sarahbeth_17 Posted June 29, 2004 Posted June 29, 2004 I live with my bf of 4 1/2 years we have been best friends since like 7th grade. Last month he came home from a night out with the guys extremely drunk. The next morning he sat me on the couch and ssaid that he screwed up really bad that he had kissed a girl at the bar. He said that he was really sorry that he loved me more than anything in the world and it was just a huge mistake. I was really upset but desided it was something I could deal with and try to forgive him for. Now that afternoon I got pone calls from some friends that saw him do this and one of them said that they talked to her and she said they had been dating for a month. When I told him this he said that he didn't know what they were talking about and that people in a small town like to talk and not to worry about it. Well I was still worried but was dealing with it, I mean nothing like this had ever happened before and I just couldn't picture him doing anything like that to me. Over the next month I kept track of where he was at who he was with I even checked his phone sometimes now I feel kinda bad about that but at the same time I was not the one that broke our little circle of trust. Then on top of all this he started coming home saying that she called him at work and told him that is he didn't break up with me she was going to call me herself and get me to break up with him or one day she called him crying and told him that I threatened her and that I was going to beat her up. ( now I didn't even talk to this girl and even if I had anybody I threatened would have laughed in my face I am not a very big person and probably the most passive you will ever meet) So now a month has gone by and I am thinking this girl is crazy or something, but then I get the Phone bill for the last month. On this bill are a bunch of numbers I don't know so I look them up. There are 3 different numbers and they are her home, work , cell phone. So now what? Do I just pack my stuff and leave? What do I take, everything I own is really ours ex: vehicles, boat, jetski, TV, Bedset ect.? Do I give him a chance to explain? I am really hurt but really scarred too I mean he is my bestfriend. I don't think he deserves another chance but I feel like I am throwing everything away if I don't give it to him I mean we have been through so much together and I definetly love him.
Pookette Posted June 29, 2004 Posted June 29, 2004 Well, the proof is there. I'm sorry that this is happening, but at least you know and now you can decide how to proceed. If you really think you can forgive him for this you are a better woman than I am. If you decide to stay with him, put your foot down HARD so he won't think he can do this again to you. Keep a leash on him. He deserves much worse, but torture really went out of style after the Inquisition. Pity. "Do I give him a chance to explain?" He's already had a month to explain. If you want to leave him, look into getting a lawyer for the division of your property. You two seem to have quite a few expensive things. Immediately stop co-mingling your funds and don't make anymore big purchases together. If you can afford it, get an apartment or hotel room. Above all, don't let this girl bother you anymore. She sounds like the chick from "Fatal Attraction", but I don't think you have to worry about boiling bunnies or anything. "I don't think he deserves another chance but I feel like I am throwing everything away if I don't give it to him I mean we have been through so much together and I definetly love him." He's already thrown everything away, and still continued to have contact with her. Don't feel like you have to take him back. Take care, keep us posted.
Olivia_19742004 Posted June 29, 2004 Posted June 29, 2004 Do you want to give him another chance? Do you think he deserves another chance? How do you feel? What do you want? You know he's been cheating so there's no reason to discuss that part. What I don't understand is why you're asking other people what you should do. What do you want to do? Do you care that he cheated? Do you want to give him one more chance because you have too much invested? Do you want to try and make things work? I really think you need to sit down and think about what you want and what type of relationship you want. If you think this is something you can work through then do it. You don't need to come here and have people tell you to lose the guy he'll never change or work it out divorce is never the solution or any other statement people want to give to either support your staying or your leaving. Think about what you want to do then ask for advice on the best way to follow through with your decision. Until then no one an really help you in my opinion. None of us are you and we don't know how you feel. EDIT: Talking and typing never works well together
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