JacqueB Posted June 12, 2012 Posted June 12, 2012 Short background: So, I met this girl at work and thought seriously about not pursuing it for just that reason. But, I didn't listen to myself and here I am in this awkward situation. It's a very small workplace, so it's not likely that I will not see her. We've been hanging out for a few weeks but dating officially just a week. Yes, a week. We're both in our early twenties, I'm a few years older. Neither of us currently in school or anything, just working. She's been out of relationships for about a year or so, and me for 2 years or so. Anyway, so everything started off pretty standard: we both liked each other, spent a lot of time together. Looking back, a little too much. But we both agreed on hanging out and both brought up ideas about hanging out. After a few days of officially dating, she started acting distant and a little cold. I just didn't feel like she was my girlfriend at all, just a friend or coworker really. Wouldn't text back for hours, wouldn't return phone calls. So, I got the hint. Asked her what was up - she said she needed some space for a few days. Said we could still be friendly and hang out, but she said "not that I just want to be friends". She said things were just going a little fast and she needed to think and make sure she could do the relationship thing. So I waited 3 or 4 days, nothing at all from her of course. Still in a relationship on facebook (not that it really matters, but it does make things more awkward when you don't know what you are). I didn't text or call her at all. Saw her briefly at work a few times, and the convo consisted of "hey whats up" and not even saying bye to each other or talking at all. Texted her once and called her once tonight to try to meet up and talk, basically with the plans to tell her this wasn't working for me. I respect that she wants space, but to me, we're only a week in so if she needs that much time without talking to me whatsoever to figure something out then it's probably not going to work out period. I don't want to be with someone who has to question being with me that hard. But as I expected, she didn't answer the text or call. So I followed up with a text saying that I just couldn't do it anymore, that it wasn't going to work for me and I hoped we could at least be friends (since we work together - otherwise it's not my thing to want to be friends). I didn't want to do it through text, but I felt I had no other option. I'm not going to have that conversation DURING work, which was the only time we (barely) talked in the last week. Should i have handled it differently, or did I do the "right" thing?
InJest Posted June 12, 2012 Posted June 12, 2012 You did the right thing. She's not communicating, so there wasn't much you could do. She was probably hoping for it, so it's good you didn't waste more time. Even if she comes back, don't get involved emotionally, just a sex buddy until you find someone worth your time.
smith9800 Posted June 12, 2012 Posted June 12, 2012 If she doesnt want to communicate, then you cant do anything at all. So, dont think anything wrong..you are doing the right thing..
Author JacqueB Posted June 12, 2012 Author Posted June 12, 2012 I may have posted this in the wrong section, should probably be in Breaks and Breakups. Anyway, thanks for the responses. I'm the kind of person who doesn't really ever feel comfortable breaking up or whatever by text, but I really didn't have an option. I still think it's really immature that she won't even communicate at all. Just really sketchy. It's good to know that other people think I did the right thing though. I mean, I'm not going to just sit here when I don't want to be in something and wait for her to contact me. And I don't want to feel bad about hanging out with other girls. If you can't even get in touch with your girlfriend to break up with her, things have to be pretty bad. I hid my relationship status on facebook just because I didn't want to end the relationship on there without being sure that she got the text - another good reason not to do it over text. But she still hasn't responded or changed her status on facebook. Soooo...what do I do from here? Just wait til the end of the day or so and then change my status? Or just say F it and go ahead and do it? I guess I figured like InJest said that she was probably waiting on it, so I thought it'd be done by now.
InJest Posted June 12, 2012 Posted June 12, 2012 Just change the status and stop worrying about it. She doesn't want to be with you, and is avoiding you until you go away.
Author JacqueB Posted June 12, 2012 Author Posted June 12, 2012 Done and done. Oh well, it is what it is I suppose.
dasein Posted June 12, 2012 Posted June 12, 2012 Yes, that was acceptable on your part. In the future never move this fast. Never ever get "official" with a woman until she is practically pleading you after lots of dates and lots of sex. That's the way it is, they dictated that it be that way, so do what works. Good luck.
Oxy Moronovich Posted June 12, 2012 Posted June 12, 2012 Start looking for another chick. This one is a waste of time.
SJC2008 Posted June 12, 2012 Posted June 12, 2012 Yall have been dating for a week and put in a r on facebook?? Did you initiate that? If so mabye she felt pressured. Write this whole thing off and forget about it. I'll never date someone at the work place unless one of us is on the way out.
Freddys Posted June 12, 2012 Posted June 12, 2012 Hey, Probably you looked desperate to her. You weren't a "challenge" . . . While dating any woman, first of all you try to give her FREE of charge good feelings and amazing-unique dates. You text her, she flakes, no big deal . . "It's her lose". Woman, accept things in any kind of relationship when they 're "FREE" ! Last but no least, always let the WOMAN guide labels . . .
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