now but we have to remind ourselves that it will get easier no matter how much we don't believe it
VandelayInd Posted June 13, 2012 Posted June 13, 2012 Yes.. Exactly it. First week was hell, then she started texting and calling NONSTOP for 4-5 days to which I didnt reply, now its been 4-6 days where she has not contacted me and it honestly feels like that first week again. Im not sure why because I didnt reply back but maybe it was her calling/texting me that made me feel better- I dont know? And now it seems Ive regressed, the racing thoughts of her with other guys, banging them, doing things we used to do etc. Constant battle. One minute Im like F her theres millions of girls out there, the next I feel like S*** about myself and why she left me and regretting that I didnt answer her calls and text 5 days ago.. Love sucks.
Author barese1 Posted June 14, 2012 Author Posted June 14, 2012 You felt better because she was contacting you, it didn't matter if you didn't reply or answer, you were getting your fix. It always feels better when you gte your fix until its gone then its just back to square one. I know what you mean but constant battle. I get attention from a girl and one minute I'm like yeeaaaah boi, then I'm like wait, the ex was smoking hot and filth, I want that! I just don't know how to get these jealous thoughts out. She always has a line of men trying to chat her up and can take her pick really, which means sooner rather than later some prick will have his way with her. How do I make myself not care??
skyisfalling Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 u know what i did last night barese. I imagined my ex having sex over and over with some hot ass girl. OVER AND OVER in my head until it made me crazy. I couldn't sleep all last night. But today, for some reason, when I put that image in my head, i just feel kinda numb. Maybe because of my lack of sleep or maybe because i thought about it so much its just numbness.. either way, instead of trying to push back your thoughts maybe it might not be a bad idea to just roll with them..
Author barese1 Posted June 14, 2012 Author Posted June 14, 2012 Sh*t that sound slike a tough night. Theres no way I could let myself imagine that, the thought of it makes me sick to my stomach but the truth is I know its probably happening right now. Makes you feel like all those intimate moments meant sod all to them
paperboy48 Posted June 15, 2012 Posted June 15, 2012 Do you think it is worse to find out if they are seeing someone or is the anxiety of not knowing worse?
MoneyMatt Posted June 15, 2012 Posted June 15, 2012 I'm in the same boat as you guys. Thinking about my Ex being with someone else. It's been hard, it really has. But I've come to a realization Life Goes On. Im not going to lie, I care but once I find someone else I most likely won't. As for knowing if shes with someone else? I know my ex is messing around with someone else. I actually laugh because I'm way better looking then him. It's a bittersweet feeling when you see your Ex downgrade
Author barese1 Posted June 15, 2012 Author Posted June 15, 2012 I would definately say ignorance is bliss. If I knew for a fact my ex was with someone I'd be picturing them at it all the time. I'd rather not know, I guess thats one thing NC does for you. I agree with that, as soon as I find someone else I probably won't care anyway.
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