wakaflockafarnz Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 (edited) What's up, everybody? I went on a date last Sunday night with a woman I met on OKCupid. We had a couple drinks. Hung out for about an hour and a half. I walked her to her car, hugged her, and went on my merry way. I thought things went real well. I called her Tuesday night, but got voice-mail. Left a message telling her I had a good time, and I'd like to get together again this week. Left my number (which she already had) and hung up. She texted me the next afternoon saying she was free Sunday. I texted her back about 4 hours later, as I was at work, saying that Sunday night would work for me and I'd hit her with the detail later in the week. She didn't text me back, but I didn't really sweat that. I just kept it moving, and decided to figure out what we'd do on the next date. She mentioned that she liked bowling on our date, so I texted her Saturday (yesterday) telling her we were gonna go bowling @ this cool spot in Boston we both failed to get a lane at in the past. I still really want to go there, and figured this was a good opportunity. I didn't give all the details (time, pick-up or meet, etc.), just told her what we'd be doing. No text back then though. My gut says I should just abandon ship, but curious what you folks think. The date's supposed to be tonight. Edited June 10, 2012 by wakaflockafarnz
Vintage79 Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 If you want to see her, give her a last out. Text her and ask her if she's still up for getting together. My friends are usually up for going out, or are planning on going out, so I usually say, my friend invited me out tonight - and I need to let them know by say 3 p.m. And use that time as a cut off for the girl - just make sure to give her at least a few hours (i.e. 2-3). If she's interested, she'll respond by the deadline, marginal interest, she'll likely respond late saying, "sorry I missed you, but I was busy", and no interest, maybe a response saying not interested, or maybe no response. If she was really interested, she would probably say something - I'd likely go for the abandon ship, but give her the one last out. If you don't hear from her, don't contact her again. It's a text - not much effort... Regardless of what you do, don't head over to the bowling alley without a confirm...
oldshirt Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 I think if you bail now then you'd be the A-hole that flaked and you'd be the one in the wrong. You said you'd get back to her with specifics at a later time so if she doesn't hear from you then you are the one that stood her up. Give her a specific time and place and TELL HER to get back to you to let you know if that works for her or not. If you don't hear back from her then you have your answer. If she gets back to you it will either be a yes or a no.
Vintage79 Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 If you want to see her, give her a last out. Text her and ask her if she's still up for getting together. My friends are usually up for going out, or are planning on going out, so I usually say, my friend invited me out tonight - and I need to let them know by say 3 p.m. And use that time as a cut off for the girl - just make sure to give her at least a few hours (i.e. 2-3). If she's interested, she'll respond by the deadline, marginal interest, she'll likely respond late saying, "sorry I missed you, but I was busy", and no interest, maybe a response saying not interested, or maybe no response. If she was really interested, she would probably say something - I'd likely go for the abandon ship, but give her the one last out. If you don't hear from her, don't contact her again. It's a text - not much effort... Regardless of what you do, don't head over to the bowling alley without a confirm... Just re-read my response, and maybe it wasn't clear - definitely give her the one last out before calling it quits. The abandon ship comment was essentially alluding to the fact thta I wouldn't be expecting a response. As the previous poster stated, definitely give her the time slot if she wants it, and let her know it's still an option, but that she needs to at least give you a "yes" to get the time slot.
FitChick Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 If you had reserved a lane at the bowling alley, why wouldn't you have told her the time?
Author wakaflockafarnz Posted June 10, 2012 Author Posted June 10, 2012 If you had reserved a lane at the bowling alley, why wouldn't you have told her the time? This place doesn't work that way. You put your name on a list, show up when you want to bowl, and hope for the best. They don't actually do reservations for parties smaller than 10. I called when they opened this AM, and put my name on the list. I guess I'm giving the impression that I'm trying to be coy about this. I'm not. Stuff like this just makes me feel like I'm in an olympic sized swimming pool filled with a foot of water, and being told to swim laps.
Author wakaflockafarnz Posted June 10, 2012 Author Posted June 10, 2012 Just re-read my response, and maybe it wasn't clear - definitely give her the one last out before calling it quits. The abandon ship comment was essentially alluding to the fact thta I wouldn't be expecting a response. As the previous poster stated, definitely give her the time slot if she wants it, and let her know it's still an option, but that she needs to at least give you a "yes" to get the time slot. No worries. I read it just fine. I texted her about 10 mins ago and she texted back soon after. Said it sounded great and apologized for not responding yesterday, because she was in and out of the house. Kind of a dumb reason, but hey...whatever.
Vintage79 Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 Sounds like you're in business - have fun. Boston's agreat town...
Eternal Sunshine Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 Sounds like her Saturday night date didn't go well so it's back to you...
Author wakaflockafarnz Posted June 10, 2012 Author Posted June 10, 2012 Sounds like her Saturday night date didn't go well so it's back to you... Ouch. So, you think I'm wasting my time?
sid3 Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 I don't think its a case of her Saturday night going so well. More likely she was busy and/or not making herself appear too available. Funny thing about LS, you'll get just as many shytty comments as you'll get constructive advice. Having been here a long time, I'd suggest taking what you need and leave the rest behind. Don't let the garbage influence your thinking. Have fun on your date.
somedude81 Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 Have fun on your date. That's all. And girls are flaky, don't read into it too much.
Author wakaflockafarnz Posted June 10, 2012 Author Posted June 10, 2012 You guys are pretty cool. Thanks for the advice. Was a little taken aback at the little bit of negative energy with no constructive crit after all the help offered, but I'm new to this site. I'll just roll with it. Actually, it kind of helped keep my ego in check. That's a good thing, if you ask me. Ego kills all. Thanks again, y'all.
Author wakaflockafarnz Posted June 11, 2012 Author Posted June 11, 2012 Update: Had a really great time tonight. Definitely worth it. It went so well, it's incredible I almost bailed. Wow! Lesson learned. Definitely seeing her again. 1
Recommended Posts