paloma22 Posted June 12, 2012 Posted June 12, 2012 (edited) Hi, So I have been dating this guy I met on OKCupid for probably about a month. We decided to become exclusive, and so far it has been good. He recently went away and was in town this weekend, where a few 'red flags' caught my attention.. For one, he still has the dating apps on his phone. Now I really don't care about this, I know he's no longer on OKC, but he still had the other POF one up and running. Maybe he just forgot, and he even showed me it. Here's the kicker: We were planning on spending the day together saturday, and after randomly getting a text from friends, he asked if i wouldn't mind he he went for lunch, and we would "catch up later on". I have already communicated to him that Im not a booty call, and I felt hurt (expressed this) that he was insensitive in just blowing me off like that, and not inviting me. In his defence he said he didn't think I was ready to meet friends, but he never even asked. Anyways, he didn't go for lunch, and hung out with me. He said its been a while since he's "done this" as in be in a relationship, and hes not the kind of guy that likely over thinks what he says to a girl. Not that its an excuse. Later on, we mutually decided to invite his friends for dinner and a hockey game (he wanted to see them too) and he randomly asked in front of one of his friends if I "had any friends downtown tonight" and that "I could stay if I wanted for the game " even though we were already making dinner, and I was already there / clearly expecting to stay! After dinner and the game, he told me he was glad i stayed, and we went for a walk, got ice cream, and spent the night/ rest of the next day until I drove him to the airport. If you are still with me, we are now doing long distance for a month, and he said he wants to start talking on the phone to keep in touch. But I can't help but question his motives, and his commitment to me. We are both starting very important years come september, and neither thought we would be in relationships. However, we both expressed we like each other... I guess I am afraid of getting hurt, because I do like this guy. I would appreciate your thoughts! **Side note: He still refers to me as his "friend" or girl he's seeing and I guess I do too, or the guy I'm seeing. Is this another red flag? Or is it too soon for Bf/Gf labels? Edited June 12, 2012 by paloma22
dasein Posted June 12, 2012 Posted June 12, 2012 Too soon. You guys should be coming out of the 3-4 dates at this point with little contact in the interim, not being an instant couple. This could be salvaged, but would step back a bit and let him take the reins entirely. This will give you some of the information you need to know to stick with this. Good luck.
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