MissBrunette84 Posted June 11, 2012 Posted June 11, 2012 Ok, my life has gotten a little crazy over the last couple of weeks. I'll make this short and sweet, go back on my posts for my back sorty. My ex has come back to me, saying he wants me back, that he'll talk to his family. Tell them honestly he wants to be with me and chooses me. He said that hes made his choice and I win, he asked me to marry him! All good right? not really because now, I met a guy from a pretty famous rock band here and I have hit it off so well with him, he has invited me to stay with him after he comes home from tour, I actually like him alot he seems like such a genuinly good guy and we get on so well. I'm just confused because my ex and I only broke up about I think its about 6 or 7 weeks ago but hadn't seen each other since March. I still have feelings there and him coming back has knocked me for six. The new guy, I would love to get to know him but being with him and so many people asking to take pictures with him while we were on kind of a date and things intimidated me alot. I'm not used to it and it was weird, liek alot of girls and things. I'm not a jealous kind of person so its not that, the girls and people coming up to him didn't bother me, but I am a bit shy in big groups of people and I don't know if I'm confident enough or secure enough to deal with that all the time? I kind of felt sooo quiet, he invited me back stage to meet some other bands and I was absolutely petrified. I said no, but he did walk me back to where I was staying even though people were bugging him the whole time for pictures and things. plus him going on tour again in a few weeks for 6 months..? I'm so confused... I really have no idea what to do. Sorry if this doesn't make any sense.. I don't knwo what the hell to do
Author MissBrunette84 Posted June 11, 2012 Author Posted June 11, 2012 Sorry reading that back is confusing lol. Hes on tour right now, comes home then goes again for 6 months. My ex, Yes I have feelings but I have been there so many times, do I risk getting hurt yet again, going back to what I know? or do I try with the new guy that I do like alot and try my best to not be so intimidated by the other girls and try to get used to him being well known.. and try and be there even though he'd be away alot, which I have no idea how that would be, Im not clingy or anything and don't need to see someone constantly but 6 months is a long time.. I actually feel like crying lol
flitzanu Posted June 11, 2012 Posted June 11, 2012 gonna approach this a little differently. before considering this "rock star" you need to first consider if you can handle his social life. if you have a problem in groups or feel like you're being left out if he is surrounded by attention, then you need to face that now, because you can't expect him to change his behavior.
Author MissBrunette84 Posted June 11, 2012 Author Posted June 11, 2012 I think I'm quite out going, but I'm really not used to this kind of situation at all, I never felt like I was being left out. I just felt super shy, like I didn't knwo whether to say hey or stand in the back ground for a minute or what, I was a bit lost. I wouldnt ever expect him to change behavoir because its not his fault, I don't think he can change any attention. He seemed a little embarassed and was apologising to me
geegirl Posted June 11, 2012 Posted June 11, 2012 So, how will you handle seeing him here and there six months at a time? How will you handle not being able to just pick up the phone and call? How will you handle other women paying him attention (they will and he will like it)? How will you handle not being able to date like normal people date? You can't have a real relationship or foster one with someone who has a completely different lifestyle than yours and sounds like it's going to be this way for a long time. And his band and music will always come first so you have to be prepared to stand in the background while he pursues his passion. You have to deal with each of these situations separately. It seems like you're just not sure which branch to hold on to rather than analyse if the two are even right for you.
Author MissBrunette84 Posted June 11, 2012 Author Posted June 11, 2012 So, how will you handle seeing him here and there six months at a time? How will you handle not being able to just pick up the phone and call? How will you handle other women paying him attention (they will and he will like it)? You can't have a real relationship or foster one with someone who has a completely different lifestyle than yours and sounds like it's going to be this for way for a long time. And his band and music will always come first so you have to be prepared to stand in the background while he pursues his passion. You have to deal with each of these situations separately. It seems like you're just not sure which branch to hold on to rather than analyse if the two are even right for you. Thank you I hear you, I guess I need to sit down and think about it. Hes been in touch with me via phone and things still and we just get on so well just talking about regular things, we have similar personalities. Im a musician myself so Im not completely unaware of how it works and life styles are not completely on other planets. I am just not used to it. Its not every day you go on a date and have a million people asking for pictures and things. Its very bizarre. I don't have a problem with girls liking him, Im not a jealous person.
