welchgrit Posted June 12, 2012 Posted June 12, 2012 Hello, Pls this may be lengthy. It just that Im really feeling so so hurt. And I believe u need to know the details so u can advise me. Thank you for taking out time to read my story... Im a 23 yr old guy. I have not really had a wonderful dating life. Partly bcos of the things am into. Time has always been an issue. Studying medicine and combining other things, and besides am very selective when it comes to girls, but most times not always able to hook up with the girls of my taste... most times end up entering their friendz zone... esp cos of being too nice. My last failed girl told me: "you are every girls dream, you are handsome, you are nice, you have money and ready to spend, but I am not just into you, there is no chemistry, It wont work.." Thats how it ended. I now started personal developments. Bought dating black book, dating dynamics, double your dating, bad boy formula, etc. I studied. Discovered my mistakes and started trying to live an alpha life style. Decided to lower my standard a little Then I met this girl. My neighbors friend... she came to spend 2 weeks with my next door neighbor. She comes to my room to watch satellite TV. She is a averagely pretty, but a little bit below my standard or dream girl. Initially I ignored her bcos my medical school test were about to begin. When she comes around, am always on my PC reading my slides. She later started showing interest in me. Asking me all banners of questions. Then she said she likes me. I played one or two techniques I learn from dating dynamics on her and it worked. And also Beautiful girls are around me (girls that I hv entered d friend zone and it makes her jealous) We became closer... and she started asking more. If I had a gf. (I lied I did, but an open relationship). she told me she liked me, but it was not kinda proper bcos she too has a bf. (But she does not like her bf at all. That the boy cannot live without her. she is like his life, so she is sticking with him bcos of pity). She likes me, but she has a bf. That she will get over it with time. She does not want to get hurt. I portrayed the bad boy personality, as if I did not care if she has a bf. Advised her to upgrade and get a real man. A man she will luv. She asked if I was capable of luving. she then went ahead to list all the things she wanted in a bf. She even initiated our first kiss. To cut a long story short, I dont know what happened... I fell in love with her. tried having sex, but she turned me down. (She said it will never happen) I started taking her out on dates. I spent time, energy and so much money (much money) on her (She even ask me directly for cash on 2 occasions). When she comes around. We make out, Kiss, touch, finger, etc (after much pressure) but her LMR to sex are so strong and sometimes embarrasing to other neighbors. She likes saying the enemy you know is better than a friend u dont know (referring to her bf, n the fact that she does not know me well) At a point, her bf started to threaten me that her should leave her gf alone. I ignored him. When she saw d messages, she responded that her bf has insecurity issues n she is waiting 4 d rite time n d rite way to get rid of him. She will com 2 me house, put me in the mood, I will put her too, but she will refuse to let me have her. The most painful thing is : she will leave my house to her bf house. I pretended i did not know. It hurts. The more it hurts the more I want to have her. the more I become desperate and the more she turns me down, most time leaving my house insulting me. After a while she will come back and i will start the chase again. The climax: She came to my house. We started romancing, she pulled (except her panties) after I had promised I wont try fking her. Then she asked Why do u like me? Then she said: NEVER EVER SHOW A GIRL HOW MUCH YOU LOVE HER, ELSE SHE WILL TAKE YOU FOR A RIDE! Then she asked: How does it feel like falling in luv? I felt used.... All my money, all my time, all my energy Why she playing me all this while????? I use all techniques to try and break her resistance, almost raping her. She got so angry. I locked my doors. Prevented her from dressing up and going. I was so desperate (my mistake) I almost raped her. She called me all sort of names. I dont respect her feelings. Even her 'boyfriend' will not disrespect her like that. then who am I. Thats why he is better than me.... I should never call her phone again. Deleted my number. Now I know, I have made a terrible mistake... The normal thing is to move on. After all she is not worth the stress. If I go on, I may hurt myself more. But if I stop here, It will/It is already affecting me terribly. I feel so bad. I feel used and dumped. I feel so so so hurt. I know I have made my mistakes, but I dnt want to live with this feeling for the rest of my life. I want to get her back. F**k her and maybe dump her. Pls advise! whats the next step. Should I call her, or should I wait and see if she will call. I dont think she will. What do i do. I dont like the way I am feeling. Thank you for your sincere comments (advise) I appreciate.
