maryx93 Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 My co worker (who is 29) has a crush on me (im 18). We have known eachother for a about a month and he was the one who trained me to do my job now! Hes really nice, sweet, funny and seems like the perfect guy. He always flirts with me and even my mom could tell when she came into my work one day. I have a feeling hes going to ask me out and I dont know what to say. I kinda like him and would like to give him a chance but I dont know if it would be a good idea... he doesnt look 29 my mom thought he was like 22. Ive never had a boyfriend before and I know hes had girlfriends so I dont know if it would effect us being together or not.... please dont just say hes looking for sex! Because 1) I honestly dont think he is 2) If he is I would tell him right away its not going to work out!! so any advice?
d'Arthez Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 please dont just say hes looking for sex! Because 1) I honestly dont think he is 2) If he is I would tell him right away its not going to work out!! so any advice? You are 18. You still have a lot of emotional growing and developing to do. By the time you hit 24, you will probably not recognize yourself as an 18-year old. 35 and 29? Not so much so. So chances are quite big you will grow apart. You are also quite inexperienced in relationships, and not saying he has intentions to take advantage of that, but if he is manipulative, then you'll struggle to spot that. For one thing, what he says he wants may not match up with what he actually wants. Can you discern the difference? Also, you have to wonder. He is 29. Can't he date someone closer to his own age?
Author maryx93 Posted June 10, 2012 Author Posted June 10, 2012 You are 18. You still have a lot of emotional growing and developing to do. By the time you hit 24, you will probably not recognize yourself as an 18-year old. 35 and 29? Not so much so. So chances are quite big you will grow apart. You are also quite inexperienced in relationships, and not saying he has intentions to take advantage of that, but if he is manipulative, then you'll struggle to spot that. For one thing, what he says he wants may not match up with what he actually wants. Can you discern the difference? Also, you have to wonder. He is 29. Can't he date someone closer to his own age? I understand what your saying!! But I think I could figure out if hes taking advantage of me! I may not be that experienced in relationships but I have common since! and as for the whole dating someone closer to his own age... It isnt like he was flirting and stuff from the very first time we met. It was only after we started talking and relized we have stuff in common and etc. Im not saying it will be a relationship that will laste for 70 years... Im just woundering if it will be worth the risk... (I apologize for my bad grammer and spelling! its late and I just dont give a crap lol...)
ascendotum Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 Go with your gut feeling. His emotional maturity could easily match his looks. If you've known him for a while and consider him..'really nice, sweet, funny and seems like the perfect guy' then why not, as long as you are on the same page with what you want out of the relationship and he's not considering you as someone to settle down with, while you just want to experience some fun & adventure.
gaius Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 It can get uncomfortable at work if you date him and it doesn't work out. If you're willing to take that risk, just say yes when he asks you out. If he doesn't, start dropping hints about something you would love to do and hope he takes the bait.
d'Arthez Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 I understand what your saying!! But I think I could figure out if hes taking advantage of me! I may not be that experienced in relationships but I have common since! There is a difference between thinking you can spot manipulation, and spotting manipulation on the spot. If you choose to pursue this, please be wary of the difference. A bad first relationship can have a major impact on you, and can really mess things up. and as for the whole dating someone closer to his own age... It isnt like he was flirting and stuff from the very first time we met. It was only after we started talking and relized we have stuff in common and etc. Depending on the stuff you have in common I would be a bit worried. After all, he has had 11 years more of life experience, and that is a lot. What may be "normal" interests of a 18-year old, are not necessarily "normal" interests for a 29-year old. Also, if you have that much in common with each other (which is possible), there should be other women out there who are closer to him in age, and have similar interests. When I was 25, the thought of dating an 18-year old girl, made no sense to me, unless I wanted a relationship for physical reasons; and I am not the kind of man who would date for such a purpose. If you want to pursue something, go for it. But give careful consideration to what you'd want from this relationship, and what he actually wants from this relationship. Don't rush into anything and take your time.
LittlePrince Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 My co worker (who is 29) has a crush on me (im 18). We have known eachother for a about a month and he was the one who trained me to do my job now! Hes really nice, sweet, funny and seems like the perfect guy. He always flirts with me and even my mom could tell when she came into my work one day. I have a feeling hes going to ask me out and I dont know what to say. I kinda like him and would like to give him a chance but I dont know if it would be a good idea... he doesnt look 29 my mom thought he was like 22. Ive never had a boyfriend before and I know hes had girlfriends so I dont know if it would effect us being together or not.... please dont just say hes looking for sex! Because 1) I honestly dont think he is 2) If he is I would tell him right away its not going to work out!! so any advice? He's looking for sex. They are all looking for sex. That doesn't mean he isn't looking for more as well. I don't know if you should date someone significantly older than you. You could catch a case of the olds and become the youngest geriatric in history. I'd be careful if I were you. You don't want to end up playing pinocle down at the retirement center at 18. Leave that until you are 22.
pink_sugar Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 You are 18. You still have a lot of emotional growing and developing to do. By the time you hit 24, you will probably not recognize yourself as an 18-year old. 35 and 29? Not so much so. So chances are quite big you will grow apart. Very good point, I am 23 and already feel more emotionally different than I did then. I had emotional dependence issues and thought very differently then. Now I'm independent and stronger willed and look back at decisions and wonder why I made them.
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