DanJNorrington Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 Hi guys, I'm seventeen and I had split up with my girlfriend of 10 months like 3 weeks ago. Okay I know I'm young and all that business which everyone tells me but come on I still have feelings and I can't help that! So I'm just going to vent my frustrations on here and hopefully someone could help me out.... So basically for the 9 months of our relationship everything was really great and happy, I literally thought the world of that girl, I wasn't clingy I just did a lot to please her and make her happy. We did talk about plans for the future (yeah kind of naive or what have you but yeah) and everything was rosy. She was my first relationship and I did lose my virginity to her and that certainly made my feelings so strong to her. We had great times together literally they make my stomach churn just thinking about them now. I kept healthy balance between girlfriend and friends so I didn't lose anyone.. She's a controlling girl and likes control. I'm a shy kid but I got very comfortable and confident with her, I was happy for her to act with slight control as long as I was happy and not really miserable with it.... We saw each other daily but not for long, it consisted of me walking to her house and then walking to her college, but I sacrificed my free periods to do this to see her, and then it would be the weekends where we saw each other and arranged time... But there was things that started to change, she started to become resistant to me, she would literally always say no if I suggested we do something, she got a job and started to go gym and I was really pleased at her for doing this, I was proud she actually went and got something. But it soon would be her saying no I'm not going to see you tonight I have gym.... Oh right okay that's fine not to worry, but it kept happening and I soon was not on her list of priorities I was at the bottom and it sucked because I'd given her this space and she just started to abuse it and not care about me when I'd always be there to arrange things and see her. She would be blunter with me on texts now, and this would get me annoyed as I had to continue on a conversation which was boring and dying. To be honest I hated texting her it just annoyed me how she acted on there. We used to put little status' saying London with .... And that but then she stopped doing it and I said why? Are you ashamed to do it? And shed say its just a status (I know it's only that but these mean a little a bit of the other person shows it... I'm not sure if it's pathetic) But yeah I could see things were going through a rough patch and while I was up London I bought her some flowers and brought them to her house out of the blue, she seemed happy but not like really appreciative and was more concerned that she didn't have her make up on that I was there. And that made me feel quite disappointed with her reaction there didn't seem any real appreciation. Anyways to cut the story shorter, she just got colder with me, didn't want to hold hands, not to come close to me, and on the day before we split up she took me out for a meal and paid for it for the first time... And I was so angry and annoyed with her, before I went to the meal I was telling my mum how unhappy she was making me and that I'd be happy to split.... So next day I invited her round and we both honestly spoke about everything... I said I'm really not happy with how everything's going, she agreed, I said you don't make time for me, if you just set aside ONE day a week to devote ourselves to each other but she said she couldn't do it. She said if I wanted to make time I would... So that says a lot and she said she doesn't feel were the same any more we are different and I strongly disagreed because I've never felt this. I just said I think we could still give it a go if you make this change of seeing me like for one day it isn't too much to ask? But she kept saying it's Not just that you've been at fault as well, you just get annoyed at anything. Which is true but not like in the sense of at other things it would be her her she was being blunt and cold to me... And it hurt so I was being annoyed and unresponsive back in the latter stages of the relationship. So we split up together and I wasn't too upset at the start and It didn't really dawn on me that we'd broken up till the next day when it hit me like a tonne of bricks. I panicked and thought crap ive lost her! so I texted her saying how are you feeling? She said she was finding it hard but we needed to do it to see how we feel as if it's like a test. She said in a week or so's time we'll see how we feel and then if we feel it's right we should get back together. A week or so passes and I coped well I didn't text her she'd always text me first usually so I sort of hoped oh shes interested me again and realises. Anyways I said well do you want to go to this forest to talk about things and she said I don't think it's right yet. So I just blunted it saying ok cool, then she added, we can see each other in the week off though yeah? And I sort of took light of that and thought okay yeah we'll do that. (controlled again