Andy_K Posted June 12, 2012 Posted June 12, 2012 You don't sound like a very nice person. Consider whatever hurt you're feeling as Karma.
d'Arthez Posted June 12, 2012 Posted June 12, 2012 Go so a therapist. Seriously. If this is your idea of having fun, you have serious issues, that need attention. Interpersonal skills being just one of them. I'd fear for any woman who would be dependent on your medical expertise.
Author welchgrit Posted June 12, 2012 Author Posted June 12, 2012 You don't sound like a very nice person. Consider whatever hurt you're feeling as Karma. Thank you for your sincere and direct response. I appreciate. This is why I lke forums. people can tell you the truth to your face. I may not sound nice, but am nice. Extremely nice naturally. Just that being nice for the past years did not get me a gf. (Nice guys finish last). Bn with a girl for more than 2 yrs without having sex with her. Bad boy formula and other dating tutorials blame me for being too nice. Hence i drifted a bit. All the same thank you for the comment... But why karma... did I do wrong. thnk u.
Author welchgrit Posted June 12, 2012 Author Posted June 12, 2012 @d'Arthez: Thank You for responding. I cannot face/stand a therapist. I can only post a forum. (Anonymous) and see if I can get assiatance. Pls advise if you can. I fell in lv with this girl, but it obvious she was using me. We spent quality time together off the bedroom. Went out... parks, beaches, clubs, Chinese restaurants. Spoke fore hours fore head to forehead about each other and almost everything. I could not just resist her. What now I feel used. Interpersonal skill: I let her do more of the talking while I listen. Where exactly do u think I defaulted. Pls let me know?
Andy_K Posted June 12, 2012 Posted June 12, 2012 Thank you for your sincere and direct response. I appreciate. This is why I lke forums. people can tell you the truth to your face. I may not sound nice, but am nice. Extremely nice naturally. Just that being nice for the past years did not get me a gf. (Nice guys finish last). Bn with a girl for more than 2 yrs without having sex with her. Bad boy formula and other dating tutorials blame me for being too nice. Hence i drifted a bit. All the same thank you for the comment... But why karma... did I do wrong. thnk u. Messing with a girl who has a boyfriend is not exactly a very moral thing to do. Sure, she's the one with the boyfriend, but you've got to take responsibility for the behaviours you encourage in others too. What you should have done was issued her with an ultimatum - dump the bf, or you stop seeing her. The moral reasons are obvious, but in terms of what you've been studying, that's the high-value 'alpha' thing to do. It shows you can take or leave her; you're the one with the value. Of course she might not choose you, but that's life. You find someone else if that happens. Start by going for single girls. Not only is it a more responsible/mature thing to do, but you'll get less LMR. I can understand your frustration, but dating/sex is more about picking the right girl than it is getting one particular one to like you.
d'Arthez Posted June 12, 2012 Posted June 12, 2012 The interpersonal skills? By using all this badboy literature and all that. Be yourself. She may simply have figured out you were playing a game, and decided to return the favour. Not everybody will like honesty, but if you want a real long term relationship, even fewer will like the badboy cr*p. And no one who is emotionally healthy will. The reason I think you could greatly benefit from seeing a professional is: I use all techniques to try and break her resistance, almost raping her. I want to get her back. F**k her and maybe dump her. Read that again. And contemplate how messed up your actions and motivations were. For someone who is supposedly working in a humane and caring profession (or at least a profession with noble goals), you display a dreadful attitude. You have a chance to do it before you start working as a professional. One real life case where you screw up like that (you can get legal coverage for medical screw ups, but the damage to your reputation would follow you for the rest of your life), and your life will effectively be over.
