Buttercups journey

[Buttercup84]

I joined LS in August when I was going through hell : In July my boyriend of two years broke up with me . We lived together , and from on the same day I moved back to my parents . I was really a mess , posting on here everyday and I had a major breakdown , even going to the emergency room it was that bad .

 

Then 7 months of NC I was getting better , and out of nowhere I get the email all of us dream of : I regret breaking up with you , and I want to spend the rest of my life making you happy . There was a lot more , but I won't go into that . But then he changed his mind and even said I was just hearing what I wanted to hear.

 

But him saying that really made me see what a coward and selfish arsehat he really is .

 

 

I have been going to the gym four days a week , re-kindled friendships with wonderful women , been seeing my friends a lot more , finished my course and starting my Diploma this month . And I am planning a lot more . I am even feeling ready to fall in love again .

 

I have missed him sometimes , feeling a bit sad mainly because it is Winter here now and I feel a tad lonely at times . But I know I will meet someone again and I am excited about that .

 

 

But what I wanted to say is that it will get better , I promise . You just have to fight .

 

I got all the breakup books that I could order off Amazon

 

The best one was " Getting past your break up " Susan J Elliot

 

I also want to stress : DO NOT CONTACT THEM

 

But you will , and that is fine . One day the urge will get weaker and weaker , until it is completly gone .

 

I know that I felt good when I contacted him , but then I crashed so bad because he still didn't want me back . I could still live in the hopes that he will take me back , and I was living a fantasy .

 

Oh boy , I was really ****ed up .

 

I hated it when people said " you will meet someone else " . Seriously ? he was my soul mate , I refused to even think of anyone else . I would rather die alone than ever be with anyone else .

 

If you have the time , you can look back at my hundereds of posts and see how bad I was . I took it so bad that I was on medication , at my doctors nearly every day because I wanted to kill myself .

 

 

Now I am checking out other guys , had a few crushes and I am more positive . My friend today told me that I have such a calm and positive nature . But while with my ex , I was so unhappy and stressed ,and I was very negative .

 

I still have to work on myself because I have always had low self esteem and that is one of the reasons I stayed with him for so long .

 

I am building my confidence for myself , but also so that I attract the right kind of guy . I have already attracted the right kind of friends in a year .

 

 

I want you to know that LS helped me so much , I kind of miss it . The break up was dark but I remember listening to a lot of music , I wrote a lot and did a lot of soul searching . I miss the people I spoke to on here .

 

 

You WILL get through this .

 

But please remember , they broke up with you . It is over . Even if you get back together , do you want to be with someone who just gave up ?

 

You just do not give up when the honeymoon is over or when things get hard. Real love isn't just about hot sex and feeling lovey dovey all the time .

 

It is about going through hard times , wanting to leave eachother but not doing it . You will want to kill them sometimes , you will not want to talk to them , you will wonder what the hell you are doing with them .

 

But then there will be the great times , when you become best friends too.

 

You want someone who will be with you through it all . And you will .

 

Take destiny in your own hands , do not let past relationships define you or scorn you . Even if your parents divorced , do not think that that is your fate too .

 

Every day you are moving on , means a day closer to meeting that person who is right for you .

 

Write here instead of contacting them , write them a letter you will never send , work out - it really helped me , if you can't join a gym , do yoga , go for a run each day. I went from the laziest person to a gym fan !

 

Feel free to email me if you want to talk [email protected]

 

xxx

[mike588]

Hey Butter... You remember me and we were both a MESS not long ago..my ex dumped me for her ex about the same time you broke up.

 

I too posted here daily and was beyond heart broken. You probably remember around the 6 month mark she emails me numerous times saying how sorry she was and she now regrets it....got my closure.

 

I don't know if they are still together and I could care less!!! I'm so happy now and am enjoying being single...like you said I know someone else will come along and I'll take the lessons learned into the next one.

 

I'm glad to hear your doing better and yes to all of you out there who are going thru your own personal hell it REALLY does get better!!! Really!!!

 

No Contact is the best thing you can do..it's preached here daily and it works! I'm sooooo glad I followed it even though I almost broke contact 1000 times.

 

All my best to you Butter... keep moving on!

[geegirl]

Puts a smile on my face to read your post, Butter. It's great to hear that you've come so far and on your way to making it! It's liberating. You and Mike are great success stories that you can and will get to the other side! Good luck to you!

[shayla]

So glad that you have rounded the corner. There is life after a nasty breakup, and you are proving that!

 

Thank you for sharing the good, the bad, and the ugly. It helped me get through it and I 'm sure it helped many others.

[kimeebee]

Thanks so much for taking the time to share this, my partner left me after almost 16 years together...the pain is unreal...but reading this does make me look to the future to a place where you are now.

[muzik_lvr]

Thank you so much for sharing your story Buttercup84. It was very very encouraging to read.

[skyisfalling]

i think the hardest part for me is letting go. Do i want to let go? Right now, the relationship that i had seemed so perfect.. but then again if it were perfect we wouldn't be broken up, but why can't i see that?? Why is it hard for me to let go knowing he gave up?

[Buttercup84]

Hey Gee and Mike ! thank you so much you both . I got through it with the help of you two as well .

 

Glad you're doing a lot better Mike :)xx

[fetish1980]

congratulations butter.

 

i remember your story from nearly a year ago. You've come a long way and seem like you've made an excellent recovery. I especially like the part in your post explaining why would someone get back together with someone who gave up in the first place?

 

Real stuff

 

fetish