crazyaboutcrazy Posted June 11, 2012 Posted June 11, 2012 (edited) Four months ago my fiancee moved out. The majority of our problems revolved around the fact that I had kids from my previous marriage and she was convinced that I would put my daughters first if we started a family. She also demanded that I have no contact with my ex wife at all, which is impossible because of the kids. As the situation worsened, my ex wife pulled the plug on me seeing the kids after I told her they couldn't stay the weekend we were moving house. I became stuck in a powerplay between both of these women and it was my children who suffered as I didn't see them for months. This led to anger and resentment towards my girlfriend who was becoming impossible in regards to fixing my custody issues. Finally she moved out, we stayed friends and I was able to arrange to have my daughters over this weekend. Things were improving with my ex girlfriend and I even discussed getting her the engagement ring I had promised. During this time she was also hanging out with a guy who was interested in her and I have also been dating some women casually, but we were both holding out for each other. I had also promised to stay in the house we rented out of respect for our relationship, but as time passed paying all that rent and the bad memories forced me to give notice to move. I took her to dinner and out for drinks on the Friday night, and she slept over (non sexually) at the house. We talked about travelling together in a month and I told her I still wanted to marry her. She told me I had two weeks to find the ring, and we fell asleep with her in my arms. Next morning, however, she's angry that I broke my promise about the house, and after previously encouraging me to have my kids over that weekend, she suddenly demands that I don't return for them as I'm driving her home. I refuse, and she leaves the car furious. A few hours later I extend the olive branch, only to have her text me back that she hopes we all drop dead and how dare I choose the kids over her! She asks to pick up the last of her stuff 2 days later, tells me never to contact her again and that she is going to meet up with this guy. I ask why she's so upset and she tells me that it was a test and I failed, claiming she wasn't really going to stop me seeing the children but wanted to see if I would put her first.... It pisses me off because it seemed like things were going to work out, but it's clear that she is emotionally incapable of accepting that I can love her and my children equally. If she went through all of this to justify hooking up with this guy, which I assume she has done by now, that's a pretty drawn out way to do it. That being said, my friends and family think that she is insane, which she is, so there's no point trying to bring logic into this. A horrible way for it all to end, but the important part is the fact that my daughters got to see me again. But why does it still bother me even though it's best for everyone involved? Edited June 11, 2012 by crazyaboutcrazy typos
Daniel Kaiser Posted June 11, 2012 Posted June 11, 2012 The feeling of loss... it always bother us, even when rationally we know it is for the best. I wouldn't wanna be in your shoes, I suppose. Hope you find a girl that can understand the place you are in, but when you do, make sure you don't let her go, cause it takes a lot of maturity to be that woman. 1
Tree_Salmon Posted June 11, 2012 Posted June 11, 2012 No loving, mature woman would "test" you like this. Shes a pile of feces. 1
Limbo21 Posted June 11, 2012 Posted June 11, 2012 She sounds self centred and selfish. Every response on here will be the same as your friends and family 2
firemanq Posted June 11, 2012 Posted June 11, 2012 She forced you to choose between her and your children. You make the right choice, your children. Reading between the lines, she set you up. You are now at fault for the failure of your relationship by choosing your children. At least she can now leave with someone to blame, and she feels better. You will too. You made the right choce. You did dodge a bullet. 2
daphne Posted June 11, 2012 Posted June 11, 2012 You do not want this woman to be the step mother of your children, unless you do not love them. One guy that has reached out to me told me his children will always be first in his life. He had many of the qualities I wanted in a man. But usually work comes first, then kids, then somewhere at the end... me? I said no. However, there's no way I'd be a selfish person and expect a guy to cut off ties with his kids to prove his love to me. That's ridiculous. You need a woman who's going to be understanding and at least caring with your children. My father married a woman with children after his first divorce, and she was a selfish harpie. She turned out to be a horrible step mother, and physically abused me. I wouldn't wish that on anyone's kids. If I ended up getting serious with a guy who has kids, I know they are part and parcel and if I don't think I can be a good step mother, I would cut it off. You are now a package deal, so find someone who likes teh package. 1
Author crazyaboutcrazy Posted June 11, 2012 Author Posted June 11, 2012 She forced you to choose between her and your children. You make the right choice, your children. Reading between the lines, she set you up. You are now at fault for the failure of your relationship by choosing your children. At least she can now leave with someone to blame, and she feels better. You will too. You made the right choce. You did dodge a bullet. Exactly. She never accepted any responsibility for any of her actions, and even tried to turn around incidents such as smashing my laptop into being 'my fault'. Selfish, immature, vapid and vain pretty much sum her up. I'm sure she'll reappear some time in the future, but this was the last straw. I feel sorry for her though, she's totally insane.
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