Author welchgrit Posted June 12, 2012 Author Posted June 12, 2012 The interpersonal skills? By using all this badboy literature and all that. Be yourself. She may simply have figured out you were playing a game, and decided to return the favour. Not everybody will like honesty, but if you want a real long term relationship, even fewer will like the badboy cr*p. And no one who is emotionally healthy will. The reason I think you could greatly benefit from seeing a professional is: Read that again. And contemplate how messed up your actions and motivations were. For someone who is supposedly working in a humane and caring profession (or at least a profession with noble goals), you display a dreadful attitude. You have a chance to do it before you start working as a professional. One real life case where you screw up like that (you can get legal coverage for medical screw ups, but the damage to your reputation would follow you for the rest of your life), and your life will effectively be over. Thank You. This is not really the real me. I was not playing games with her initially... It got infuriated when she asked me those questions. She said. Never you ever show a girl how much you love her or she will take you for a ride... Now tell me, How does it feel like falling in luv? I felt like if she was actually using my head all this while. I dont want to use her and dumb her. That was not my aim. I fell in luv with this girl. She made me fall in lv with her and besides I need companionship. I need her. What do u advise I do at this point.
d'Arthez Posted June 12, 2012 Posted June 12, 2012 This is not really the real me. If it was not the real you, you would not even have considered writing these things. You want to deny it is the real you, but deep down, you actually want to act on these impulses. And that is a huge concern.
JWRP Posted June 12, 2012 Posted June 12, 2012 You need to learn to respect a woman's boundaries. tried having sex, but she turned me down. (She said it will never happen) finger, etc (after much pressure) I use all techniques to try and break her resistance, almost raping her. I played one or two techniques Read that again. And contemplate how messed up your actions and motivations were. For someone who is supposedly working in a humane and caring profession (or at least a profession with noble goals), you display a dreadful attitude. Hows your bedside manner? Tried or thought about having sex with patients? You need to get help if you are seriously in medical school and not capable of mature emotional behavior. You need to be able distinguish love from your penis saying 'look wet hole'. Also love and money never go together. If you loved this girl you'd NEVER say this, She is a averagely pretty, but a little bit below my standard or dream girl You sound like you'll gladly prey on the first vulnerable attractive female that arrives to you unconscious or ETOH - 'almost raping her'... That happens a lot in the field and you have 'almost raped' a girl that has informed you she does not want sex for multiple days in advance while she was not in a vulnerable emotional/mental/physical state. You are not mature enough to be a physician if you will prey on patients; as all you are going to see is humans on their worst day. First thought about this: Troll.
dasein Posted June 12, 2012 Posted June 12, 2012 The asking you for money is a definite sign of use, but hanging around soaking up your attention is not a sign of using you. Your eyes were open, or should have been, in getting attached to a girl in a relationship. Seek available options, not unavailable ones going forward. This girl has told you it isn't going to happen, time to move on permanently. Keep reading the types of things you are reading, but realize those aren't roadmaps or magic formulas to get women, just ways for you to begin the process of self-reflection and building habits that will bring you success through long term character development. Good luck.
JWRP Posted June 12, 2012 Posted June 12, 2012 (edited) Sick troll at that:( Either way; this person has these thoughts about being in a position of power around vulnerable people (a physician, I bet next one is a cop; although he sounds very firefighter esque to me having worked in them for 4 years now). Then immediately shows us he will not respect boundaries, when stated verbally and when known through societies norms and values. Prevented her from dressing up and going. I was so desperate (my mistake) I almost raped her. She called me all sort of names. I dont respect her feelings. I missed the seriousness of this statement. You are aware you wrong, you know you behave incorrectly or troll and dream about these events... You aren't right man. Troll or not; seek help. PROFESSIONAL HELP. Show them this story you made up as well, state the 'public's concern about your ability to be in positions of power'. Edit - If this girl calls anyone its the police. Edited June 12, 2012 by JWRP You got told no.
