ss284 Posted June 13, 2012 Posted June 13, 2012 I just finished grad school at the same college I got my undergrad. I loved my time there but felt lonely the last year because my friends had all moved on. Even though my friends were gone, I'd still go to some of the local bars on the weekend for something to do. Well, I met this girl who is an undergrad and grew to really like her. We'd talk whenever we'd see each other and she'd usually give me a hug when she saw me for the first time that evening. A few weeks ago, she finally asked me for my first and last name and I asked for her last since I knew her first name. Anyway, I added her on facebook the next morning. I ran into her later that night and she made a point to make sure I knew she remembered my name. I asked her if she got my request and she said she didn't. She said she rarely goes on facebook and she'd add me the next time she logged on. However, it's been nearly two weeks and no answer. She's also added a few friends since I made the request. Did she not see my request or was she just being nice when she said she'd add? Judging by her profile, it does appear that she isn't on there very often. Would it be wrong to cancel and resend and maybe leave a message as well? At the very least, I'd like to thank her for making my last few months of grad school more enjoyable.
Philosoraptor Posted June 13, 2012 Posted June 13, 2012 Well has she still been talking to you outside of facebook? Still with the hugs and such? If so I wouldn't worry too much. You have to understand that even if it says she added a new friend it could have just been someone else hitting the accept button from a request she sent long ago.
Philosoraptor Posted June 13, 2012 Posted June 13, 2012 Well has she still been talking to you outside of facebook? Still with the hugs and such? If so I wouldn't worry too much. You have to understand that even if it says she added a new friend it could have just been someone else hitting the accept button from a request she sent long ago.
Krytie TV Posted June 13, 2012 Posted June 13, 2012 This question likely demonstrates by degree of "out-of-touchness", but why the urge to run home and add her to facebook? Why must all new acquaintances be added to facebook immediately? If you ask me, you are far better off getting to know her and/or asking her out before degenerating a possible romantic interest to the drama machine that is facebook. 1
Christine52 Posted June 13, 2012 Posted June 13, 2012 Agreed! Facebook and text messaging are both drama machines. Just do the traditional number exchange, and call Times were simpler back then, and for good reason!!! 1
Author ss284 Posted June 14, 2012 Author Posted June 14, 2012 Well, the problem is that I'm done with school and won't be returning in the fall. If I don't become facebook friends with her, I'll have no other way to ever get in touch with her. I would've asked her out, but I'm at a point in my life where I don't want to be in a relationship but I also don't want to hookup, either. I would at least like to thank her for making my last few months of grad school more enjoyable.
Philosoraptor Posted June 15, 2012 Posted June 15, 2012 Well, the problem is that I'm done with school and won't be returning in the fall. If I don't become facebook friends with her, I'll have no other way to ever get in touch with her. I would've asked her out, but I'm at a point in my life where I don't want to be in a relationship but I also don't want to hookup, either. I would at least like to thank her for making my last few months of grad school more enjoyable. Well then just be patient and see if she clicks it or not. But you can message people who aren't your "friends" can't you? At least that way you could get out what you wanted to say.
Author ss284 Posted June 17, 2012 Author Posted June 17, 2012 Thank you for the advice. I think that's what I'm going to do.
Author ss284 Posted June 22, 2012 Author Posted June 22, 2012 Well, about a week ago, I cancelled and re-sent the friend request and also sent a message thanking her for making my last few months on campus more enjoyable and wished her luck in the future. I still haven't gotten a response and I know she's added several more people and has been on recently. Was she lying when she said she'd add me, or did I do something since then to creep her out? I do know I saw her only one more time after that and I was really sick and out of sorts and might have acted strangely. I just don't understand why she'd act so friendly to me for so long and then ask for my first and last name and then reject me. It doesn't make sense.
Krytie TV Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 (edited) I know you may not get this for another 10 years or so, but seriously, stop trying to funnel all romantic interests through social media. It's crippling. Plus, being "disconnected" from social media makes you more mysterious. By the way, most people will tell you that nothing of any substance happens on facebook. Edited June 23, 2012 by Krytie TV 1
Author ss284 Posted June 23, 2012 Author Posted June 23, 2012 I'm not really trying to funnel romantic interests through facebook. In fact, I don't want a romantic relationship for at least another year. It's just that this is the only chance I have at staying in touch with her. I was too gutless to ask for her number and likely won't ever see her again without having a way of staying in touch. I'm really afraid I did something to change her opinion of me from a nice guy with slight social awkwardness to a creep.
Krytie TV Posted June 24, 2012 Posted June 24, 2012 I was too gutless to ask for her number and likely won't ever see her again without having a way of staying in touch. This is the lesson you need to take from this experience. Think about this every time you are interested in a woman. 1
Author ss284 Posted June 25, 2012 Author Posted June 25, 2012 This is the lesson you need to take from this experience. Think about this every time you are interested in a woman. You're right, but I'm always afraid I'll freak them out and ruin whatever relationship I do have with them. Also, like I said, I'm not interested in a relationship for another year or two and I'm way past the point where I'm interested in one-night-stands and hooking up. I'm still afraid I did something to creep her out the last time I saw her or by sending her the message on facebook. There's also a chance she hasn't seen my request or my name isn't registering in her mind.
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