MoneyMatt Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 I've been with this girl for 5 Years. We recently broke up, of course I still love her because we have so much history and when I asked her if she loved me she would say Yes but she wants to be single now. I've recently figured out she's hooking up with a new guy, but she won't hook up with me because "feelings play involve says". It just kills me she's hooking up with a another guy but not with me. I made all the mistakes, I begged, cried everything only to push her farther and her saying "I dont love you because of the person you become" And I would ask her "So we're done forever?" And she says "I cant tell the future". So I made the decision to go NC until July 3rd a date we both agreed on but I'm scared she'll fall in love with the other guy even though she insist she doesnt like him but w.e. I'm not sure what to say when we meet and how to cope for 3 more weeks
betterdeal Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 Do things that make you feel good. That could be going to the gym, trying yoga, going for walks, eating healthily, getting a haircut, going for a wet shave, having a massage, visiting an elderly relative, going skydiving, buying some new clothes. Anything that makes you feel good and is good for you. Try not to think about her. It won't do you any good. What matters now is you find your way to happiness. If you feel depressed, see your doctor about medication. Also talk to him or her about help if you are having problems sleeping. A break up is a major emotional trauma and tires us out easily, and doing things that make you physically healthy help to make you mentally healthy. Don't feel you have to see her on the 3rd. See how you feel then. If it doesn't feel right, don't do it.
Limbo21 Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 Dude you have a long road ahead and it's very painful. Make sure you talk to people, anyone, us. It helps to share these things. Do as above, good advice. Must keep busy. Must find a new hobby. There's nothing, absolutely nothing you can do to sway her decision and get her back other than time. In that time you must grow as a person but the painful road ahead must be filled with activities. Don't sit and wallow. It's a dangerous place to be when your depressed She probably won't come back, even if she does a successful 2nd chance is very hard. Don't think about the future, just by through day by day. You deserve a girl who doesn't want to put you through this pain! You deserve a girl that will love you for you
no_radar Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 totally agree with limbo, the road ahead for the next few months plus is going to be very hard! You have to keep busy even though your mental state will make mustering up the energy and effort to do these things very hard. You have to literally drag yourself through this and not dwell on a second go at things. hard to hear, but its time to cut and run dude. Setting a date for nc with her is a bad idea in my opinion, you should set a date with yourself and only talk with her if you randomly bump into her. keep talking to others as well. feel ya pain dude, good luck, and this wont last forever.
Author MoneyMatt Posted June 11, 2012 Author Posted June 11, 2012 Thanks Guys, it means a lot. Apart of me Still thinks I have a chance just because of the history we've had but then theirs a part of me that wonders why is she hooking up with guys? She wants to be single but can't tell the future between us. Well, each day it has been getting better and as for her set date to talk, I'm not sure if I even go. If I'm feeling better about myself Then I won't because I'm healing but then theirs the part of me That will think, What If I went.
betterdeal Posted June 11, 2012 Posted June 11, 2012 Take life day by day. When it gets to that day, take that day as it comes. You either do go or do not. Only you then can decide on that, based on how you feel. So, what are you going to do today?
Limbo21 Posted June 11, 2012 Posted June 11, 2012 When we are dumped we have 3 options. under NO circumstances am I using this example as hope for reconciliation 1, flowers, chocolates, beg, manipulate, cry, hound & plead 2 be friends with them 3 NC When we are dumped they dumper has pondered this over many months, each day that goes by during this period they are emotionally 'checking out' of the relationship So option 1 is not going to work (I know you know that) Option 2 might work but WILL cause you grief beyond your imagination and WILL prevent you from moving on/growing so if a reconciliation is on the cards it won't work the second time Option 3 .... Hate to say this but the ONLY option. She needs her thoughts and you need yours. She needs to miss what she's lost. She needs to realise your a well rounded guy, a special person. I would use this as a survival technique to get you through the hours. As we all know, nc is not about reconciliation, it's about survival. This is a painful time. Don't make it worse by facebooking her, looking at your phone & talking about the past with glowing memories .... Mourn & except it's time to grow as a person and use this time to become the man you've always wanted to be I look at 99.9% of all stories on here and cringe! It's over ... They don't deserve a second of your time, not 1 second. Life is short, keep strong & if a reconciliation is going to happen then it will by going nc
Mr Scorpio Posted June 11, 2012 Posted June 11, 2012 I'm guessing here that you are fairly young (mid-20's) and that the relationship therefore began in your late teens? If that is the case, your situation is a common one. That doesn't make it any easier or "justify" her actions, but realize you aren't alone in this. Now, her saying that she can't predict the future sounds as though she wants to have her cake and eat it to. Leaving you to go sleep with other men, yet offering you a glimmer of hope? Harsh. Best to go NC and walk away from ths one. If she wants you back, let her come back to you.
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