TigerCub Posted June 12, 2012 Posted June 12, 2012 You are so disturbed. So you almost rape a girl because she wont give it to you willingly? You deserved to get played because you set out to play her in the first place - using your special "techniques" - ooooh you big playa you. And since you were not any good at it and she used you instead of it working the other way around you now boohoo about it like a little bitch and talk about how you had no respect for her feelings and you pressured her into doing certain acts and you almost raped her. You need a whole team of therapists. Her actions towards you were not right either - but you have no right to try to play someone and use them then come crying when it got flipped on you. And you talk about how things never worked out with you before because you're too nice - yeah it amazes me how guys who don't have game and aren't "bad boys" think it makes them "too nice" by default.
utterer of lies Posted June 12, 2012 Posted June 12, 2012 I was not playing games with her initially... It got infuriated when she asked me those questions. She said. Never you ever show a girl how much you love her or she will take you for a ride... Now tell me, How does it feel like falling in luv? I felt like if she was actually using my head all this while. I dont want to use her and dumb her. That was not my aim. I fell in luv with this girl. She made me fall in lv with her and besides I need companionship. I need her. What do u advise I do at this point. May I ask you a question: are you Indian?
sid3 Posted June 12, 2012 Posted June 12, 2012 You are so disturbed. So you almost rape a girl because she wont give it to you willingly? You deserved to get played because you set out to play her in the first place - using your special "techniques" - ooooh you big playa you. And since you were not any good at it and she used you instead of it working the other way around you now boohoo about it like a little bitch and talk about how you had no respect for her feelings and you pressured her into doing certain acts and you almost raped her. You need a whole team of therapists. Her actions towards you were not right either - but you have no right to try to play someone and use them then come crying when it got flipped on you. And you talk about how things never worked out with you before because you're too nice - yeah it amazes me how guys who don't have game and aren't "bad boys" think it makes them "too nice" by default. From what I've read, nice guys are some of the biggest a**holes out there. I fail to see how this thread should be taken seriously, maybe I'm just not use to seeing such moronic behavior.
TigerCub Posted June 12, 2012 Posted June 12, 2012 From what I've read, nice guys are some of the biggest a**holes out there. I fail to see how this thread should be taken seriously, maybe I'm just not use to seeing such moronic behavior. haha, yeah I've seen a my share of falsely labelled "nice guys" - it always makes me wonder if they really believe it. Oh well... Genuine Nice guys are treasures, but guys who can't get laid and think that it automatically means they are nice guys and girls only want "bad boys" are quite silly.
sid3 Posted June 12, 2012 Posted June 12, 2012 haha, yeah I've seen a my share of falsely labelled "nice guys" - it always makes me wonder if they really believe it. Oh well... Genuine Nice guys are treasures, but guys who can't get laid and think that it automatically means they are nice guys and girls only want "bad boys" are quite silly. Kind of odd isn't it. Nice girls are treasure too. 1
Author welchgrit Posted June 13, 2012 Author Posted June 13, 2012 Thanks to all... JWRPdiasein, tigercub and others. I really appreciate your response. Im feeling more bad now than before I posted on this forum. Do I call her and apologize?
spookie Posted June 13, 2012 Posted June 13, 2012 Thanks to all... JWRPdiasein, tigercub and others. I really appreciate your response. Im feeling more bad now than before I posted on this forum. Do I call her and apologize? No, you leave her alone and get some therapy! What a disturbing thread...
sid3 Posted June 13, 2012 Posted June 13, 2012 No, you leave her alone and get some therapy! What a disturbing thread... Wow, now you're rainning on this guy's parade! Please consider telling people what they want to hear in the future.I won't report you this time, just a warning;)
DontWorryBHappy Posted June 13, 2012 Posted June 13, 2012 Uhhh... I agree with everyone that said this is a disturbing thread. Here's what you do: - Go to a therapist and work on the fact that you had the urge to rape someone and are now having to urge to get them back just so you can use them and throw them away. - Never contact the girl again.
sid3 Posted June 13, 2012 Posted June 13, 2012 Uhhh... I agree with everyone that said this is a disturbing thread. Here's what you do: - Go to a therapist and work on the fact that you had the urge to rape someone and are now having to urge to get them back just so you can use them and throw them away. - Never contact the girl again. Why feed the troll...
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