Biscous Posted June 11, 2012 Posted June 11, 2012 I will try to collect my thoughts as best as possible. I was dating my ex for a few months before having to move out of state. We did the long distance thing since September. After I saw her mid April, may was weird. She was two months from graduating and took an internship after I bought tickets ten days before she was coming to see me. This could have been a clean break. Life and pursuits get in the way. She's a few years younger than me and needs some life experiences. I get that. Maybe she got cold feet about giving up nearly everything to move here. I just wish she did it properly. Just for reference she's 22, I'm 28. It's been two weeks since the break up. I've been having ups and downs about it. Maintained NC. She texted me a few times. One to return an item of hers to her she gave me as a gift (a sentimental gift of hers). I've been hesitant due to me being angry about the money and such. I'm really wondering how I should better deal with this. Our relationship was serious and all of a sudden she got cold feet about the thing. I kinda want to express to her that I have no hard feelings, but really what's the point? I really just need advice on how to deal with it. I've been keeping busy, but of course I get the mood swings of anger, resentment, love, care, sympathizing for her, etc. Any help appreciated.
Philosoraptor Posted June 11, 2012 Posted June 11, 2012 The thing is that big life changes are huge points for breakups. A new job, moving, graduation... any significant life change. I hate to say it but knowing they have that big life change often gives people the courage to change other things in their lives that they may have been too scared to change before. Just continue to take care of yourself and try to enjoy the moment. Live not in the past or future, but right this second. Find enjoyment in the little things going on right now as obsessing over the past will only continue to bring pain.
Author Biscous Posted June 11, 2012 Author Posted June 11, 2012 The thing is that big life changes are huge points for breakups. A new job, moving, graduation... any significant life change. I hate to say it but knowing they have that big life change often gives people the courage to change other things in their lives that they may have been too scared to change before. Just continue to take care of yourself and try to enjoy the moment. Live not in the past or future, but right this second. Find enjoyment in the little things going on right now as obsessing over the past will only continue to bring pain. Regarding your first point, I never thought of that. Glad you told me and that is something I need to look for in the future. I will continue doing what I'm doing to be happy. Thanks!
Chi townD Posted June 13, 2012 Posted June 13, 2012 Well, I think that since she dumped you, you need to go complete NC. She made the decision to have you out of her life, then you need to be out. No more texts, e-mails and phonecalls.Also, block her on Facebook. She can either have all of you or nothing at all. You are not her friend. I'm sure that you didn't get into a relationship with her only to step back and be nothing more than a friend. Everytime you respond to her, she is set in the forefront of your mind. Thus, putting you back to square one and these fellings (good and bad) come rushing back. Therefore, you need to completely cut all contact with her so you can heal and move on. She made the choice to leave you. So now, she needs to feel the conseqences of her decisions.
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