geegirl Posted June 11, 2012 Posted June 11, 2012 Thank you I hear you, I guess I need to sit down and think about it. Hes been in touch with me via phone and things still and we just get on so well just talking about regular things, we have similar personalities. Im a musician myself so Im not completely unaware of how it works and life styles are not completely on other planets. I am just not used to it. Its not every day you go on a date and have a million people asking for pictures and things. Its very bizarre. I don't have a problem with girls liking him, Im not a jealous person. I've dated two musicians in my life and while not as famed as yours but I will tell you that when I went into it, I felt no sense of envy or jealousy but when time came where I could not reach him, it made me feel unsettled. When time came where I saw women touching him and him having to entertain them, it affected me. When you're full blown emotional about someone, you will get to the point where you do wonder and he is an industry that is enticing to groupies and star struck women. I think this is not so much an issue, if you can handle it but there are a few more issues you need to consider when wanting a relationship with his lifestyle. How do you date someone you seldom see? Is that the type of relationship you are looking for? You won't see him in six months. Will you communicate every day or it doesn't matter if you talk once in awhile? Questions you need to ask yourself and answer with honesty. 1
Author MissBrunette84 Posted June 11, 2012 Author Posted June 11, 2012 I've dated two musicians in my life and while not as famed as yours but I will tell you that when I went into it, I felt no sense of envy or jealousy but when time came where I could not reach him, it made me feel unsettled. When time came where I saw women touching him and him having to entertain them, it affected me. When you're full blown emotional about someone, you will get to the point where you do wonder and he is an industry that is enticing to groupies and star struck women. I think this is not so much an issue, if you can handle it but there are a few more issues you need to consider when wanting a relationship with his lifestyle. How do you date someone you seldom see? Is that the type of relationship you are looking for? You won't see him in six months. Will you communicate every day or it doesn't matter if you talk once in awhile? Questions you need to ask yourself and answer with honesty. Thank you, I know you're right. I know that right now theres not strong feelings yet, so its ok but I get what you mean when you do get to the point of stronger feelings it could affect me more. I'm not the type of person that has to be in touch everyday. But like you say 6 months, it is a long time. Thats why I am on the fence, Ive never been in the sitation to know how I would actually deal with it, I can only kind of guess or imagine if that makes sense? I think it helps I'm a musician too so I get parts of it. I guess it just depends if things get serious if I would be allowed to join them on tour for a few days here and there or if it would strictly be no. I really like him alot, its so hard because I know what you're saying and I know maybe it could be hard? I don't know. I just don't want to just dismiss it either when I havent even tried to deal with it or be with him to knwo how I'll be. I'm just speculating.
Frank13 Posted June 11, 2012 Posted June 11, 2012 Do you really think he is going to go on tour for 6 months and not have sex with othet women? Lots of women. Really? If you want in for the thrill of being one of the women he slept with, then go for it and have fun. But for you and the others here to think he will be subjected to women coming on to him and not do anything is crazy. It's like a guy saying he is not jealous of a prostitute because he thinks she just talks to guys.
Author MissBrunette84 Posted June 11, 2012 Author Posted June 11, 2012 (edited) Do you really think he is going to go on tour for 6 months and not have sex with othet women? Lots of women. Really? If you want in for the thrill of being one of the women he slept with, then go for it and have fun. But for you and the others here to think he will be subjected to women coming on to him and not do anything is crazy. It's like a guy saying he is not jealous of a prostitute because he thinks she just talks to guys. Right so we've been talking for months and hes invited me to his house to stay when he comes home because all he wants is to screw me? he's actually a nice guy, he was in a relationship with another girl for 2 years. I don't think all musicians are whores, I think painting them with the same brush is ignorant. When we were on a date he was extremely nice too, I did not sleep with him, he walked me back to where I was styaing and we kissed good bye. There really was nothing ******* or rockstar about it. He has since kept intouch via the phone and then he invited me to stay with him for a week when he comes home. Edited June 11, 2012 by MissBrunette84
Author MissBrunette84 Posted June 11, 2012 Author Posted June 11, 2012 He texts alot, we have conversations till 3 in the morning sometimes and he actually just now sent a message saying he can't wait to see me when he gets back. I just wanted the advice for being confused as I do want to protect myself too and not fall smack on my face again. I think geegirl gets me that way.
