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Broke up .. Seeking outside s. jealousy or my mistake

secondmulligan

By secondmulligan
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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secondmulligan New Member

secondmulligan

Posted
Posted (edited)

I'll try to make this as short and impartial as possible....

 

I've been dating this girl for about 9 months (broken up a few times here and there but nothing serious). She told me long ago she had "insane jealousy" issues. I told her "sure, ok, no big deal, etc"

 

A while later I noticed the first hinting of jealous creature. During an online game I wrote a comment to another girl in the server. My gf freaked out over it. She calmed down and everything went back to normal... for a while.

 

More recently she found out I was playing a game with a group of 4 people (which I invited her to join, and she did), ONE of which happened to be a random girl I'd never met prior to this. This caused her to turn all sorts of red. She broke up with me on the spot, said she lost all trust in me, and questioned if we could ever be together again. Days later we rekindled a bit, took it slow, courted her again (letters, gifts, the works). We were on track to get back together or so it seemed. Then just the other day I happened to be playing the game when this same girl from before joined the server. A random occurrence. Somehow my GF found out about this (through her friends spying on me I assume, lol). Needless to say she yelled, cussed, cursed, and kicked me out of her life. Deleted me from profiles, never wants to talk to me again, etc (this wouldn't be the first time though).

 

My question is... does all this sound reasonable? Was I in the wrong?

 

But the clincher to the story is this: the entire time we've been together I was fine with her playing with any guy she wanted to, as many as she wanted to. It's just online gaming, right? And she would play with many different guys for many hours. She even hung out with guys in person. She was spending up to 8 hours at a time with one particular guy during a period of our turmoil (is that suspicious?). During our last break up she was kind enough to inform she regretted not cheating on me all the times she could have. Yet I'm the one who's not to be trusted? These incidents occurring during the time I asked if she was remaining faithful to me. She said she had no interest in other guys, didn't want anyone else, etc. How wrong I was?

 

I'm trying to think about this rationally and would like some outside opinions on the situation. To me, this all seems to be a product of her controlling jealousy issues. The double standard is flagrant in my mind.

 

I did also meet her while playing a PC game. Maybe that plays into her fear of me finding another gal online.

Edited by secondmulligan
Ruby65 Established Member

Ruby65

Posted
Posted

Her behavior sounds pretty over the top. Has she ever been cheated on in the past?

 

Unfounded jealousy like this is usually about the person's own lack of self-esteem. It sounds like she's aware she has an issue with "crazy jealousy".... would she consider therapy?

Tiera D Established Member

Tiera D

Posted
Posted

some my exes are like this..to them i seem to be a 24/7 property,i go out with another girl once during my last relationship she blow up my phone with calls and text messages.I know some among my mates could endure,well i could also,to a certain extent but it all depends on you..the question is

 

Do you love her enough to be her sole possession,with very minimal contact with ANY girl? Yes then great!No then i think you know what to do,but i warn you this type chicks might do some insane things they are emotionally unstable when you dump them

 

TD

flitzanu Established Member

flitzanu

Posted
Posted
I'll try to make this as short and impartial as possible....

 

I've been dating this girl for about 9 months (broken up a few times here and there but nothing serious). She told me long ago she had "insane jealousy" issues. I told her "sure, ok, no big deal, etc"

 

A while later I noticed the first hinting of jealous creature. During an online game I wrote a comment to another girl in the server. My gf freaked out over it. She calmed down and everything went back to normal... for a while.

 

More recently she found out I was playing a game with a group of 4 people (which I invited her to join, and she did), ONE of which happened to be a random girl I'd never met prior to this. This caused her to turn all sorts of red. She broke up with me on the spot, said she lost all trust in me, and questioned if we could ever be together again. Days later we rekindled a bit, took it slow, courted her again (letters, gifts, the works). We were on track to get back together or so it seemed. Then just the other day I happened to be playing the game when this same girl from before joined the server. A random occurrence. Somehow my GF found out about this (through her friends spying on me I assume, lol). Needless to say she yelled, cussed, cursed, and kicked me out of her life. Deleted me from profiles, never wants to talk to me again, etc (this wouldn't be the first time though).

 

My question is... does all this sound reasonable? Was I in the wrong?

 

But the clincher to the story is this: the entire time we've been together I was fine with her playing with any guy she wanted to, as many as she wanted to. It's just online gaming, right? And she would play with many different guys for many hours. She even hung out with guys in person. She was spending up to 8 hours at a time with one particular guy during a period of our turmoil (is that suspicious?). During our last break up she was kind enough to inform she regretted not cheating on me all the times she could have. Yet I'm the one who's not to be trusted? These incidents occurring during the time I asked if she was remaining faithful to me. She said she had no interest in other guys, didn't want anyone else, etc. How wrong I was?

 

I'm trying to think about this rationally and would like some outside opinions on the situation. To me, this all seems to be a product of her controlling jealousy issues. The double standard is flagrant in my mind.

 

I did also meet her while playing a PC game. Maybe that plays into her fear of me finding another gal online.

 

so, are you actually dating this girl in real life? or is she your MMO girlfriend online?

blotter Established Member

blotter

Posted
Posted

Well if nothing else here's a lesson: don't ignore red flags like this "She told me long ago she had "insane jealousy" issues. I told her "sure, ok, no big deal, etc"". That's a huge red flag and you just wrote it off, BIG mistake.

Cyberpunk Member

Cyberpunk

Posted
Posted

I don't mean to laugh OP, but I think this is one of the funniest break-up stories I've read on here. :p

 

Okay, a few questions:

 

1) How old are the both of you?

2) Is she an online girlfriend or do you know her IRL?

3) Diablo III?

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