ShannanDope Posted June 11, 2012 Posted June 11, 2012 My boyfriend and I have been together for about 3 months now. Things started out well, as they usually do, but now I'm beginning to see another side of him and it frightens me. He has stopped making as much time for me as he used to, like phone calls or texts, and we maybe see each other 2 days out of the week because of his job/my job. I fought hard to stay with him and be here for him when he was just recently going through a tough residence move. I put my issues aside for him. Now I'm starting to think he is the only one "allowed" to have problems if that makes sense, because I feel that I am here for him much more than he is for me. He IS younger...by 4 years. He's only 20. He has these terrible mood swings where he will start yelling at me for something that is completely not my fault. One minute he's prince charming, the next he is Satan. On the other side of the coin...he is so loving and passionate when he is in a good mood, and he makes me laugh even when I'm upset. He has his own place, car, career, etc. which is more than I can say for a lot of men my own age. What scares me is that he has the ability to pick me up and make me feel like a goddess, yet at the same time he could completely destroy me. Is this roller coaster relationship worth he good times? will things begin to level out and just be stable with time? Is that even possible? Thank you for any advice.
pteromom Posted June 11, 2012 Posted June 11, 2012 Is this roller coaster relationship worth he good times? will things begin to level out and just be stable with time? Is that even possible? No, and no. This is who he is. If you stay with him, you will be signing up for a lifetime of the roller coaster. His angry, cruel side is as much a part of him as the loving, passionate side is. Over time, you will become angrier when he is cruel. Resentment will build as you find it hard to let go of the names he calls you and the little comments he makes when he is angry. You will begin to find it difficult to be attracted to him when he is loving and sweet. So that side of things will begin to fade away. The cruel side will still be there, but the good side won't be there to balance it out. Trust me. - Someone who is in an 11 year marriage with someone just like your boyfriend. 1
Author ShannanDope Posted June 11, 2012 Author Posted June 11, 2012 That's what worries me. It's so heart breaking because I feel so strongly for him. I wish there were a way for it to work... Being apart from him would feel devastating at this point. I've invested so much into him.
InJest Posted June 11, 2012 Posted June 11, 2012 What have you invested in 3 months? Clearly it has been too much, since he's taking you for granted already. Just stop calling and start going out with your friends more. If you find a guy you like, dump your b/f.
pteromom Posted June 11, 2012 Posted June 11, 2012 That's what worries me. It's so heart breaking because I feel so strongly for him. I wish there were a way for it to work... Being apart from him would feel devastating at this point. I've invested so much into him. No you haven't. Three months is nothing. I know it will hurt, but you deserve someone who is respectful, kind, and loving to you ALL THE TIME, and you will not ever get that with him. You have to think with your head, not just your heart. 1
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