she'll say no to me but I'd always except her plans) She kept saying about us being friends for now after I said shall we meet up tomorrow to go to this park to speak and I was like erm I'm not being friends... I'm sorry I still have strong feelings for you, I can't just let you be a friend and watch other boys be with you, it'll hurt and il need to get away from you, I'm doing this as a test to see how we cope without each other... She got upset that I didn't want to be friends because she said you don't want to speak to me? Even the possiblitly of a relationship your not even willing to wait for that? Anyway we get to the week off and we arrange to go to this beach side place, and I still didn't text her first a lot it would be mainly her and she seemed generally happy just like how we used to be. So we meet up on the day and I get ALL those feelings back after seeing her since three weeks ago, and we get on the train talking about things, and she holds my hand (okay inside I'm thinking wow she's realised this is a good sign) next thing she does is put my arm around her and cuddle up to me (once again this is good I'm thinking) then we get to the place and we sit on this bench and she went so how do you think about us? And i said well I'm not miserable being single... But I'd give us a try again within a heart beat I still think we can be how we were... Then I asked about her and she went well I want to be single now and I don't want a relationship with anyone... I was really shocked I said what was you just doing on the train then? What's that supposed to mean? She was just like I still have feelings for you and love you that's why I did it.. I just think its not right for us yet. She was saying how she doesn't want any other boys/relationships she just wants to be herself now. So I was like right... Still quite shocked that she'd behaved how she did, then she started saying were seventeen we need to live our lives and I was like yeah fair enough that's true but you didn't say that when we started and was into the relationship.. As well she said she still wants to see me and talk to me and see how we go and then there could be the possibility of a relationship. I agreed and said wel see how we go and treat it as seeing each other... Then I said if we still loved each other and wanted to see each other like now we'd cut the crap and just make a commitment again but she got annoyed by this and started bringing up what her mum said about, you should feel sick in your stomach with nerves and that's when you know it's right to go back with them... (ludicrous I know.. Her mum poked into the relationship so much) she kept saying if you truly love someone you'll wait .... And this made me feel so guilty. Anyways she kept kissing me and I felt so lead on and being played with but I couldn't help it. On the train journey back, my friend asked if i wanted to take this girl to her prom as she needed a boy etc and she saw the message and i told her... She got so awkward and went really red faced and looked quite hurt by it.. I said what's the matter? And she was like obviously i don't want you to go but I can't stop you. Her reaction makes me wonder what she actually wants.. The next day we texted and I was saying your trying to lead me on and play with me, your keeping me in your pocket so you can come back to me, but she denied and said I don't see what's wrong with us being close friends and still close with the possibility of a relationship. I'm not messing you around this is what I think we should do, I said I couldn't be a friend and she said are you absolutely sure? And it was killing me to do this as I so wanted to get rid of her but I couldn't.. I said il text you when I've calmed down.. Finally I just need some help what do you think of the situation? Is she trying to lead me on so if she wants to just come back to me she can? Does she genuinely want to work up to a relationship? Is she letting me down gently... Or should I just make more effort and try and win her back...
TaraMaiden Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 She loves you, but isn't IN love with you, but expects you to be there for her, and only for her. Ir's all on her terms. Read the "All-New Caliguy no Contact guide" in my signature. I mean, really, really READ it. more than once or twice, too.... It works, it works 100% and it works 100% for a reason. Because it puts you in control. But for it to work, you have to stick to it 100% And for the sake of your sanity, broken heart and dignity - you have to do that.
Tiera D Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 my exes always pulled the lets have a break and then maybe some time later bla bla bla all that crap,i can tell u its nothing but lies to keep you in a backburner..my current tried the break thing with me during a rough patch,i told her there is only breakups no breaks because to me its the same and straight leaved the car,i realized in the last relationship to keep solid boundries,and never give too much power to the other side,the thing you should do now is read Caliguys NC guide.Read it,love it,live it TD
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