tipsyleprachauns Posted June 13, 2012 Posted June 13, 2012 (edited) So, hey. I haven't posted or been around here in a while. I've been doing my best to distance myself from the whole situation. As those of you who followed my story will know, I got myself into a pretty good situation of having looked at and worked on myself and continue to do so. Since then I've also met someone and started to date her casually. I'm not crazy about her and not looking for anything serious, but she's lovely, and I really enjoy spending time with her. Then... Driving home from a night shift at work, I just drove past the ex. With the new boy she started dating less than 2 months after breaking up with me, arm in arm, topless him, walking back from a club with friends. They're both medical students and been out celebrating exam results. It's a kick in the balls. It hurt, seeing them together for the first time. It hurt how it's exactly 6 months since we broke up to the day and I still think about her an awful lot. It hurt how she'd never go on nights out with me, because I wasn't a medic and she wanted to do it with them. He gets to have what I didn't and what caused a lot of friction. It just generally hurts a lot. I guess I'm surprised as it didn't feel quite like I expected, knowing the day would come. I didn't feel sick. But I feel sad, knowing she really is 100% someone elses now. And knowing it's been going on for 4 months and I'd expected it to crumble before them - him not being christian, her supposedly being a very serious one. I was sure that it was gigs or rebound or whatever you wish to call it. Not that I'd get her back but that one day she'd open her eyes and learn from what she did to me at least. Seems she gets to break up with me, use me to get over me and deal with it all in the most selfish of ways- yet still come out smelling of roses. Whilst 6 months on, I'm posting this. Here. I don't really know why I'm posting. I guess, I just needed to vent feelings for the first time in a while. I miss her a hell of a lot. She's been acting weird on the rare occasion we've come into contact. Acting in various ways very confused and young and unsure what she wants. She looked pretty sure tonight, and I wish I hadn't seen it. After all the insane amounts this girl has hurt me, I still love her. So much. I haven't really taken a single step towards indifference, and I can't see it on the horizon. Virtual hugs please guys. Edited June 13, 2012 by tipsyleprachauns
LoveAnimals Posted June 13, 2012 Posted June 13, 2012 Im sorry But remember things are not always how they seem. *hugs*
Tiera D Posted June 13, 2012 Posted June 13, 2012 brotherly hugs bro you can survive this its normal,i tailed my ex abit whenever i see them,but that emotion usually is gone overnight.Concerning the new girl perhaps i think its time to start a new chapter now? TD
Author tipsyleprachauns Posted June 13, 2012 Author Posted June 13, 2012 I'm just so tired of it all guys. It's been 6 months to the day and I love her no less than I always did. I hate it. Unconditional love is ill placed and rubbish! I had that I can fall out of it even after she's put me through the most painful year of my life so far. As far as starting a new chapter goes, I'd love to. But I can't properly. I'm scared of getting attached as I'm just getting used to that single feeling and find I can't open up anywhere near as much as I could before. Not to mention I haven't met a single person since, including new girl I'm dating, who comes anywhere close to making me feel as head over heels as the ex. You know, the one who's out partying living it up and having a great time doing all the things she wouldn't do with me or said she never wanted to.
Double D Posted June 15, 2012 Posted June 15, 2012 *virtual hugs* Your life is bout you not your ex. Learn what you can about yourself your ur relationship with your ex and progress with the next chapter of your life. Don't let seeing your ex set back all the steps you having been making in moving all with your life. *virtual hugs*
Tiera D Posted June 16, 2012 Posted June 16, 2012 you know what tips i think i can advise you.How about take a trip overseas?i think you are not ready to be in a relationship but that doesnt mean you cannot have tons of female friends,use this opportunity to know the new girl better..I understand the connection with the ex last very long it takes time to get over it. One more thing unless you are the partyparty type i suggest you dont force yourself to like it,you will get burned some day..my two cents TD
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