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Why do people just ignore you?


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Posted

I'm so pissed off right now with this twat who clearly thinks he can do better than me (very much can't).

We were seeing eachother for a few weeks and it was fun but I knew I didn't want anything serious with him, my ex is also still on the scene but no one knows about it. So we had those few weeks and then I haven't seen him for over 2 now so I am happy to let it fizzle out but he has been texting me all the time and saying he wants to come over to see me etc but never does. So the other night when he'd said he was going to come over but didn't...again, I thought F this, I just can't be bothered so I didn't text him back when he asked if we could do something the next day.

This was 3 days ago now and I've heard nothing from him since which is fine as I don't want to be texting someone who clearly wont make an effort and tbh its become boring now. But he was online earlier and I said hello, then he went offline straight away. Then just now I seen that he put a status about getting a new job so I thought I'd congratulate him on it just so there's no awkwardness between us but he went offline again. I just think it's so ****ing rude and don't get why he is ignoring me.

The reason I am bothered about this is because we have mutual friends and I know I will see him again in the future quite a bit and just wanted to be friendly.

Any ideas? Advice?

Posted

Because they're not that into, what else?

Posted

Maybe he was too busy getting better to make time for you but now that you blew him off don't expect the red carpet treatment. I thought you were too good for him after all. Why should you care? It is the indifference and no contact that is getting you all hot and bothered. You are the only one who can stop your own crazy.

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Posted
I knew I didn't want anything serious with him, my ex is also still on the scene but no one knows about it.

 

Generally, people don't give men much credit for picking up on nuances in interpersonal relationships but perhaps he sensed this? In a sense, he was being 'ignored' on one level, based on the quoted statement, in that he wasn't being seriously considered as relationship potential and, at most, was a backburner option while the 'ex was on the scene'.

 

What are the ages here? I ask because of this:

"I'm so pissed off right now with this twat who clearly thinks he can do better than me (very much can't)"

Posted

I agree with Carhill's last statement. That aside, I'd say there is always the chance that the other person is ignoring for a reason. It could be disinterest, or it could be intentional hoping for a specific outcome.

Posted
I'm so pissed off right now with this twat who clearly thinks he can do better than me (very much can't).

We were seeing eachother for a few weeks and it was fun but I knew I didn't want anything serious with him, my ex is also still on the scene but no one knows about it. So we had those few weeks and then I haven't seen him for over 2 now so I am happy to let it fizzle out but he has been texting me all the time and saying he wants to come over to see me etc but never does. So the other night when he'd said he was going to come over but didn't...again, I thought F this, I just can't be bothered so I didn't text him back when he asked if we could do something the next day.

This was 3 days ago now and I've heard nothing from him since which is fine as I don't want to be texting someone who clearly wont make an effort and tbh its become boring now. But he was online earlier and I said hello, then he went offline straight away. Then just now I seen that he put a status about getting a new job so I thought I'd congratulate him on it just so there's no awkwardness between us but he went offline again. I just think it's so ****ing rude and don't get why he is ignoring me.

The reason I am bothered about this is because we have mutual friends and I know I will see him again in the future quite a bit and just wanted to be friendly.

Any ideas? Advice?

I'm pretty sure he can do better than you.

Posted

OP sorry you have been treated rudely. You are a back burner option, he may have several. If one booty call or hangout falls through, he moves down the list, a list that doesn't have your name in the #1 slot. Move on and good luck.

Posted
The reason I am bothered about this is because we have mutual friends and I know I will see him again in the future quite a bit and just wanted to be friendly.

 

Mutual friends provide a 'filter' of sorts. Does his behavior within the group align with his treatment of you? Does he 'flake' on everyone/most people/some people? What say your friends? What's his 'reputation'?

Posted

I've found often the best policy for when people ignore you is to ignore them back.

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