yrel80 Posted June 11, 2012 Posted June 11, 2012 My husband recently took a job out of state because there are limited jobs available in the area. Its a temporary job which was supposed to consist of 4 weeks with very good pay but is going to end up being six weeks. Before he left, we agreed that when the job came to an end, we would have enough money to survive and he should have received what he needed from his schooling by the time he gets back to get a job. A job has already been offered to him here once he has the info from his schooling available. As of two days ago he recieved his school info in the mail. I told him about this and he seemed happy about it. I was excited for him also. There are two weeks left on the out of state job. Two days ago he tells me the place he is working for is taking a 4 month job even further away. I told him we agreed he would come back after he was finished with the current job. Today he tells me he is going. I told him my opinion. I know the money is great but I need him home. He said he doesn't want to discuss it and is going. We are new to marriage by about 2 months and it is extremely hard being married but alone. I mean we talk everyday and I know he wants to be a good provider. He's very hard working. I told him all this and he acts like it doesn't concern him what I'm feeling. We always discuss things to make sure we are both suportive of the decision being made. I just wonder why suddenly my opinion and feelings about this job suddenly don't matter ? Im planning on discussing this with him soon but I have no idea how to go about telling him how hurt and small I feel right now. Any suggestions or idea why he is being this way ? Or how I can help him understand ?
Balzac Posted June 11, 2012 Posted June 11, 2012 It's hard to understand the "schooling" angle on this. Also hard to get a Goid picture if the financial situation. Communication is always the important factor.
Author yrel80 Posted June 11, 2012 Author Posted June 11, 2012 It's hard to understand the "schooling" angle on this. Also hard to get a Goid picture if the financial situation. Communication is always the important factor. He was waiting for a special letter from school for a certification he needs for a local job. I also work and our financial situation is stable.
Jibran Posted June 11, 2012 Posted June 11, 2012 Long distance relationships sooner or later start to get a little weird, although it is not true in every case. Is there any chance you can move to the place where he is working at the moment? You might be able to settle down there with him in reasonable amount of time. As you said, the money is good and that your husband is a workaholic, so it is too good an offer for him to refuse. He is, probably, thinking that you're just freaking out at the sound of 4 months and they'll pass like the gone by 6 weeks. I can understand that being away from your newly married spouse is difficult, so in harmony with both of your interests, can you visit him or he visit you every weekend? Look at all the possibilities, choose the one that seems most convenient, and put forward it in front of him. Let him know that your panic isn't a tantrum, but actual real concern for being with him. Also, try to get to him to focus on the bigger picture. Put forward the idea to him that he is forgoing a permanent job in order to work on a 4 month gig. Communication is the key. Have a detailed heart-to-heart conversation with him.
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