k100danny Posted June 12, 2012 Posted June 12, 2012 I feel me and my now e have just broken up for good this evening. I really don't know what to do with myself I feel so low and this was the only place i felt i could turn. I will give a basic run down of our relationship. we got together around 7 months ago and it was quite intense from the start. we have always had little arguments and at times have said we will call it a day i think basically both of us just wanting a reaction or to feel loved and not wanting to actually break up. I knew from that start that she planned to travel this summer with a friend and work with horses, I suppose i thought if we fall in love she wont want to leave but i did say i would never ask her to stay because i have no right and she has to do what will make her happy. when it came to her leaving she cried and said she didn't know if she wanted to go, she said she was younger when she had made plans to go and she didnt want to leave me. I told her she had worked so hard working 7 days a week to save the money to go so she should go and If she doesn't like it she can always come home. I will be here and we can speak every day ect. She did leave but i admit i wanted her to stay but it had to be what SHE wanted not what i wanted. I wanted her to want to stay if that makes sense. so anyway a couple of days go by with her away and i admit i am annoyed that she left so maybe im being a little bitter when she calls. she gets to the place she is working for the summer at around day 4 after some sight seeing and calls me in tears. She said she is overwhelmed and not sure what she is doing there. I comforted her and said give it a few days if you don't like it you can come home or i will try and come out and get you. anyway the phone calls werent as often as we had planned but she was working 12 hours a day and when she did call i admit i was a bit off with her, I suppose i made her feel guilty about leaving and choosing travelling over me. I didnt mean to make her feel bad maybe subconciously. anyway a few days later she asks if i will send her some pictures of me and a few things to remind her of home which i do and she also asked if i could send her some cheap work underwear for a certain reason (i wont go into detail) I make th pckage of the things she requested, jeans, underwear, some books, some chocolate, photos ect and send it out. when i tell her the type of underwear i had sent she was not happy it's not the type she wears and I felt she was so ungrateful. The package cost me around £50 $80 to send to her and i just felt it was wrong for her to be ungrateful for it. I constantly paid for dinner and stuff while we she was here and treat her like a princess really. because i earn a lot more money and she was saving to go away. anyway i felt a bit bitter about this in the end and made a few comments about it. we had an argument that day and i said i want happy feeling like i did everything and got nothing in return and i wouldnt be calling her ect. 4 days go by and i hadnt text or called and i was checking to see if she had called which she didnt. I was hoping she would and asure me things were going to be ok. I was feeling helpless, down and lonely. on the 4th day she sends me a message on facebook that says " I will be hiding my relationship status and then changing it to single because i don't want people to ask questions i just thought id let you know" I thought this was kind of a way to get my attention so i didnt feel we were actually ending as we had had things like this happen before. I didnt reply right away. she then changed her status to " so very very happy at the moment, lovely country and lovely horses and people" I saw this also as a way to get my attention as she had done stuff like that before just so i made a comment or got in touch. I didnt. a bit later i reply saying thank you for telling me, im sorry for everything but youre right. she doesnt change her status but messages back saying thank you for the package, i will send your watch back. I am really enjoying it now ive settled in with the work ect. a few messages go back and forth nothing nasty just chatting but she doesnt change her relationship status. then i get angry!!!!!! I say why were you ungrateful, i waited for you to call ect ect. ive tried to do everything i can. and then she replies saying you made me feel guilty about leaving, i love you but we arent getting along, everytime i call i can hear bitterness in your voice ( this was true i was finding it hard to be happy) she said i love you but it's not working, I won't be coming back to england not for a long time. I have nothing to come back for now. We are over. This came as a real shock and i could hear it was true in her voice. I would have put my life on the fact she was just trying to get my attention because she had done it loads of times and i felt i knew what she was doing. anyway we argue on the phone she gets mad and says if you feel like im ungrateful ect and you tell me that then thats why i dont want to be with you. nobody here makes me feel bad. I cant be with you anymore and i dont want to talk so go away. I am heartbroken, maybe we werent meant to be but i feel in two weeks so much has changed. weve been through a lot in a short space of time but i didnt see this as the end until now. I really did try and make this girl happy and loved her more than i ever have anyone before. I know there isnt much i can do and i always knew this might happen if she left but I knew i couldnt ask her to stay. I just wanted to rant really. Im sure im in for a sleepless night. It's so har right now, she is 1500 miles away and i feel so alone.
Philosoraptor Posted June 13, 2012 Posted June 13, 2012 From everything you wrote this has been a very rocky relationship from the start. You've been together 7 months yet have broken up enough for this time to feel real? It doesn't sound like you were a great match from the start. I understand feeling lonely and the more you occupy your time the less you'll feel worried about such things. Just keep busy for now and remove any way you might see her. I'd ditch facebook all together just to eliminate the urge to check up on her.
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