talespinner77 Posted June 11, 2012 Posted June 11, 2012 So I met a man about a year ago, he has a 7 year old daughter. He waited to introduce me for about 3 months which was fine, we wanted to make sure we were going to work out. I am "daddy's friend" which is totally ok too. She told me she loved me the first day, we have a blast, she is my shadow, almost a mini version of myself. Sounds wonderful huh? Well, its the paternal mother. She wasn't over my now boyfriend when SHE asked for a divorce (yes I know). SO she tells her daughter mommy doesn't like Jen, she does things out of spite to hurt the little girl to get back at my now boyfriend for moving on. She openly admitted to him that she thought she would find someone before he would...../facepalm. Anyway, so I treat this child like my own, there is virtually no effort that I have to put forth with her, it was like it was meant to be. Will the jealousy subside, and the mom move on with her life, or just perhaps be happy that her now X husband has a girlfriend that her daughter loves and that loves her daughter back? I cannot understand how a parent can be so selfish in this case, it is so illogical and high school to me. On a side note, he tried to hold onto the marriage, she cheated 3 times and he took her back, did everything he could and she still wanted out, now that she is gone he is the bad guy......I have never been rude to her, or insensetive, let alone even really talk to her. I feel for the child because she feels like she cant like me unless she is here Also she doesnt really know what our relationship is, we dont kiss in front of her but do everything else, we say we love one another and talk about the future, but she has never questioned it. I just worry with the divorce she wont know how to express herself emotionally.
Balzac Posted June 11, 2012 Posted June 11, 2012 Paternal mother? These issues you describe are really the biological father's to work out. The child needs to be loyal to both biological parents and her relationship with you is subservient and developing. 1
loyalty Posted July 22, 2012 Posted July 22, 2012 I am going through a similiar situation, I broke up with my ex girl friend of five years due to cheating and her not accepting my son from a previous relationship. But we have a 3 year old daughter together which I love very much and is my life. My ex was a spiteful woman with no morals and uses my daughter as a weapon against me I feel she wants to do everything in her power to hurt me even if thats using my daughter. I have half custody of my daughter which i fought for in court. When my daughter comes to my house she will say things a little girl of her age should not say, like daddy mommy says you dont love me or you dont love mommy or mommy says your mean im sure you get my point. But my daughter comes out and says daddy I know you love me promise youll never leave me. One think the father has to do is not play the same role and just say no baby daddy loves you very much mommy was only kidding because its not fair to get the child involved in a situation like that and someone has to be the adult about the situation, kids are not stupid and are alot smarter than you think. Sounds like this woman is the same as my ex and its just something your going to have to put up with but just fight with kindness, you just keep doing what your doing and treat the child as your own because thats what she needs especially if you already have a connection. As the jealousy thing subsiding just depends on the type of person she is, she could just be jealous that he moved on before her ya know what I mean. But it sounds like your on the righ track
Serendipitous_Love Posted July 23, 2012 Posted July 23, 2012 I feel you pain. I have to deal with my husbands X wife. She has 3 children total. 2 older ones from a previous marriage and a daughter (with my husband ) who just turned 8. She IS my mini me. We alternate one week to one week. And when she is with us she is my girl! lol I've been in her live since she was five. Her mom....She is a complete nut bag. She has a revolving door of men in and out of her children's life. She is currently sleeping with her cousin. FIRST cousin. I swear she has Munchhausen. She is in a constant state of getting attention from someone, anyone. earlier she supposedly tried to kill herself because the cousin broke up with her. Long story short, her kids see all of her crazy behavior. But she loves her mom. Right now she doesnt see that her mom doesnt really care about her. everything is always about the mom first. She never takes her to the doctor, dentist, etc. It is ME. Oh man I could go on! Just know you are not alone!
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