ihateslowjams Posted June 11, 2012 Posted June 11, 2012 I want to reconcile, but I'm not sure if i should. we've been broken up for 8 days and she broke it off due to the following reasons: 1. i didn't have the drive and determination to be successful in life. 2. she wanted to be single to see if she can live life by herself since she's never been single. 3.she relied on me too much and wants to stop that. 4.she felt restricted while she was still with me. 5.we're at different stages in our lives-she is 23 and successful, while I'm 27 going to school and work. she makes double i make. 6. I've lost confidence in myself and I've stopped taking her out, showing her new things. we've been together for 3 1/2 years and even if she said all of that, i still want her back. I really want to show up to her place tonight and try to talk to her about it letting her know that within this past week, I've done tons and research and planning and realized my future aspirations and life goals. I really did believe she was the one for me and was planning everything for 2 in my life. Is this a lost cause? should i or should i not show up at her doorstep tonight? please give me advice before i do something ill regret. I feel like if i don't make this last attempt, then she's gone for good. But i know that if i make an attempt, it can also end things for good. Please give me insight and direction.
Rorschach64 Posted June 12, 2012 Posted June 12, 2012 When she says it is over, it is over. You are better off walking away and going NC because you run the risk of escalating things to something worse if you persist. Think about this, you want her back and you are willing to do this dramatic final stand to be with her right? Well, if she wanted to be with you she'd do the same right back at you. I know how you feel man because I was in a similar spot as you about a year ago.
Author ihateslowjams Posted June 12, 2012 Author Posted June 12, 2012 yeah you're right. after reading another thread is to let her go. Its only been one week and i haven't changed anything about myself. I do want her back desperately, but she left me because of the things i have yet to accomplish. Yes, in a romantic ideal world, she would stay, but i can't blame her for leaving me because it is a significant flaw to not finish school yet. I need to get my life on track before i can even make an attempt for her, it just hurts knowing i had to lose her to realize this truth. maybe down the line, after I've matured and grown, she'll come back. However, i must let her live her life to its utmost potential, even if its without me.
Rorschach64 Posted June 12, 2012 Posted June 12, 2012 I understand the great importance of school but to consider it as a significant flaw and to leave you for it is not in the right, so some of that stuff looks like kind of bs reasons to break up with someone. She seems like she is doing the GIGs thang to you, though I am not sure what you mean by lost confidence in yourself but yeah work on yourself and forget about her. If she comes back then awesome, especially since you worked on yourself, and if not you still win cause you come out better in the end.
Author ihateslowjams Posted June 12, 2012 Author Posted June 12, 2012 Well, by confidence, i mean how a few life events occurred that brought me down a lot. My parents are about to separate because my father cheated on my mother, while my mother is constantly trying to get him back, but to no avail. I was also rejected from a couple cal states last year when i applied to transfer, which really shook me down. However, next year, I'm on track and have the necessary GPA and classes to transfer to a UC.
Rorschach64 Posted June 12, 2012 Posted June 12, 2012 Well man, another ask yourself what you would do, if your ex was in the position you were in you wouldn't have felt the same as she did because you love her and would have supported her right? I think it is just cause she wants to cut loose and live her life since she is young and not your fault.
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