Stupid Girl Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 Yesterday I had a first date with a guy I met at work. We were just going to meet for coffee, but ended up going for drinks after as well. I thought it went really awesomely. We had a lot of good conversation, and at one point he mentioned being glad he asked me out. When it was time to leave, I walked him a few blocks to his car (he drove down to my area to see me), we said goodbye and hugged (that was the most physical we got). He asked if we were going to do this again, and I told him I'd come down to his area next time. Then he left. I waited a few hours after he left, thinking I'd be getting an "I had a really good time tonight" text, but nothing came. Eventually I texted him to ask if he got home ok (since he was drinking earlier and all), and he sent a very generic response back. I was surprised because, from how he was acting, I thought he really liked me. But maybe I'm just projecting. At one point he also mentioned some other woman he met through work being hot, and why would he say that unless he wanted to show me he is interested in others? Is it safe to assume if someone doesn't contact you within a night or two after a date, they're probably not interested? Or was my assuring him we'd go out again before he left enough that he felt he didn't need to contact me about it again immediately?
sid3 Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 Yesterday I had a first date with a guy I met at work. We were just going to meet for coffee, but ended up going for drinks after as well. I thought it went really awesomely. We had a lot of good conversation, and at one point he mentioned being glad he asked me out. When it was time to leave, I walked him a few blocks to his car (he drove down to my area to see me), we said goodbye and hugged (that was the most physical we got). He asked if we were going to do this again, and I told him I'd come down to his area next time. Then he left. I waited a few hours after he left, thinking I'd be getting an "I had a really good time tonight" text, but nothing came. Eventually I texted him to ask if he got home ok (since he was drinking earlier and all), and he sent a very generic response back. I was surprised because, from how he was acting, I thought he really liked me. But maybe I'm just projecting. At one point he also mentioned some other woman he met through work being hot, and why would he say that unless he wanted to show me he is interested in others? Is it safe to assume if someone doesn't contact you within a night or two after a date, they're probably not interested? Or was my assuring him we'd go out again before he left enough that he felt he didn't need to contact me about it again immediately? My guess is he mentioned the other girl to you in an attempt to raise his value. Whether or not it works depends on how you perceive it. He's playing the waiting game, odds are you should expect a call/text in a day or two.
Buttercup84 Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 He sounds childish , he didn't walk you to your car or drive you home . He said another girl was hot , in my experience a man does not mention how hot another woman is on a date ..unless he is a jerk .
phineas Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 He sounds childish , he didn't walk you to your car or drive you home . He said another girl was hot , in my experience a man does not mention how hot another woman is on a date ..unless he is a jerk . Both sex's do this even though their interested. It's either insecurity or demonstration of value or game playing. I don't know why people do this but I consider it disrespectful & wouldn't date them seriously if at all because it's a turn-off. 2
Author Stupid Girl Posted June 10, 2012 Author Posted June 10, 2012 He sounds childish , he didn't walk you to your car or drive you home . He said another girl was hot , in my experience a man does not mention how hot another woman is on a date ..unless he is a jerk . For the first part, I mentioned he came down to my area of the city to see me. It's a busy, high-traffic city, so for him to drive me home (which was only a few blocks away) would have taken twice as long as if I just walked. So him driving me home isn't really something either of us considered, I don't think. But yeah, the second part, I don't really know what to think about that. He didn't act like a jerk in any other way, but if it talks like a jerk duck...
Vintage79 Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 I frequently won't contact people for a few days after a first date, in particular if the days immediately following the date are/were a weekend (as people are busy, out with friends, have a different lifestyle than during the work week). Based on the timeline you put together, it sounds like it was on a Saturday, or maybe Friday. I'm usually more busy on the weekends, at least with personal stuff, and don't hug my phone/internet the same way that I do during the week. If you work with him, will you see him on Monday?...he may just be waiting to say something in person. Regardless, I do think that mentioning that a girl is hot on the date is a bit odd, but it depends on context. If the comment was out of the blue, kind of weird, if he dwelled on it/her, very weird, but there can certainly be ways that it can enter a conversation and not be the least-bit strange. As for contact - my point is essentially that I rarely, if ever, contact someone immediately after the date (within hours), unless I'm scared/concerned they may not get home safe (i.e. maybe we had a few too many drinks). For me, there's a lot of excitement that builds up prior to the date, then it happens, and then I have to digest for a bit of time. If I think things were ridiculously awesome, I usually contact them in 1-2 days, if I'm neutral to slightly positive, 2-3, if I think things are neutral at best, I may contact the to give it another whirl, but that's usually 3+ days out. If things went awful - or I had no interest, I'll actually usually contact them that night, or the next morning - just to wash my hands clean, and to make sure that they aren't waiting for a call (it sucks to get that kind of message - but I think it's probably better than never hearing another word). I know my last girlfriend, who I dated for a few years, our first date was on a Thursday night, and I don't think I contacted her thereafter until Sunday night...I don't know if she was concerned or not, but it definitely worked out ok. Those numbers are just approximations - they're not intentional. I've become privvy to those numbers, though, so I actually use the time period of when I feel compelled to contact them again as a barometer for my interest. Point being, it's the weekend - if he doesn't contact you by Monday/Tuesday, then I'd be concerned...
FitChick Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 If he is insecure, he is probably following some advice he read in a dating book, i.e. don't call before three days have passed so you won't seem too eager.
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