livelife Posted June 12, 2012 Posted June 12, 2012 Me and my now ex have been together for 5 months, and we both were crazy about eachother. both perfect for eachother. Till the other night, everything just blew up. Miscommunication, and breakng up on impulse during an argument. I took it back instantly, he said we could work it out in the morning. Morning comes, he needs space and time. Takes it offline without talking to me, sends me all these sad songs and quotes. Talks to me when he wants to, but also keeps some space. Won't talk to me in person. Yesterday I texted him saying I was thinking of him and missed him. He said he had been thinking about me all day and we could meet up tomorrow (today.) Today we met up, all I could do was cry. we were supposed to go grab lunch, he couldn't take me out in public because I was crying so much. Basically we talked about what happened to the extent I could (saying it was a mistake) and he said we would be okay, to trust him. He has texted me quite a bit today, I asked him if this meant that we would see other people, He needs time for himself, to figure somethings out, family, whatever. So he said I cant force you to not see anyone, but i'm not worried about seeing anyone. my priorities are fixing myself and fixing us. He has been talking about how great of a couple we are. Since I didn't get to say everything I needed to say today, I wrote it in a message and sent it to him. I also wrote a heartfelt note that i'm sending to his mailbox tomorrow, and i'm letting it sit from there. He can come to me after that, I just need to give him memories and how I feel. What is the best approach to take when hes still contacting me? When we hang out, what do I do? How do I speed up his space and time and get us back together? Because I do think there is hope. ***This break up happened on Saturday morning at like 4 am!! Its very recent. He texts me mentioning that the bed is empty, then he texts me discouraging things such as, thats the beauty of life *me saying I cant change the past* and then saying that theres bright to every dark situation. Its kinda discouraging, but maybe i'm just being negative right now.
Author livelife Posted June 12, 2012 Author Posted June 12, 2012 I just asked him what I did to make this so difficult to get back...and he said you said two words..."we're done." and I told him I said I've told you it was an honest mistake, you've seen that I mean that.
Rorschach64 Posted June 12, 2012 Posted June 12, 2012 Give him time and space or whatever he wants, don't rush things. I can understand where he is coming from since you just throw out "we're done" because of what I assume is an argument. Though, I can see where him behaving the way he is rather trifiling. Play the game if you want to get back together with him, might not be easy, else wise tell him to kick rocks.
Author livelife Posted June 12, 2012 Author Posted June 12, 2012 Give him time and space or whatever he wants, don't rush things. I can understand where he is coming from since you just throw out "we're done" because of what I assume is an argument. Though, I can see where him behaving the way he is rather trifiling. Play the game if you want to get back together with him, might not be easy, else wise tell him to kick rocks. Thank you, I do see where he is coming from. But all I can tell him is to trust me. I told him i had a note to send him tomorrow, and after that I had nothing else to say. So based off of his response, is if I will be patient, give him time, or if I will just kick him to the curb.
Jono85 Posted June 12, 2012 Posted June 12, 2012 i can definitely sympathize with him. my ex broke up with me on impulse after a big fight. i told her to never talk to me again, and turned my phone off for the night (obv very emotional at the time/immature). she left 4 voicemails saying how cruel i was being to ignore her and how she was sorry etc etc. in the morning we talked, patched things up. i tried to verify that she was indeed committed to us, and that she would fight with me through things etc. that i couldn't be with a girl who could break up with me at the drop of a hat. well 2 weeks later, she broke up with me (2 weeks ago). i was/am crushed (we haven't talked since). we were in a bad month and just fighting a lot. but we've been through worse and made it through. point is, from now on, any girl that just breaks up with me impulsively like that, i'm not sure i'm willing to put in effort to make things work. it's a big red flag.
Author livelife Posted June 12, 2012 Author Posted June 12, 2012 i can definitely sympathize with him. my ex broke up with me on impulse after a big fight. i told her to never talk to me again, and turned my phone off for the night (obv very emotional at the time/immature). she left 4 voicemails saying how cruel i was being to ignore her and how she was sorry etc etc. in the morning we talked, patched things up. i tried to verify that she was indeed committed to us, and that she would fight with me through things etc. that i couldn't be with a girl who could break up with me at the drop of a hat. well 2 weeks later, she broke up with me (2 weeks ago). i was/am crushed (we haven't talked since). we were in a bad month and just fighting a lot. but we've been through worse and made it through. point is, from now on, any girl that just breaks up with me impulsively like that, i'm not sure i'm willing to put in effort to make things work. it's a big red flag. Okay, so you've been through it...what would be the right steps to getting him back?
Jono85 Posted June 12, 2012 Posted June 12, 2012 Okay, so you've been through it...what would be the right steps to getting him back? i can't speak for him and his wants, but personally, i would want my girl to do as you're doing and apologize sincerely. to stress that if you could do anything to take it back you would. tell him how immature it was, and how you could never imagine breaking up with him over something so stupid. but if you've said all the right things and he still isn't budging, just give him space. maybe he's had bad experiences with this as well. what's done is done, you've owned up to it, all you can do is hope he takes you back and learn from the mistake/not ever impulsively break up with someone again.
Author livelife Posted June 12, 2012 Author Posted June 12, 2012 i can't speak for him and his wants, but personally, i would want my girl to do as you're doing and apologize sincerely. to stress that if you could do anything to take it back you would. tell him how immature it was, and how you could never imagine breaking up with him over something so stupid. but if you've said all the right things and he still isn't budging, just give him space. maybe he's had bad experiences with this as well. what's done is done, you've owned up to it, all you can do is hope he takes you back and learn from the mistake/not ever impulsively break up with someone again. He now understands why I said it on impulse like I did, but now his focus is how how I was jealous and insecure in the relationship.
Author livelife Posted June 14, 2012 Author Posted June 14, 2012 We met up today, I got out what I wanted to say, and I also mentioned that I had to think about this, because I couldn't wait on him forever. He got upset about some things, his mom messaging me about it, his friends messaging me about it, so he was rude to me today. He just texted me and said i'm sorry i'm being an ******* I'm just scared and he said I never wanted to see you hurt. I said "well it happened." and he said I'm scared of being in pain again. Im scared to watch you walk away again. Im scared to not be good enough. im scared that you are interested in other people. I replied, "I don't know what to tell you. I've said everything I possibly can. You won't know what can happen, you just take a risk and hope for the best. and we work on it together. you are good enough, why do you think I drove 20 minutes out of my way to get your favorite doughnuts with a 5 page note attached " and all he said was... " im just sorry." Can someone tell me what is possibly going through his mind and How I can help him just trust me?
skyisfalling Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 you're giving him way too much control. As hard as it is, take a step back and give him some space. I am in the same situation as you, broke up with my bf on impulse and have been begging him back. At least in your situation he was willing to talk to you and meet up with you I had no such choice. I'm forced to swallow the pill and accept what I did. Give hiim some space. Let him come to you.
Author livelife Posted June 14, 2012 Author Posted June 14, 2012 We texted a little tonight and hes upset. he says he is broken. he says he needs to fix himself before he can fix us. I said Listen either you have me or its the highway, you need to decide- no in the middle. He hasnt responded. Little tricky one! But I hate making him decide, but I cant fix myself unless im either with him, or on my own. its less stress for the both of us. This is heart breaking. Because it wasnt supposed to happen.
Author livelife Posted June 14, 2012 Author Posted June 14, 2012 he kept saying, please dont make me choose. I'm not ready for that. I feel horrible, I really do. And I really love the guy, its just you know something that needs to be done.
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