innocent Posted June 29, 2004 Posted June 29, 2004 My problem is that I am having a hard time first of all with being embarassed about doing sexual things with my boyfriend. I know that he loves me and cares about me. I just hear so much about girls smelling bad down there, and how much guys hate doing things down there. I have never heard my boyfriend say this. And i don't think that he ever would. He had always tried to make me feel comfortable and tell me that I am perfect down there. I just can't get these things out of my head and be comfortable doing these things. I guess it is really my problem and not his. I just need help with getting over it. Any body ever had this problem? Or even have hints? I don't really have any good girl friends to talk about this with. I have tried to talk about this with my boyfriend, and he has helped me a little bit, but it is just that I am extremely self-concious and have low self-esteem, and that is the main problem that causes this. So please don't bash my boyfriend he is never anything but helpful, and please don't bash me either, I want to do these things with him, he has never forced it upon me, It was my decision, although I am still a virgin, I just need to get over this.
Pookette Posted June 29, 2004 Posted June 29, 2004 Just do what YOU feel comfortable doing. If your boyfriend is truly understanding, he will let you progress at your own pace. I felt like you when I first started doing "things". Now I'm a sex fiend. Don't worry about how you smell or taste or look or anything. At least you have someone who loves and is loved by you. Not all girls are as lucky with their first sexual experimentation. Have fun!
HokeyReligions Posted June 29, 2004 Posted June 29, 2004 How old are you? If you are insecure or nervous, maybe you are just not ready for sex yet. If you are clean and you notice a fishy-smell from your vagina, you may have a yeast infection. Get checked by a doctor to make sure. Everyone puts out a different scent during different stages of arousal. If you are clean you should not be worried about anything. Do what makes you feel sexy. Shave, trim hair & nails, use lotions to make your skin soft. Don't worry about it.
Author innocent Posted June 29, 2004 Author Posted June 29, 2004 I am 18. My boyfriend is 19. I want to do it, I feel comfortable sometimes when I am with him, but other times i just get self-concious about myself. I feel like I am ready to do these things. I know that I am lucky to have been with him for so long and he be the first person to do these things with. Just the first time I did anything with a guy I was very very drunk, 16, and in high school, and this guy was taking me home, of course my so-called friends just let me go home with this horny a--h---. who was also older than me. he started touch me, and I really didn't know what was going on I was so out of it that I didn't know where I was going. It felt good, but at the same time it hurt because no one had ever touched me before. But I liked him and he just wanted to mess around with me, and that was my first experience. It was awful and I am so thankful to have my boyfriend now. And I have been doing this with him for a long time now, I just really need to get over it. I want to be able to do it and enjoy it, not be thinking about this self-concious c--p that gets into my head.
average guy Posted June 29, 2004 Posted June 29, 2004 Hi innocent, I'm not sure I understand your post correctly, but if you are saying that this other man raped you when you were 16, or even touched you in an agressive way that made you feel uncomfortable, then you should definately being seeing a therapist or school counselour to deal with it. The emotions and psychological trauma of such an experience can affect areas of your life that you are not even aware of (your self esteem, body image, etc.) and you should deal with it now before it begins to create a pattern of behaviour that affects your relationships, etc. Good luck A.G.
Author innocent Posted June 29, 2004 Author Posted June 29, 2004 I wasn't raped i just never said no or stoped him. It was just a bad experience and I am very uptight as some people would say. I was raised very sheltered and anything is a no no. My parents were very strict about boys and didn't trust them and I can understand why. I am not rebelling, because I was never really rebellious. I just feel i want to share this with my boyfriend and because i feel uncomfortable in my own body, and am self-concious, had a bad experience, and it is frowned upon by my parents who do not know, it makes me feel uncomfortable doing it when I want to. I want to enjoy it and not think about all these things but it happens and i know that it has happened to more than just me. I just want to get over thinking this way, and enjoy it. that is all I want. i am sorry if i have shown otherwise in my posts.
Karlise13 Posted June 30, 2004 Posted June 30, 2004 Just take your time. You are lucky if you are with a loving and supportive man who just wants to help you feel good about yourself. Take things at your own pace. There's no deadline! Honestly, at 19, I was still learning a lot about sex. Sex is fun but it can also be REALLY WIERD at first. Especially if your family was uptight about sex (mine was!) Some things just didn't feel 'right' or 'natural' to me for quite some time. It made me upset because in my mind I thought everyone else was out there wooping it up and having great fanastic orgasms while I was 'so so' about a lot of it. I'll tell you what; the older you get, the better it gets! By my mid twenties, I'd finally 'got' what all the hoopla was about! Mostly because my self esteem improved and I got more comfortable with myself. I am in my thirties now and I have to tell you SEX IS AWESOME IN YOUR THIRTIES! So don't be upset. The best is yet to come!
Author innocent Posted June 30, 2004 Author Posted June 30, 2004 Thank You all this helps alot, I don't feel so wierd or alone!
Matilda Posted June 30, 2004 Posted June 30, 2004 I felt the same way you do when I was your age. (A long time ago! ) Take things at your own pace, do only what you feel comfortable with. There are some things you can do to feel more comfortable sexually. There are books on female sexuality that may help you. Lonnie Barbach is one author that comes to mind. But, for the most part, don't rush yourself. I think you would be surprised how many other females your age feel the same way you do.
takiniteasy Posted June 30, 2004 Posted June 30, 2004 "I just hear so much about girls smelling bad down there, and how much guys hate doing things down there." Don't worry...that is completely untrue. Before my girl and I ever had sex, i went "downtown" for the first time on her ... and in all honesty i thought it was awesome! Basically because it drove her crazy and I wanted her to feel like she never has before. No nasty taste, or unpleasent smell. If he hated doing things down there, then he probably wouldnt do it.
Author innocent Posted June 30, 2004 Author Posted June 30, 2004 he doesn't I'm just embarassed. Silly isn't it?
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