geegirl Posted June 11, 2012 Posted June 11, 2012 Right so we've been talking for months and hes invited me to his house to stay when he comes home because all he wants is to screw me? he's actually a nice guy, he was in a relationship with another girl for 2 years. I don't think all musicians are whores, I think painting them with the same brush is ignorant. When we were on a date he was extremely nice too, I did not sleep with him, he walked me back to where I was styaing and we kissed good bye. There really was nothing ******* or rockstar about it. He has since kept intouch via the phone and then he invited me to stay with him for a week when he comes home. I think you need to be careful MissB. People are at their best behavior when trying to entice or are interested. You have to be careful. Inviting you over for a week when he is home is nice but it's also a week of intimacy and then he is gone again. It could be a good thing for him rather than you, to have that temporary companionship while he is at home and then he's gone, and he knows you know this. I will have to say that until you have something a lot more stable than just a liking and phonecalls and text messages, staying together for a week while he is home sounds a little shaky. Until you talk about each others needs, boudaries, what you hope for, is a relationship what he's seeking, expectations, etc., I'd be careful not to get in too deep, in the physical sense as well.
Author MissBrunette84 Posted June 11, 2012 Author Posted June 11, 2012 I think you need to be careful MissB. People are at their best behavior when trying to entice or are interested. You have to be careful. Inviting you over for a week when he is home is nice but it's also a week of intimacy and then he is gone again. It could be a good thing for him rather than you, to have that temporary companionship while he is at home and then he's gone, and he knows you know this. I will have to say that until you have something a lot more stable than just a liking and phonecalls and text messages, staying together for a week while he is home sounds a little shaky. Until you talk about each others needs, boudaries, what you hope for, is a relationship what he's seeking, expectations, etc., I'd be careful not to get in too deep, in the physical sense as well. Ok thank you, so do you think I should talk to him about what hes after? Do I go stay with him? I mean would asking such big questions early on just make him run? Its confusing, like now, hes at an awards show at this moment and he's still texting me saying he promises I'll have a great time with him when I go see him and that it makes him happy thinking about it. I'm just like... shouldn't you be concentrating on press? lol I'm so confused.
geegirl Posted June 11, 2012 Posted June 11, 2012 Ok thank you, so do you think I should talk to him about what hes after? Do I go stay with him? I mean would asking such big questions early on just make him run? Its confusing, like now, hes at an awards show at this moment and he's still texting me saying he promises I'll have a great time with him when I go see him and that it makes him happy thinking about it. I'm just like... shouldn't you be concentrating on press? lol I'm so confused. Personally, I would not stay with him. You don't really have enough with this guy to go that route. Don't ask him the questions. Get to know him first, the ins and outs because when you get intimate you cloud your judgement. The thing is, how do you even get to know him when he's not around. You really have to think this through. Like I said, when someone is interested or enticed by you, their attention will be off the charts. It's exciting and new. Their focus is on you and most times will say or do anything to get you to come their way. All that aside, what do you really have of substance aside from liking him, phone calls and texts, that quantify or equate to having a potential relationship that is balanced and fulfiling for the two of you? Imagine what a normal dating life would be for you and what you hope for when wanting to build a relationship. Will he be there and can he give you what you want?
Author MissBrunette84 Posted June 11, 2012 Author Posted June 11, 2012 (edited) Personally, I would not stay with him. You don't really have enough with this guy to go that route. Don't ask him the questions. Get to know him first, the ins and outs because when you get intimate you cloud your judgement. The thing is, how do you even get to know him when he's not around. You really have to think this through. Like I said, when someone is interested or enticed by you, their attention will be off the charts. It's exciting and new. Their focus is on you and most times will say or do anything to get you to come their way. All that aside, what do you really have of substance aside from liking him, phone calls and texts, that quantify or equate to having a potential relationship that is balanced and fulfiling for the two of you? Imagine what a normal dating life would be for you and what you hope for when wanting to build a relationship. Will he be there and can he give you what you want? Thank you Geegirl for shedding a new light on it, I definitly need to have a good think about everything and what I want from it all. Its helped alot Edited June 11, 2012 by MissBrunette84 typo
geegirl Posted June 11, 2012 Posted June 11, 2012 Thank you Geegirl for shedding a new light on it, I definitly need to have a good think about everything and what I want from it all. Its helped alot Good luck to you. I hope it works out for the best.
Author MissBrunette84 Posted June 11, 2012 Author Posted June 11, 2012 Good luck to you. I hope it works out for the best. Thank you Geegirl
Author MissBrunette84 Posted June 12, 2012 Author Posted June 12, 2012 I've arranged to go and stay with him, at this point I just think what have I got to loose really.
eles83 Posted July 1, 2012 Posted July 1, 2012 Hi! I hope you're doing okay... (That is a lot of stuff happening and fast!)
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