ThatDudeXO Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 I feel like it's impossible for me to get a date with someone on OLD. I have literally 1000s of ignored messages and failed chats. It seems like the only ones that are interested, I don't find attractive. I don't have trouble approaching and getting with girls when I am out at a bar, club or in any real life situation but it's so much different online. I'm a busy person so I can't go out that much to meet girls. I'm 22, mixed race and a above average looking guy I guess (if that helps) so it's not like I'm some ridiculously unattractive creep! I just don't understand why it's so hard!
Ruby Slippers Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 What are the messages you send like? How do you usually approach women online? What do you find attractive / unattractive? If you're successful with getting dates in real life but are busy, can you make a little more free time for real-life socializing? If it's working for you, it seems you should just do more of that. You say you're mixed-race. Are you yourself open to a variety of races or not?
wakaflockafarnz Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 Generally, people are braver online. This unfortunately translates to ease in flakiness too. It's easy to be like that behind a computer/smartphone screen. Plus, a lot of people still aren't mature enough to be over the whole online dating stigma. Don't get hung up on your looks. It's important, but it's not the be all, end all. Your approach could be off. They might not like the shirt in background of one of your pics. Who the heck knows for sure. Just keep plugging away. Keep your messages short (not text short, but not novels). Don't seem to eager. Let the flakes flake off. There's too many quality woman around.
Author ThatDudeXO Posted June 10, 2012 Author Posted June 10, 2012 (edited) What are the messages you send like? How do you usually approach women online? What do you find attractive / unattractive? If you're successful with getting dates in real life but are busy, can you make a little more free time for real-life socializing? If it's working for you, it seems you should just do more of that. You say you're mixed-race. Are you yourself open to a variety of races or not? My messages are a mix of a compliment, a "how was your weekend?" and try and open conversation with a bit of info from their profile. What I find attractive? Someone funny, fit and somewhat good looking. That's all! I'm open to any race as long as they fit the bill ^^ Every relationship I have been in in interracial but I get the idea that not everyone is into interracial relationships! I want to have some success in OLD, purely because I don't like going out ALL the time and when I do go out and meet girls, it's purely based on physical attraction, whereas in OLD I'm assuming it's not. Edited June 10, 2012 by ThatDudeXO
Vintage79 Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 At this point I've had plenty of online dates - my general impression is it's way easier to get a girl to go out with you if they initiated contact. I've tried Match and OKCupid in the last month, and have had probably 75+ women contact me via e-mail or "winks"...that's a pretty good selection. I've probably gone out with 10 of them. I think I maybe have gone out with one girl I contacted first. To get a response, the first message needs to be clever, or they have to be very interested in you...truthfully, I've found that a cutesy insult generally gets a response, although it may not translate into good vibes, unless you spin it into something really funny. "The hi, how are you, I love this about you, what did you do this weekend" thing hardly ever gets a response... I'm lucky, as I frequently get called very good looking and am pretty successful (very interesting, different job, good salary). Basically, it's easy for me to stand out, and it still hard to get responses if I reach out first. It's a tough world - best of luck, and maybe stick with real life encounters, if you've had good luck that way...
udolipixie Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 In my opinion online dating is harder than the old fashioned way for guys as likely gals are more ready to reject as since he has less opportunity to build rapport that can sway her preferences and she has more opportunity to stick to her preferences no giving chances and ignore /reject him without an audience or his verbal/physical rebuttal. Perhaps it's hard for you because of your standards and while your view of yourself isn't as positive as the view held by the gals you want.
chphan Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 I feel like it's impossible for me to get a date with someone on OLD. I have literally 1000s of ignored messages and failed chats. It seems like the only ones that are interested, I don't find attractive. I don't have trouble approaching and getting with girls when I am out at a bar, club or in any real life situation but it's so much different online. I'm a busy person so I can't go out that much to meet girls. I'm 22, mixed race and a above average looking guy I guess (if that helps) so it's not like I'm some ridiculously unattractive creep! I just don't understand why it's so hard! Welcome to my world. LOL. I kind of given up hope after 24 messsages. Only one manage to respond back to me a few times before just disappearing. And in the real world I'm consider decent looking enough. I think the problem with OLD is that women are a lot more picky than normal since not only do they judge you base on looks right away but also base on lifestyle and even income. Whereas in the real world you are a total stranger and they have no idea who are you. Also with OLD you are in constant competition with other guys so its easy for these women to trade up even another guy comes along soon. So above average to decent looking won't cut it if another guy around the corner has a better income than you and taller or more handsome than you. 1
rubberduck Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 Maybe you're all focusing too much on looks and not enough on personality? Trouble with OLD is that you have to have an awesome personality to pull it off
zengirl Posted June 11, 2012 Posted June 11, 2012 If real life is easier, then why not just focus on that? I think OLD is easy for some folks --- those who do well in writing and present well that way --- and harder for others --- those who rely on in-person charisma more. Just different sorts.
Ross MwcFan Posted June 11, 2012 Posted June 11, 2012 Weird. It's the complete opposite for me. In real life I've always been rejected. In online dating loads of women have shown interest and some have wanted to meet up.
Ninjainpajamas Posted June 11, 2012 Posted June 11, 2012 I find both forms equally succesful but probably easier in real life since you have the advantage of presence, charisma, confidence (plus im not photogenic)..It's hard to exude certain qualities online that would be possibly an influencing factor in presence, especially height and body type. Otherwise I believe online people can be a lot pickier and give more into the fantasy of the whole operation as If now you can construct your perfect woman/man. And I think you do have to use your personality and wit online versus in person I've seen many guys do without either just fine However not being an avid dater I've never sent anywhere near 1,000 messages to women ever but when I did the majority of the time I'd get a reply, but I guess I always said something unpredictable than generic to say, but that's not the type of guy I am, I don't handle things in a uniformed way or using a certain strategy I just do whatever pops up in my head at the time and go with it....win or lose. I think most men would find real life much easier or more succesful than online, especially since being online requires you to fill out a profile, divulge your height (although most lie) and be generally more interesting,I think online dating requires a different skill set, but If you have both then there's not much of a difference. However cold approaches are much more difficult in real life than online.
Caius Ballad Posted June 11, 2012 Posted June 11, 2012 If women are given freedom of choices between a alpha male and your average male, she'll always go for the Alpha. That's how online works. ALL women online will aim for the 20% alphas online because they have the choice. Makes one wonder if women in general should have freewill if this is how pimivite they are. Most women even vote for the tallest alpha president rather than the smart guy who could get the job done. Women are the downfall of society because they are illogical emotion driven pimitive lifeforms pretending to be on the same level as men. 1
FitChick Posted June 11, 2012 Posted June 11, 2012 It's hard to exude certain qualities online that would be possibly an influencing factor in presence, especially height and body type. Having good, clear, up to date photos (face, full length) eliminates 99% of the problems both sexes encounter with online. Everyone should pose next to one of those giant rulers in police line-ups.
wwwjd Posted June 11, 2012 Posted June 11, 2012 If women are given freedom of choices between a alpha male and your average male, she'll always go for the Alpha. That's how online works. ALL women online will aim for the 20% alphas online because they have the choice. Makes one wonder if women in general should have freewill if this is how pimivite they are. Most women even vote for the tallest alpha president rather than the smart guy who could get the job done. Women are the downfall of society because they are illogical emotion driven pimitive lifeforms pretending to be on the same level as men. hahahahahaha! the first sentence COMPLETELY proves why the last sentence is truth, yet many will lambast you for your blunt, politically incorrect statements.
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