Scarecrow Posted June 11, 2012 Posted June 11, 2012 Hi, I am in a tricky situation and advice from friends and family doesn't seem to be working so here goes… I was seeing my partner around Christmas time a few years ago and we parted ways after a few months. He rekindled a relationship with his ex, they have a *son together. There were no hard feelings, I respected him for trying to keep a family unit together. I saw him last year and we instantly fell back into our old ways and starting spending time together. We did not sleep with each other, just spent time with each other as I was reluctant to resume a relationship with him being as it didn't work last time. We ended up seeing a lot more of each other and became a couple of sorts. He told me he loved me and I couldn't say it back at the time as I was a bit taken aback - *I take a while to fall in love as I've been messed around plenty in the past and don't rush into things. Anyway, we laughed about it and we became a lot closer. I realised a few weeks later that i did infact love him. We were together one evening and ended up having a few cross words over something silly, I did tell him I loved him that evening. The week following he became distant and didn't seem too fussed at seeing me. Its now been a fortnight and I've not seen him. I spoke with him on the phone a week ago and all seemed normal and we were having a laugh with each other. He called me a few days ago and left me a voicemail basically saying hi, returning your call etc. He said 'hope you're well" at the end and asked me to call him back. I tried calling him back and have not heard anything. One would assume the relationship is over but like a fool I am in love - darn it! I miss him terribly and really what to sort things out but I know the best thing i can do is leave it to him to return my call if he wants to. This guy can play games and has gone for a few days ignoring me as I had said something that offended him without my realising. At the time, I did explain that I don't' respond well to that and if he is upset he should just say so. My problem is, half of my friends are telling me to forget him (mainly the single ones) and the other half are telling me to tell him how I feel, in a letter or email. I do want him to know how I feel and that I do love him but almost feel its too late? At the start he chased me and refused to give up - almost as if he has caught his prey and is bored now! He spoke of having children with me and plans for the future - which towards the end I loved speaking about. We had been together for 7 months. I'm normally quite a strong person and don't get too involved in the emotional side of things but I miss him and really want to be back with him. Is it worth trying or should I wait it out, if its meant to be it will be??
Philosoraptor Posted June 11, 2012 Posted June 11, 2012 How long ago did he and the ex end things before the two of you got together? That will tell you a lot about where he is right now emotionally, and how cautious you need to be.
Author Scarecrow Posted June 11, 2012 Author Posted June 11, 2012 They had been separated just under a year when I started seeing him again. When he went back, he only stayed a month or so. She has since met someone else too.
Philosoraptor Posted June 11, 2012 Posted June 11, 2012 That last tidbit is a bit telling. Does he bring up the ex often? Just to err on the side of caution this could be one of those "I'll move on first" games rather than feelings truly coming from where they need to come from. What would he need to do in order to win your trust?
Author Scarecrow Posted June 11, 2012 Author Posted June 11, 2012 They have an up and down relationship, but they share 50/50 custody of their son so I do hear about her at times but I wouldn't say he speaks about her often. If he has, it's been in relation to their child. I know she had met someone else and is living with him as he had picked their child up from my partners home before.
Author Scarecrow Posted June 11, 2012 Author Posted June 11, 2012 I do trust him, I couldn't be with him if I didn't. I felt like I was ready to fully commit to the relationship properly and let go of my own insecurities. I just want him in my life. I don't understand the lack of communication with me these past few weeks. If this is his way of ending things, it's awful!!!
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