Jay123 Posted June 28, 2012 Posted June 28, 2012 You seem to be a lot like me. I wish I knew what the answer to your question. All I know is that isolating yourself is not good. Try to see your family or friends at least twice a week. I do prefer to be alone because I find I do not have fun with my friends and my family gets worried when they see me like this. I try to keep busy, dong constructive things like reading, painting, going to support group meetings. I found a anonymous group for co defendants which I find helps me be a bit stronger on my own. In short, we have to go through this rough patch for as long as it takes. The important thing is to try to keep moving forward, even when it seems we may be taking a step back.
Samilia Posted June 28, 2012 Posted June 28, 2012 its already been 9 months though? you think an additional 6 months to a year is a good idea? I don't think it is, you shouldn't talk to her at all. She should be dead to you, because counting the months till you see her again is not helping you. Figuring what you have done wrong and right isn't too hard. For instance, I know what I have done right (I am generous, funny, adventurous). I know what I have done wrong (rushing, not trusting). So now I know what not to do next time. Not that I think there is a recipe for a good relationship.. but actually maybe there is.. and it starts with taking it slow. Sure some people meet and get married a week later and have been married for 40 years but they aren't the rule. We are the rule and most people would get a divorce. Cut her out completely, if you have anything left of her, throw it away. Her phone number, email, etc etc... she knows how to contact you and she hasn't, so.. Try writing really, it's good. I like reading what I wrote 2 years ago, sometimes I think "wow, that was smart" or "what the heck was I thinking"
Author kyle77 Posted June 29, 2012 Author Posted June 29, 2012 ya how often do you write? do you just periodically write? and what should I be writing about?
Samilia Posted June 29, 2012 Posted June 29, 2012 I write when I'm not well, for the most part. I know I should write about happy stuff but the happy stuff is not what I need to let go off. I started writing after losing a baby, that was a blow, and it helped me dig myself out of a very deep hole. Sometimes I'll write about random thoughts though, mostly about what I think I should be, or what the world should be. I can be violent toward myself or other in my writings, but that's my way of letting go of my anger, doesn't mean that I am going to hurt myself or someone. Just take a pen and write your thoughts down, at first it's going to feel funny, maybe immature even, but you will see that your style will progress and your thoughts will become clearer, allowing you to take better decisions down the road.
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