wonderingSoul Posted June 12, 2012 Posted June 12, 2012 Ok well heres the lowdown. I met this chic online we hit it off well. Its been about 6 weeks since we met and we hungout about 3 times. She lives close by but in another state and were both pretty busy with life ect ect. the last time we hungout was this previous saturday and it went well. One thing i have a problem with is keeping up the long distance convo. She brought it up about how we barely talk, i told her texting is not my forte, and she said she was fine with it that i shouldnt worry. Now today i tried to hit her up on fb and she just never responded. Now i dont know what i should do, i want to just try and call her but its too late for that now. Maybe im just thinking too much into it. But it seems like we both really like eachother. She did come all the way out here to see me and shes the one who created the plans for the last hangout session. She even said she wanted to do the same thing again next month. NOw im not good with getting to trust someone easily but with her just not responding to a simple convo is really irking me. She seems flighty and its really not helping my situation. So i wanna just call her tomorrow after work and have a convo. Im sure if she just dont respond i should justleave it be. What are your thoughts?
Philosoraptor Posted June 12, 2012 Posted June 12, 2012 Maybe she hadn't seen the message yet? Maybe she met someone closer to her? All you can do is be direct and let her know what you're feeling. All you're doing is wasting time with the guessing though.
Ninjainpajamas Posted June 12, 2012 Posted June 12, 2012 You have to understand that women can be afraid to invest too much, being that you kinda pulled away saying you don't text much made her feel like maybe she should pull off a bit. Since she made efforts and plans to see you, it's obvious she is interested in you, so at this point you need to show her that you also have mutual interest and wiling to put the effort into her. In long distance relationships it's about communication, you need to consider that before as you progress with this because If writing and expressing yourself isn't your thing you may find it annoying since all your skills or beliefs are about being in person only, that's not going to hold this together for very long. Be honest with yourself how much of your time and effort you're willing to invest in this, and also be honest with you before it starts to heat up, communicate how you're feeling dont be afraid what she thinks and what not so much, just say your piece and communicate just don't go overboard which you don't sound like a guy to me that will, you sound like the kinda guy that needs to say more and express more. Long distance relationships require: - phone calls(how was your day to day, who's your daddy, blah blahblah) - texting (just thinking about you, just got my new speedos for the pool, blah blah blah) - emails/facebook (I did this today, found my gold tooth in the sink, heres what im thinking and all that crap, blahblah blah) You need to consistently keep in contact and this will only get more important if you get into a relationship, she's already telling you that you don't talk a lot, take what women tell you as hints and listen to their needs, don't just ignore them...if you can't do it then you can't do it It's not very everyone. 1
Author wonderingSoul Posted June 12, 2012 Author Posted June 12, 2012 I see what u r saying I just hope its not too late. One thing I've always had a problem with is self expression when dealing with woman and that never helps. I learned a valuable lesson a while back and I'm doing things differently now. I just don't wanna push so hard I end up pushing her away. That's one of thats one of my fears in this situation a friend once told me when a girl likes a guy there is no such thing as too much. My other friend.told me I have to breakout of my comfort zone whichi I know I can so I just have to do what's ur daily limit on trying to contact a girl? I do one a day and.leave.it at that ur thoughts?
Ninjainpajamas Posted June 12, 2012 Posted June 12, 2012 It's very likely not too late, however the longer you wait the possibility rises. You have to look at things in terms of windows, because women are emotionally invested and live by the moment. So when they open that window, you've got X amount of time to react and make a move? does that make sense...because If you wait until after the window is closed then you've already missed out...you can't go back or say oh now im ready, and she might have changed her mind or essentially came out of that moment causing her to feel different. A womans emotions can be eratic and unpredictable and changing constantly based on the factors in her environment. Men think, women feel...using your rational sense will only leave you lost and misguided. Six weeks into it, don't worry about pushing a woman away. You've got to make real efforts to express yourself, even If you're not good at it, it doesn't necessarily matter...women recognize and appreciate the effort, especially if its sincere and genuine, so as long as it's that way then don't be afraid. Another thing is, If you're used to being distant or had issues with that...lack of expressin and communication, it's going to feel overboard being that way but remember that's just beause its awkard for you, don't be afraid to just do it because chances are you'll land where you need to be....just don't overzealous and over the top, don't like go to the extreme extreme, just do something that makes you feel uncomfortable and out of your normal zone, don't try too hard, just simply do it. Women typically like consistent contact, normally between twice or three times a day depending...relationship definitely, just don't be afraid to shoot her a text, chances are she wants to hear from you..don't worry about smothering her unless she says shes really busy or what not but dont just go cold turkey. Expression is a good thing, eventuall you'll learn the balance but If you never trya nd are afraid you'll never learn and ask for feedback, communicate with women...you can always adjust and get on the right page. At this point i think you really need to make this girl feel important to you or relevant. 1
Author wonderingSoul Posted June 12, 2012 Author Posted June 12, 2012 Thanks man ur Advice is really helping me right about now I think ur gointo be my new guru on these matters lol honestly it is making me feel better. I have to just do it u know. I'm 26 and the only real relationship I ever had never panned.out because ofu lack of.comunication. Maybe u can throw me some tips upon how. Do it
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